Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Unlike Football, Mother Nature Provides Year-Round Violence

I watched the National Geographic show "Galapagos" the other night. If you're familiar with this site, you already know about my affinity for animal-on-animal bloodshed. Well, this special provided a doozy. It's a hawk, killing an iguana by grabbing it and pressing its head INTO THE SCORCHING FUCKING EARTH. Fucking awesome. The Galapagos hawk, if you didn't know, is at the top of the island's food chain. It has no known worthy adversary in its ecosystem. Know what that means? That means it has carte blanche to fucking kill at will. Bad. Ass.

When I die, I'm coming back as a hawk. And I'm parking my ass right outside Cameron Diaz's house.

26 comments:

Unsilent Majority said...

my brother used to use that same strategy on me.

darwin's finches are pussies.

MemphisRaines said...

Can we drop Joe Buck and/or Peter King off on the Galapagos Islands? I think we all would enjoy seeing Joe Buck play the part of the iguana in part 2 of this video.

BeaverFever said...

wow, there are 10,000 ways to enter the river of death.

also, check out Peguin Safari on the Natl. Geograpic channel if you like animal-on animal blood shed. One of those giant seals shakes a penguin to death until it's head almost falls off while beating it against the water.

Unsilent Majority said...

I like watching kittens fight to the death...but that's me

Anonymous said...

That video makes me long for sorority socials.

Redhead said...

I've always been a big fan of killing reptiles, so thanks for that, but um...Cameron Diaz? Seriously?

Otto Man said...

Is this from the meat industry filmstrip that the Simpsons kids watch in class? The one with all the shots of "natural adversaries," like the alligator who eats the gorilla?

Mike said...

Hawks kick mountains of ass. I love those animal shows where some rodent/weasel/ground bird comes out of its hole to check out the scene, catch a few rays, take in the fresh ai--

And then Mr. Hawk comes out of fucking NOWHERE to wreak havoc, rain destruction, and all that other death from the sky jazz.

So brutal . . . but soooooo smooth.

Bad Barbecue said...

The hawk does have one natural enemy...

Alka Seltzer tablets.

Anonymous said...

Otto, I'm assuming you caught that episode last night as well. However, a shark nabs the gorilla. I still prefer the episode with the flock of birds that fly off with a moose.

Otto Man said...

That was on last night? I missed it, but must've sensed it.

And you're right -- it was a shark. I knew it was more ridiculous than an alligator, but couldn't remember.

David said...

Rick Majerus just masturbated to this. I'm not sure I blame him.

save the steagles said...

I need to add the National Geographic Channel to my "Things I Don't Understand about Boys" list.

gone said...

That hawk can be my wingman any day of the week - as long as he doesn't start shit with me. Then he'll have a natural known enemy.


wf: stevcle .... that should be measted. Is measted a word? Measted.

Laser Rocket Arm said...

If you listen closely, you can hear the violence woodies popping all over the place.

quiet cardinal said...

fucking hilarious, bdd

Mr Furious said...

OM, Burnsy,

Are you guys talking about Bovine University? One of the finest two minutes ever drawn by Korean hands...

"Just ask this scientician..."

Mr Furious said...

Oh, and That hawk, BDD? Pussy.

What is that shit? Stepping on the lizard's head? As Trent said: "And you got these fucking claws and [that beak], man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your [beak]. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man."

Rip that reptile open. Quit wasting time.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Don't let the name throw you Jimmy. It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.

Otto Man said...

"Surely, you don't expect us to swallow this tripe."

"And now, courtesy of our friends on the Meat Council, this free tripe!"

Anonymous said...

how did you get a copy of the Zach Randolph rape video?

Unknown said...

Also awesome, the owl that hides in the rocky nests of its prey waiting for them to come home, then BAM! Seagull for dinner...

Signal to Noise said...

I for one would like to see more of the "kill kill kill" tag.

Joey Porter's pit bulls would like to have a word with that hawk.

jackin'4beats said...

To quote the great Stewie Griffin as he addresses the two butlers serving him lunch:

"You and you...FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!!"

Someone please find this clip on YouTube, the man blocks access here.

WV: raqkzi
Is that like a Nazi with a nice rack?

Section 138 said...

No sound? Would a little lizard screaming be too much to ask for? I like some violent sound with my violent videos.

jackin'4beats said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu2oIvdLSOE