Nope, we've go absolutely nothin' we're not the least bit ashamed to admit it. That's why this morning instead of bringing you a creative and original material (not bloody likely) or some more prekkake we thought we'd mix it up a bit.
If you're anything like us you probably lay awake at night imagining your favorite video games as epic feature films (next summer, Tobey Maguire is Paperboy!). Well the Hollywood brain trust has woken up to the fact that our classic video games offer an untapped resource from which to steal their ideas. Forget about Super Mario, Lara Croft, that Milla Jovovich bitch. We want to see the real classics! I want Rose McGowan to play the titular role in Frogger: Hopping Mad and I want Shia Labeouf to actually contract dysentery while filming Oregon Trail.
Well now we've finally gotten that breakthrough we've all craved for so long. Enjoy the brilliance that is, Minesweeper: The Movie. Hey, it worked for Schindler's List (née Wolfenstein 3-D).
And if BDD asks, just tell him we talked about football and sodomy all week.
via College Humor
What about Ving Rhames as Agua in the big screen version of "Bases Loaded?"
ReplyDeleteOr Jake Gyllenhaal as Little Mac in "Mike Tyson's Punch Out?"
I got mind control over Big Daddy Drew. He be like "shut the fuck up." I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talking again.
ReplyDeleteContinuing with Carter's Punch-Out idea.
ReplyDeleteJesse Ventura: Soda Popinski
Ving Rhames (with a wig): Sandman
Charles Barkley: Bald Bull
Rosie O'Donnell (bald): King Hippo
I think the time is right for Brendan Fraser to make his long-awaited and triumphant return to American cinema with Freecell: The Motion Picture.
ReplyDeleteI can see this being bigger than the Star Wars franchise.
Seriously.
Hi, I'm Gary Busey. I'm often angry and aggressive in times that don't call for it. (Stewie Griffin)
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone else think Busey looks like a skeleton with saggy skin? Or like Nick Nolte's ebola-infested younger brother?
matt damon and ben affleck star in.....CONTRA!!!
ReplyDeleteup, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, select, start motherfucker!!!
Chris Klein and Chris Evans star in "Excitebike".
ReplyDeletewill there be kkake of any sort today?
ReplyDeletealso, how about bob hoskins and john leguizamo as.... oh...
Ben Affleck as Pete
ReplyDeleteCuba Gooding Jr. as Hank
John Goodman as Ruth
in
Baseball Stars: American Dreams
Carl Weathers is Elevator Action Jackson
ReplyDeleteDorsey, you are missing a "B" and an "A"
ReplyDeleteRob Schneider in this year's most delectable comedy.
ReplyDeleteBurger Time
Hey, you're not fucking off on teh football posts...those dudes had eye-black!
ReplyDeleteDick Cheney and any innocent bystander starring in "Duck Hunt."
ReplyDeleteLuke Wilson and Rene Zellweger in Ms. Pacman Act 1: The Chase
ReplyDeletehere's one for another arcade classic
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWL6j0SvqV0
Hugh Jackman in "Castlevania" I think would go over well as long as he can work a chain as well as he could use a crossbow.
ReplyDelete@Dr. Mexico
ReplyDeleteWhat a horrible night for a curse!
Busey then asked Flubby if he could paint him
ReplyDeleteThe stupid video isnt showing!
ReplyDeleteI recommend... feather touch
ReplyDeleteYou have selected... power drive
Orlando Bloom in "Zelda: The Legend Returns"? I'm only thinking of the Lord of the Rings ears though.
Sir Anthony Hopkins and Dame Judy Dench in: Pong
ReplyDeleteI was going to go with "Anna Kournikova is... PONG" but Dame Judy is a good choice too.
ReplyDeletetruth is, I still feel stupider every time I've watched anything with the CollegeHumor seal of approval. I actually met one of the guys who founded that site, once. he was a dick.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletebut for the record, I'm going with scarlett johannson as judo expert blaze fielding, in 'streets of rage.'
ReplyDeletegenesis owners know what I'm talking about. it'd be a chance to watch that gal in action. lots of action:
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/sexual-games/pics/sor3-2.gif
additionally, I feel very dirty now.
In a bizarre turn of events, I posted the same video on my blog today with a reference to "Shindler's List"..what the fuck are the odds of that? Probably about the same as those of the poor, poor Jews in that movie.
ReplyDelete