Bumptious Boy Billionaire vs. Twisted Leatherfaced Plutocrat. WHO YA GOT?
The Redskins and Cowboys renew their historic rivalry in what a few weeks ago looked to be a compelling contest, but now appears to be an event that may not help Unsilent Majority in this moment of great blockage. The free agent era having eroded any sense of continuity in the league, the only enduring faces we've left with are those in the owner's box. And these two teams are stewarded by the most megalomaniacal men in the country who don't hold public office. If it weren't for these guys, it'd only be Redskins and Cowboys fans who'd make the teams unlikable. So, WHO YA GOT?
Contestants
Dan Snyder_____________Jerry Jones
Bought team in
1999___________________1989
Franchise record since taking over (incld. postseason)
66-75, two playoff victories________171-135, three Super Bowl titles
Lapdog
Vinny Cerrato______________Wade Phillips
Obvious descriptors
Napoleonic short knocker___________Criminally insane, but tensile
Fictional likeness
Charles Foster Kane, minus three feet___George Nelson from "O Brother Where Art Thou"
Dislikes
The media, trees on his property____________The boundaries of reason
Pals around with
Tom Cruise____Saudi ambassador Prince Bandar bin Sultan ("Bandar Bush")
When feeling blue
Awards 6-year contract to faded veteran_____Tittyfucks Wade
Finishing move
Raising ticket, parking lot prices___YYYEEEHHAWWW I AM FUCKING CRAZY
Dan Snyder_____________Jerry Jones
Bought team in
1999___________________1989
Franchise record since taking over (incld. postseason)
66-75, two playoff victories________171-135, three Super Bowl titles
Lapdog
Vinny Cerrato______________Wade Phillips
Obvious descriptors
Napoleonic short knocker___________Criminally insane, but tensile
Fictional likeness
Charles Foster Kane, minus three feet___George Nelson from "O Brother Where Art Thou"
Dislikes
The media, trees on his property____________The boundaries of reason
Pals around with
Tom Cruise____Saudi ambassador Prince Bandar bin Sultan ("Bandar Bush")
When feeling blue
Awards 6-year contract to faded veteran_____Tittyfucks Wade
Finishing move
Raising ticket, parking lot prices___YYYEEEHHAWWW I AM FUCKING CRAZY
10 comments:
If Snyder can find a way to get Yakko, Wakko, and Dot on the field; they can really disrupt Romo's timing.
Double-J by three TD's.
you always gotta go with tittyfucking, unless theyre your tits
I'm still on the fence. Can this be decided by some sort of push-up contest?
This isn't even close, a rich Texan trumps everything short of Kristen Bell. How else did you think George Bush got back into office?
diebold?
This is like choosing between being stabbed to death with a screwdriver or being stabbed to death with a different screwdriver.
pemulis @12:15 - Indeed.
Following that logic, and seeing as how I am decidedly not Wade Phillips, Dallas wins by a hell of a lot.
I agree with BDD.
Quiet!!! The Danny is trying to figure out how he can sign Jevon Kearse to a 6-year $123 million deal.
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