Our man Dan V. comes through with another kickass photoshop-- this one imagining what Pacman Jones’ wrestling debut on Thursday might look like. There have been rumblings that any wrestling on Pac’s part could violate his NFL contract. But Jones may figure that his bridges with the Titans are burned anyway, so he might as well cash a few checks before he moves into the crossbar hotel.
We can only wait and see if Pac actually makes it rain at his matches. However, in doing so, he would be edging dangerously close to infringing on the greatest wrestling gimmick of all time. One thing wrestlers don’t tolerate in their business is gimmick thieves. And who can blame them-- drug addicts, spouse abusers, habitual criminals and serial killers are one thing, but gimmick thievery is a serious offense. [Update: reader Barry sends in this link to my favorite Million Dollar Man interview.]
The man in a wheelchair because of Jones’ alleged lawlessness is named Tommy Urbanski. Apparently, Urbanski was once “enhancement talent” (think perennial losers like Brooklyn Brawler or Special Delivery Jones) in the then-WWF. So now Jones is parlaying the notoriety obtained in Urbanski’s shooting into the career that Urbanski craved, but, presumably, couldn’t make it in. Wow. Urbanski must really hate Jones now. Here’s hoping that TNA money winds up in the pockets of Urbanski and the rest of the people Jones has crapped on in his life.
I was always a fan of Brutus the Barber Beefcake's gimmick. Unfortunately Pacman already cut the locks.
ReplyDelete...and everybody's gotta pay.
ReplyDelete(mon-ey, mon-ey, mon-ey, mon-ey, mon-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey,)
wv: ddrmm
Dance Dance Revolution Meow Mix
That's definitely better than the photoshop I did. Damn that Dan V. is good.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I had to click the link to realize flubby was talking about Ted DiBiase. He was friggin awesome.
ReplyDeletePacman could do a take off the early nWo - instead of beating a guy with a chair and then spraypainting nWo on his back, he could draw a rain cloud instead. Or just take a piss on him.
He could kill his wife, smother his son and... oh that gimmick is already taken? My bad.
ReplyDeleteHe could always pick up where the Gobbledee Gooker left
@coletrain
ReplyDeleteSee, then he'd just be ripping off Greg Maddux. Or is it different if you pee out of hate?
when I think of "jobbers" I think of Johnny K-9 and "the unpredictable" Johnny Rodz. the Brooklyn Brawler and S.D. Jones were also legnedary jobbers.
ReplyDeleteGreat Jobbers eh?
ReplyDeleteYou simply can't have a conversation about jobbers and forget Barry Horowitz or Iron Mike Sharpe
good call on Barry Horowitz and Iron Mike Sharpe. I would also add Rene Goulet to that list of great jobbers.
ReplyDeleteIf PacMan really wants to set off his wrestling career, than he will select the Temptations' 1968 classic "I Wish It Would Rain" as his entrance music.
ReplyDeleteThe best Ted DiBiase gimmick was when he would pull some poor WT girl out of the audience and give her $100 to crawl around on hands and knees and bark like a dog in the ring. Nothing like good old fashioned public humiliation!
ReplyDeletebreaking news, quinn officially a brown, unofficially a giant queen
ReplyDeletehttp://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/trainingcamp07/news/story?id=2964653
pac man will never be fit to wear the million dollar belt.
ReplyDeleteclicky
my personal hope is that pacman will wrestle Doink the Clown
ReplyDeleteBarry Horowitz wasn't a jobber! He was the greatest Jew wrestler off all time and Vince McMahon couldn't handle it!
ReplyDelete/vigorously patting self on back
ReplyDeletewho can forget the best known jobber of all time (and in my opinion a closet homosexual):
ReplyDeleteAl Snow
Who can forget Bad News Brown and the ever-popular "Ghetto Blaster" finishing move.
ReplyDeleteAhhh... that Vince McMahon... always finding ways to reinforce the stereotypes.
I remember when Eddie Guerrero stole Brian Pillman's famous "dying in a hotel room" gimmick... that did NOT go over well
ReplyDeleteWho is Howie Feltersnatch and when did he go all Single White Female on me?
ReplyDeleteotto- I was thinking the same thing.
ReplyDelete/creepy music
Pacman's debut is going to be golden. Over at Construda, we're going to make sure we watch this crap. It will HAVE to be good.
ReplyDeleteWe speculated yesterday as to what his ring names will be.
http://construda.blogspot.com/search/label/Pacman%20Jones
By the way, KSK, you're our inspiration.
@UM, I disagree. Bill Goldberg is the greatest Jewish pro wrestler of all time.
ReplyDeleteAnd best Jewish football player, since I refuse to admit Jay Fiedler ever started.
ReplyDeleteAnd how has this comment thread gotten this far without mention of Pacman's obvious choice for manager, The Fabulous Moolah (played by Fabolous)?
I can't decide what is more embarrassing my college football team (Alabama 92,000 at a scrimmage and an unpunished drug bust) or my pro football team (Titans, with their stripper beating, pro rasslin', pot head corner back).
ReplyDeletenow THAT's what I call photoshopping!
ReplyDeletethere's a new TMQ column up, as I'm sure you're all aware. it's so tired, I think it may be either self-parody, or beyond parody, but it's still worth another try. godspeed.
oh man, that photoshop is brilliantly spit diet coke all over keyboard in laughter worthy!
ReplyDelete