Props Aren't Just For Hackish Comedians

Welcome to a special Super Bowl Bye Week edition of Always Be Covering. Since we can't bet on any games this week, we might as well take an early look at the all-important Super Bowl props.

Did you know that it's illegal in New Jersey to serve a burger at any temperature south of medium? GAY! Give me rare or give me death, I always say.


Coin toss: Tails -105 vs. Heads

Fifty percent of the time, it works every time. This is quite possibly the best bet of the week.


Coin toss winner: New York -105 vs. New England -105

In the five Super Bowls won by New England and New York the eventual winner was the team that lost the coin toss. It's science, people!


Team with longest kick return: New York -155 vs. New England +125

Is Domenik Hixon fast?
Yes.
Could his parents spell retard?
Only if you spot them the "retar-"
Does any of this matter?
Just the first part.


Team to score first: New York +160 vs. New England -200

Sure, why the fuck not. I'm going to go ahead and call it as a 32 yard field goal by Lawrence Tynes.

The bonus to the above bets is that you could potentially lock all of them up within the game's first possession, leaving you with a large sum of money to bet on the remainder of the game. Plus it's a way to bet on the Giants without actually betting on the Giants!


Big Payday of the Week

Super Bowl MVP: Asante Samuel 15:1

Brady is the obvious favorite, but his payout doesn't really make it worth the investment. Moss and WelKAH! may tempt some at 4:1 and 5:1 respectively, but imagine what they'd have to do to wrest the award away from the Dreamboat. That's why I'm going to the defensive side. Well, that and Elisha of course. Sure, the mealy-mouthed little brother has been pretty fucking impressive in recent weeks, but I think we all know that he's going to crack under the pressure like a wayward Mormon in Vegas.


Special Non-Football Pick of the Week

Australian Open Women's Final: Ana Ivanovic vs. Maria Sharapova...

The Winner: Your Throbbing Erection!

Have a restful weekend, apparently there's something big on the horizon. Now I'm going to go erase the image of our readership's collective phallus with heavy doses of grain alcohol.


P.S. I think I just spoiled next week's pick.

P.P.S. Buy a fucking t-shirt, Punter worked hard on ass kicking logo!

KSK Programming Note: Ladies... Invade Tomorrow

Most of you remember the bet that I conned the rest of the fellas into taking with the ladies over at, um, Ladies..., even though it doesn't seem like college basketball ended just last week. We lost, and so we had to pick a day when they could come over and get their cooties all over our shit (because girls are icky!).

Tomorrow is the day we put the toilet seat down.

All we know is that Holly is sending us two posts on their behalf, and we will be running them here shortly after we receive them. We can only imagine the lascivious liberties that will be taken with subject matter, word economy, and visual imagery, but I know they've collectively spent a fair amount of time getting their work together. I honestly have no other clue of what to expect.

As a faithful (and perhaps tomorrow, fateful) reader of KSK, we are recommending you exercise one of two options:

(a) Pretend the Blogger hamster has Wednesday off, or
(b) Do your part to keep the testosterone levels healthy tomorrow and comment on what you find in this space tomorrow.

You'll not only be representing KSK tomorrow if you select option (b), you'll be be representing all men around the world. Every man that ever had to resist squeezing his secretary's ass, every man that refused to blast his load into an unconscious coed, and every man that helped build a pro football stadium with more women's restrooms than men's restrooms will turn his eyes to you, in a last bastion of hope.

You guys, those of you that choose to weather the storm, will be the men of the house tomorrow. And while we would be remiss to dictate how you wield this authority of sorts, we'd hope that those posting tomorrow would not escape the rational scrutiny and criticism that we six have come to expect of you. At no other time will your service be more appreciated, or more crucial.

Make us proud.