Welp, Looks Like SI Found a Replacement for Rick Reilly
Guhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
A love letter to Brett Favre. Because what else would it be?
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
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26 comments:
"I might tell a story about his dead-on imitation of Billy Bob Thornton's character in Sling Blade . . . "
I always assumed Billy Bob modeled his character after Favre.
I love the photo caption:
"Over the years King (left) has gotten to know the other side of Brett Favre."
Too easy.
Reading that article seriously made me feel like a total homo.
She only asked for one thing - to have her picture taken with Brett and me.
Because like all little girls, she dreamed of growing up one day to marry the star quarterback, or the fat, middle-aged sportswriter.
"It's for your cock" he whispered sweetly
Oh My God. I think PK thinks he and Favre actually dated for a while there.
And at that moment I realized, that little girl, was me.
PK is such a tool.
They got a kick out of Brett's ordering the sliced ostrich, along with tenderloin of Texas antelope.
Reading that in King's soy-mocchiato voice is hysterical to me for some reason.
Well, that was terrifying.
I kept reading that waiting for the "and the time he totally wrecked me by that lake on Naboo" line.
Is anyone else terrified that he remembers PRECISELY what Favre ordered for dinner ten years ago?
What King doesn't tell you is that Brittany Favre, now 19, runs in the same circles as the Reid children.
@ CC
Exactly. Anyone who didn't jerk nightly to #4 would just say "He ate antelope". And only because it fits with the story. The "sliced" and "Texas" adjectives are just flat out fucking creepy.
Granted, PK's a huge tool... but having a man-crush on the best QB in the history of the league, who also happens to be a great human being, does not a ghey make.
Either that, or I'm as gay as a bag of dicks.
@ pain-ther fan:
Still laughing at that one.
Wilbon says: I'm not surprised that PK can readily provide a 9-year-old girl upon request.
crazy little thing- I'm sure the caption editor knew exactly what he was doing when he wrote that
PK: Get over here and get out of those Levi's
BF: There Wranglers!
PK: Oh whatever you crazy, handsome, fool
BF: There Wranglers dammit!
PK: Ok, don't angry Farvy
BF: I am an everyday American, I like to play football in the backyard and wear my Wranglers. I thought you would know that after spending so much time staring at my ass dammit!
As we speak, John Madden is crafting Favre a big red heart from construction paper.
31-24, Brett Favre. Never forget.
Good point, Herc. Brooke should have given him a lucky Vicodin instead.
My WV was wsdidhg...my first thought was:
Wimpy Sportswriter DID Hot Guy
Then I forgot what I was going to say in the first place
Anyone else get the feeling PK may have just straight-up fabricated this shit?
""Tell Brooke sorry," he said with a wry smile. "I guess it wasn't very lucky for me today."" ???
One thing I think he thinks: I think Peter King thinks he's writing the last great American novel or something. The above comes from a scene where, having killed countless enemies using only his tough-but-gentle hands, Favre lies on the ground, mortally wounded. Romo, Brady and Brees, the 3 remaining FIVE QUARTERBACKS (Manning already died in a scene exactly identical to this one) are already lost from view, fighting more enemies on a neutral field in Wichita, Kansas (the only non-NFL city Peter can name). Despite Peter's frantic mouth-to-penis resuscitation, Favre is fading fast. "Tell Brooke...sorry", Brett says, his voice raspy and his load sticky. Peter drinks 8 or 13 $6 coffees to get it all out of his mouth, and then becomes the first person ever to fly on a plane next to a crying baby! (Aggravating!)
I think the creepiest part is that he clearly kept the penny in his sock drawer (or worse!) for the past ten years.
PK: "Hey Brett, nice game."
BF: "Thanks Pete; nice gunt."
Jebus, I could discern the man love from the first paragraph. The whole column might as well have been this:
PK: Me love you long time... ZIP, SLURP...
I don't think Favre's parents love him that much.
...and Stephen A thinks KSK is unqualified to publish...
holy shit, Pete - take a look at what you just wrote, and ask yourself this question: "I wonder if Brett noticed that my press pass was hanging over Mr. MiniFarve... I hope he knows it was for him."
for your sake, Peter, I hope he did.
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