These guys definitely didn't skimp on the effects budget; the transition from the real Brady to the faux one is seamless. You probably won't notice, except upon several studied viewings.
If Brady ever needs a double to distract the media while he sneaks over to Gisele's crib, this doppelgänger should get the first call. See for yourself:
The NFL's finest have gathered in Honolulu for the annual showdown betwee --- Wait... should we prattle on about a game that no one gives a rats ass about anyway, or should we continue to revel in the misery of Pats fans?
Yeah, I thought so too. Let's hear from Fitzy....
This may end up being the best off season ever. Cheers!
Christmas Ape linked to this petition earlier in the day, from Patriot fans calling on Roger Goodell to investigate the outcome of the Super Bowl. Yes, because no Boston team can ever lose without it being a cosmic injustice of notable historic significance, this petition has garnered well over 1,000 signatures from Boston-bred douchebags the world over. Let’s have a sample, shall we?
38. Dave Rosenthal I can't believe this isn't a big story. I mean, we should be 19-0, but the NFL hates that Pats, so instead we have to go through this the rest of our lives knowing we got gypped.
91. Bradley Whitaker The referees seemed as though they wanted the Patriots to finally lose.
119. Brandon Lathrop Proven That the game was over after eli was tackled, should have been a patriots win, this was a all set up by the nfl as a conspiracy.
109. Andrew Paterson It is obvious that, whether by accident or intent, the clock was kept in the last 1:40 illegally and in such a way that it cost the New England Patriots a fair chance to win the Super Bowl. This is not bitterness talking, I actually believe the outcome would or could have been different. Please, at the very least an acknowledgement or apolgy, if not your ordering of a replay of the game from that point on, even though I realize how much that is to ask.
105. alex ketabi this must be investigated. this completely proves that the patriots should be super bowl champions
312. Meaghan O'Toole give the patriots their rightful win
968. Daniel Duggan I was orinally signer 47. I have since found my dignity and self respect. I formally withdraw signature 47. Oh and this one too.Please don't count me twice. Don't count me once either. Don't count me at all please. Though we did get ripped off 1:40. That kinda sucked. You know? I mean with that extra time and all, we could have won it. In fact we deserved to win. GOD DAMN. WE WERE CHEATED. We WERE EFFEN CHEATED! THIS SUCKS. THIS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SUCKS. We should be 19-0 and on top of the world. Man, I hope this petition gets to Mr. Goodell. He can make it right. PLEEEEEASE make this right Roger. Please, Please,Please, Undefeated that's what we should be. Undefeated.
1144. Shamus Hughes Not only was the game clock illegal, there were questionable calls during the pass in which Eli Manning threw that pass downfield, there were 2 holding calls, including a severe one on Adalius Thomas. The fact that the NFL is trying to make the Mannings the faces of the NFL has to stop and they have to realize that its time to start calling fair games, even if the Patriots are playing
194. Erik Frenz I don't know much about the rules of the NFL but as a Patriots fan if this is true I feel cheated. If this is true there should seriously be a replay of the last 1:40 of the Super Bowl. I didn't bet on it myself, but a lot of people lost or gained a lot of money on this game and the real outcome deserves to be known.
193. John Vairo I would like to call out all the hypocritical Giants' fans here. If you think you're so amazing, then why are you so afraid to possibly play another game? According to you, the Super Bowl is more important than any other game. So if you were so "dominant" in this "fixed" game, why are you so afraid to replay 2 minutes of a game or even a whole additional game? You talk so high and mighty like you're the greatest team ever, but then hide in the corner, content with the excuse of "Well, we won. It doesn't matter if it was fixed or not." I strongly encourage the commissioner of the NFL to investigate this matter, because to not, would destroy the integrity of the game, and will make me stop watching the NFL from now on, because it is clearly fixed.
Stunning, isn't it? You wouldn't think that one group of people could reach suchs high levels of both arrogance and insecurity simultaneously. It's the sort of thing anthropologists will study years from now, asking themselves, "How was such douchebaggery enabled in a civilized society?" Alas, I do not know the answer. I wish I did. I really, really do. So we at KSK felt naturally obligated to sign the petition as well. Here were our sentiments.
1116. Obill Bin Cheetin All my internet warriors. Stay in cave. We weather storm together. Camel lick raw butt. We be better in no time.
1186. Tommy This is fackin' bull shit! That dahhhkie Mike Carey rawbbed our man Welkahhhhh of the MVP! AS FAAAAAHHHH AS I'M CONCERNED, WE'AH UNBEATEN!!!!
1183. B-Simm It's not fair! This was supposed to be OUR moment! I had a bag of frozen peas waiting for Tom!
1151. supermike4ever I only started rooting for the Patriots once they started winning Super Bowls. Now I don't know what to do.
1163. Matt Walsh I am filming all of you signing this.
We encourage you to sign it as well. Show these Pats fans that you support them. They need you. BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING LOSERS WHO CANNOT GET OVER ANY SLIGHT THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO THEM, BE IT REAL OR IMAGINARY. We'll post the best ones here. Please note you can sign it many times over!
UPDATE: Here are some good ones:
1152. Teddy Bruschi's Skull Clot I'll be back and so will the.......*thud*
1160. Randy Moss' girlfriend Please let Randy win the Super Bowl! He's going to kill me!
1177. T Kennedy The Er Eh... Pats were er eh robbed.
1181. Bob Hi there. I'm a Pat's fan. I believe that we were robbed. I also believe that having a cock up my ass is very enjoyable.
1184. Victor Kiam Every time I think that the city of Boston can't sink any lower they go and do this-AND TOTALLY REDDEM THEMSELVES!!
1196. Retard Ed McDouche Not only should the NFL investigate this game, but they should review every game from the last 25 years and award every Super Bowl to the Pats. Tom Brady is the one true Messiah and Coach Bellichik should be elected president. This is all the fault of black people. Now I have to go drink whiskey and beat my wife.
1215. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer Your world frightens and confuses me, when I see a solar eclipse, like the one I went to last year in Hawaii, I think 'Oh no! Is the moon eating the sun?' I don't know. Because I'm a caveman -- that's the way I think. But there is one thing I do know, the Patriots were robbed of their rightful championship
1294. hines ward prease lepray superbewrr. praxico is tarr leceivel but i win superbewrr without him! i hate praxico! he no make me smerre.
UPDATE: Oh noes! They're brought out the Powerpoint presentations! Non-calls, of course, means cheating by the other team!
We've sadly come to the final WHO YA GOT? until September and we're left to wonder what can carry us across the seven-month void of no football. Likely it's two activities that will never get old: maliciously glorying in the Greatest Choke Job of All-Time (tm 2007 New England Patriots, all rights reserved) or some good old-fashioned fucking, like yo mamma used to make. Which is better? Which will help us more to cope with the offseason? WHO YA GOT?
Hopefully they dispatched the waaaaahmbulance to this place. Not to help the Pats fans, but because they should collect their tears. I think they cure cancer. At least they clear up anything that's bothering me.
Much thanks to TheJetsBlog.
Update: Shock of shocks! Obama didn't carry Massachusetts. Wonder why?
Well, it’s the end of the day and I’m so very sad. Because it’s been such a pleasure to wallow in the misery of the Patriots and their fans. Seriously. You people earned it. You got fucked. I’m so very, very pleased for your loss.
And so, to close out this historic day of hateration, we dole out a final round of hearty and oh-so-sincere FUCK YOUS to the Patriots and everyone associated with them.
Yes, FUCK YOU, Bob Kraft. Model franchise, my ass. Why don’t you go have a glass of water to clear out the frog that’s been in your throat for the past 60 fucking years.
FUCK YOU to Bill Belichick. You know what’s even nicer than that fact you lost, you fucking shit stain? The fact that you might also lose your fucking job. Isn’t that lovely? Not only did you lose a game, but you also stand to lose your livelihood, your reputation, and your legacy. I, for one, am extremely excited for you to grow a beard, move to Iceland, and become an anti-semite. Cockbag.
FUCK YOU to the Patriots fans out there. “This one hurts!” “This one stings!” Awww, you poor things! You had to suffer through ONE loss all year! Oh no! HERE COMES THE RAIN AGAIN! You may never recover! If only I could do something to console you. Oh, I know.
/whips out dick
Choke on it.
FUCK YOU, as always, to Bill Simmons. Here, I rewrote your article today so that it was even closer to your own voice:
“When the final seconds ticked down on Super Bowl XLII, I and presumably the rest of Boston had but one thought: REGGIE LEWIS.”
Suck it. No Tom Brady soiree for you, dipshit. Just an awkward conversation with Ufford and big helping of shut the fuck up.
FUCK YOU to Patriot players who invited Giant players to their celebration parties AS THEY WERE GETTING THEIR ASSES HANDED TO THEM DURING THE GAME. Well done, jackasses. No egos in that locker room!
FUCK YOU, Mitt Romney. You're a loser, too.
FUCK YOU to Jim Nantz. Your favorite team lost, you white asshole.
FUCK YOU to Tedi Bruschi, seen here getting the famous “Umenyiora Chaser”.
FUCK YOU to the Pats’ o-line and their playoff beards. Go play hockey or work in Chelsea love dungeon, you hairy-assed fat fucks.
FUCK YOU to Randy Moss. Disappearing in a big game against the Giants? Hey, thanks for the flashback to 2000, you dick. I hope the charges stick this time.
FUCK YOU to the Patriot Way. “Oh, we’re not like other franchises! We’re selfless! We’re all about the team! All we care about is winning! We invented teamwork! No other team has better chemistry! WE HAVE A CULTURE! WE’RE SPECIAL AND WAY BETTER THAN YOU!” Die.
FUCK YOU to all the Pats fans who talked about how getting caught in some malfeasance - cheating, beating up women, taking steroids - only made the team better. "We draw power from our ability to break rules!" Guzzle cock, fucktasters.
FUCK YOU to Matt Walsh. Guess what I taped last night? Me punching your children.
FUCK YOU to the Pats equipment manager. I dunno who you are, but I fucking hate you.
FUCK YOU to Koolaid Maroney. That’s what you get for denying the existence of construda.
FUCK YOU to your Amstel Light. Shit probably tastes great right now, huh?
FUCK YOU to WELKAHHHHH.
FUCK YOU to any children who root for the Patriots. I hope your peers shun you in middle school.
FUCK THIS BABY.
And if there's anyone else I forgot, kindly go and get fucked. You lost. Forever. Enjoy the offseason, you losers.
See? Giants fans embrace their ugly stereotypes. That's why we like them so much more than Patriots fans. That is, at least for another few days, until their gloating gets old and we wish them all dead.
If you're a Giants fan today, you're obviously feeling a joyous amalgam of elation and disbelief. You might also be annoyed that the nut graf of every recap that you've read has said that the Patriots lost first and foremost. While it's fun to twist the knife on the Patriots fans, who are deserving of every iota of grief they incur from this loss forever and always, it's not reflective of the dominating performance put on by the Giants, especially their front four, which bullied and squashed what was exhaustively told to us was the greatest offense of all time.
Manning was the MVP, but Strahan, Tuck, Osi and Robbins were the Measts.
Eli's all growns up. Help us profit from his good fortune, won't you? Click here for this and more.
You wouldn't want Ape to starve during the off season.
Say hello to the Curse of the Bundchen. You know, Arizona is sooooo close to Mexico. Wonder if Brady missed practice for a bit of leisure time in ol' Cabo, eh?
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! All you fackin’ Paytree-ut hatahs out they-ah now must face the facts. THE FACKIN’ PAYTREE-UTS ARE FACKIN’ 19-0!!! HAHAHAHAHA!! And for that, I have only one thing to say...
YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK!
You fuckin’ Yankee faggots always think you’re the best. Well, you know what? THE FACKIN’ PATS WENT UNDEFEATED! Did the Yankees ever do that? HA! I can’t wait to call my buddy Fred, a diehahd Yankee fan. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he realizes the PATS are the fackin’ greatest TEAM evah! I can’t wait to get a fackin’ UNDEFEATED Sawx jersey. Can you imagine how confident the crowd at Fenway will be now? Take that, Yankees! THIS IS FOR FACKIN’ CLAIMIN’ CLEMENS AS YOUR OWN!
Now that the Patriots are 19-0, it’s clear that the Yankees are just a second tier franchise. Fackin’ Hank Steinbrenner, you really think you have the class of Bawb Kraft? FACK YOU! WHY DON’T YOU GO SPOON FEED STRAINED PEAS TO YOUR OLD MAN, SHITBAWX! Hey Hank, I hear your old man just wanders around his house with his bathrobe open and his cawk out, and that he tawks to his hairbrush. WHAT A FACKIN’ LOSAH!!!!
Face it, Yankee fans: The Paytree-uts are now the fackin’ greatest team in history, and they always will be! And you know what that means, you fackin’ Bawston hatahs? That means that your team will nevah, EVAH, be as good as the Pats. Even if your team wins the Super Bowl next year (which I highly doubt because both Tawmmy Brady and the fackin’ smahtest man in the universe Billy Belichick, who my fackin’ fifth cousin once sat near at a Legal Seafoods back in 2003), your team’s championship won’t mean FACKIN’ JACK SHIT!
Suck on that! That’s right. No mattah what you fackin’ do, your team’s success will nevah be as meaningful or as important as ours. You’re just fillin’ out the fackin’ almanac, 2036 Titans! We all know the fackin’ 2007 Pats would fackin’ slap you and your robot players around like I slap around the dirty Sikh who runs the packy store down the blawk. $5.99 far a fackin’ pack of Pahluhmunts? Fack you, ya fackin’ sitar-playin’ fack! DRIVE MY FACKIN’ FAMILY TO LOGAN!
Do you know what makes this Pats victory so fackin’ special? The fact that WE, the fackin’ Red Sawx Nation, took the fackin’ team on our shouldahs. WE FACKIN’ ALL SHARE IN THIS TRIUMPH TOGETHAH! That’s why I’m goin’ all fackin’ out to make sure everyone knows that I, Tommy fackin’ O’Leary, will always be paht of the fackin’ Pats’ JUGGUHNUT!
I’m gonna get a 19-0 shirt. I’m gonna shave 19-0 into my dog’s ass. I’m gettin’ a 19-0 decal on my fackin’ F150. And I’m gonna tattoo UNDEFEATED right on my cawk! I’m gonna use my trust fund money to make my folks redesign their house so it’s in the shape of 19-0. AND EVERY FACKIN’ YEAR UNTIL I DIE, I‘M GONNA DRINK A GALLON OF BOONE’S WHEN THE LAST UNBEATEN TEAM LOSES! AND I’M GONNA TEACH MY ILLEGITIMATE GRANDKIDS TO DO THE SAME!
Fack you, Dolphins! That tradition is ours now! You think you can have traditions? ONLY FACKIN’ BAWSTON CAN HAVE TRADITIONS! We’re the birthplace of tradition, you facks. Stop cawpyin’ us!
And to all you elitist facks who said the Pats cheated, I have only this to say: THAT FACKIN' FAGOOT A-ROD TRIED SLAPPIN' THE BAWL OUTTA MILLAHHHHH'S GLOVE IN THE ALCS! The fackin' Yanks and their slapdick media buddies try to cheat and disrespect Beantown all the fackin' time! So consider this payback, A-Rod, you fackin' son of a housekeepah!
The Pats, like any great team, did what it took to dawminate. Even if that meant tracking the Giants' every move with a discarded Russian spy satellite, or poisoning their team breakfast with ground-up Chinese tinker toys, or sending pizza and hookers to their hotel suites at 4AM last night. That just means they are true champions! They still won won feeehhhh and squeeeehhhh!
So soak it all in, Yankee fans. The Pats are the greatest team to ever play the game. Try and face down Jawsh fackin’ Beckett while you think about that! FACK YOU JETAH YOU FACKIN' AWKTAROON!!!!
YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK!
I liked how Welkaaah was the only one to show aaahp for the Paytreeuts in this game. Nah surprise that the daaawkie Moss let us down when it counts. Can we trade him for Papelbon in the aafseason? Fack, I hate football.
Wow. How does Manning get loose? How the hell does Tyree catch the ball with his freaking helmet? Holy shit, what a game.
video: Awful Announcing
image: reader Chris C.
I like football!
I do! I like it!
And I would play it in a boat.
And I would play it with a goat...
And I will play it in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
It is so good, so good, you see!
So I will play it in a box.
And I will play it with a fox.
And I will play it in a house.
And I will play it with a mouse.
And I will play it here and there.
Say! I will play it ANYWHERE!
I do so like
football!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Dipshit Patriot fans!
supermike4ever commented on Don Shula Will Assign You An Asterisk And You Will Wear It, at 1:38 PM on Nov 7 the Patriots are the best team in football* - supermike4ever commented on Don Shula Will Assign You An Asterisk And You Will Wear It, at 1:01 PM on Nov 7 supermike4ever commented on Britney Spears' "Gimme More," The Video: In Which Our Heroine Takes To The Pole, at 10:08 AM on Oct 5 THIS IS BRITNEY'S SARGENT PEPPER'S!!!!! THIS SONG WILL LIVE IN INFAMY AS THE GREATEST SINGLE MUSICAL COMPOSITION SINCE GARY GLITTERS ROCK AND ROLL 2!! @calmasacucumber: oooooh now you're in trouble. the fact of the matter of fact is this: Brady's NUMBERS could NEVER SUGGEST even a FRACTION of the greatness that exists in Brady's little finger's fingernail's hangnail's dust particle. not that Brady has ever gotten a hangnail. DoucheGate! Pats: Best football team ever.... or best ANYTHING AT ALL ever? Today is going to be a good day. Robert said... Let's make two things perfectly fucking clear: Nobody can question that the fix was on against NE last Sunday - it was just too damn obvious. That may be troublesome to those hoping for 19-0 until they realize the only competition left for NE is, well, ummm, nobody, really. Grrrrr! The angry n---er speaks! Oo-Oo
NEW YORK GIANTS 2/3/2008: NOW I SHOW YOU SOME TRICK OR TWO
Bill Simmons 11/9
For better or worse, that's our mantra for the 2007 season. After the legitimacy of the three Super Bowl titles was questioned, there was only one response: 19-0. The players keep saying they're taking it one game at a time; I say they're full of crap. They want to join the '72 Dolphins and destroy everyone along the way. Why? Because bleep everybody, that's why. After Welker clinched the Colts game with a crucial first-down catch, he defiantly hopped up and screamed at the poor cornerback covering him, "YOU F------ SUCK!" Unquestionably, it was the defining play of the season -- not just that the Patriots converted the exact same situation that killed them last January (when they could have clinched a Super Bowl trip with one more completion on third-and-short), but that Welker displayed such arrogant disdain after finishing the Colts off.
Only two years ago, I wrote that the Colts would be crazy for pursuing an undefeated season and risking injuries when the only thing that mattered was a Super Bowl title. Now? I guess I'm a hypocrite. If you asked any Patriots fan to pick between two doors that determined the rest of the season -- behind Door No. 1, the team would lose once but have a 100 percent chance to win the Super Bowl, and behind Door No. 2, there would be two-in-three chance at a 19-0 season or a one-in-three chance that the team would lose in the playoffs -- a surprising number of fans would roll the dice with that second door. Including me.
BY SUPERMIKE4EVER AT 10/23/07 11:24 AM
PREVIOUS SSW
Taking out Tom Brady's legs is the only way to save this season from certain Pats 19-0 domination.
NEW SSW
Just sit back and try to enjoy it, it'll hurt less.
-
-
* ever
BY SUPERMIKE4EVER AT 01/15/08 06:56 PM
Robert said...
Interesting fact that I'm sure you will appreciate, ape. Did you know that the ape is considered the smartest non humanoid on earth?
Thought you would like that, you witless moron.
19-0, baby. Eat those bananas.
It’s over, you bandwagon Massengill sluts. Let's see you print some T-shirts for this shit. The Greatest Choke Job of ALL-TIME. Not like it matters. No one is ever going to let you forget.
