They're calling it a preview of the Super Bowl, but this match-up between New England and Dallas really is an intercontinental maritime quarterback showdown the likes of which never before seen. It's bound to be the most excessively hyped regular season game of the year, at least until the Pats play the Colts. The winner will be showered with golden praise. The loser will be taunted and booed and fellated until PK's throat is sore. WHO YA GOT?
Contestants
Tom Brady____________Tony Romo
Annoying first mate
Bill Simmons__________________Peter King
El Capitans
Bob Kraft and Bill Belichick_________________Wade and Jerry
Crew members
Needy children__________________Needy Mexicans
Cum dumpsters
Gisele/Bridget Moynahan_________Carrie Underwood/Jessica Simpson
Bounty
$30 and rising_________________Treasure of the Sierra Madre
Endorsements
Stetson____________________Diet Pepsi Max
Favorable conditions
Playing Cowboys defense____________Hispanic Heritage Month
Abiding wisdom
Player's Guide______________Parcells' 11 Commandments
Occasionally humorous YouTube devotee
Fitzy_________________________Halen88
Finishing Move
Destroying family values____________Not speaking American!
I'll take Fitzy over Halen
ReplyDeleteHe's certainly no Halen84
ReplyDeletewhat about bradyfan83?
ReplyDeletehttp://youtube.com/watch?v=9ufwukWgKfI
(i promise it's not retarded people talking about being werewolves or wearing dresses...... or do i?)
Wade and Jerry are much funnier than Bill and Bob.
ReplyDeleteTony "Caliente" Romo any day of the week baby.
Dream Bank? Sorry Ape, my latin roots disapprove of your error. (I will now go fuck off)
ReplyDeleteIt's "barco", you ass clowns.
ReplyDeleteI only speak American.
ReplyDeleteSt. Patrick's Day vs Cinoc de Mayo ?
ReplyDeleteSam Adams vs Negra Modelo
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNot that I care, but it's 12:30pm and much like a St. Louis University parking lot (at least once a year) a Prelude seems to have gone missing.
ReplyDeleteTime to reread the hilarious, and timely, Jamboroo again
The Stetson ad alone disqualifies Dreamboat. Did anybody else here know they made Stetson after 1987?
ReplyDeleteCum dumpsters is a category I can honestly say I did not expect.
ReplyDeleteI'll take Tom's though.
I'd rather ride on el Barco de Sueno, preferably on rough seas. Oh yesssss....
ReplyDeleteWhen will KSK dub Romo the Sex-Mex Cannon ?
ReplyDeletestickout ears vs. the Butt-Chin
ReplyDeleteNot since the Monitor vs the Merrimac hav we had a battle on the high seas like this.
ReplyDeleteYou mean the Tex-Mex Sex Cannon?
ReplyDeleteSounds like bulger in my pants wants to have some of that gunslinger in her.
Hmmm...
@J4B, that would also work and I think you meant to type cumslinger.
ReplyDeleteFitzy?? Did someone say delicious crackers?
ReplyDeletelegal v. illegal
ReplyDeletei can has cheerleader post?
ReplyDeleteAin't this kind of a lesser of two evils kind of thing? I mean, who do we want to keep hearing more of? How the Pats are such an in-fucking-credible winning machine or how un-fucking-believably Romo resembles a young Favre and wills his team to win?
ReplyDeleteFuck, I hope it ends in a tie. And both Brady and Romo get sidelined with broken legs/arms/pelvis.
Sounds like bulger in my pants wants to have some of that gunslinger in her.
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE CORRECT