Stand Aside and Gape; Here Comes the Ruckus
This here website is Kissing Suzy Kolber. The posse here -- Big Daddy Drew, Captain Caveman, Footsteps Falco, Monday Morning Punter, and Unsilent Majority -- is dedicated to kicking ass and making NFL-related jokes.
That's the long and short of it. There will be no analysis. Any mention of statistics to prove that a certain team is "better" than another will be countered with stats like this: 98% of assholes use stats to make a pointless argument. The only thing that we offer is the funny. Bring the funny or get the fuck out, that's our motto. Or at least it might be. It hasn't been ratified yet.
"Kissing Suzy Kolber." It feels good on your tongue, does it not?
Coming soon: What teams will be funny in 2006? KSK previews all 31 pro teams, plus the Texans.
At last our long national unfunny dream is over. Good morning, bitches. It's time to wake up and laugh at the NFL.
86 comments:
Oh, and you won't find any of us lurking in the comment section. Because pumping up your own comment count is totally gay. Just like Terrell Owens.
Hey fack you buddy.
Sweet fancy moses, am I excited.
Considering CC's attitude about the homeless, would you have advocated euthanizing the Saints last year?
Looking forward to some fun in the NoFunLeague.
"I couldn't care less about the team struggling."
WOW, the Deadspin all-star commenter cast came together. You definitely have a reader here.
A Deadspin spinoff? Lets hope its better than "AfterMASH."
rsr26
it's like joanie loves chachi..
Good name! Ad Guy Who Names Things For A Living approved.
You're with me, new favorite NFL blog.
No masthead photo of drunk Joe Namath?
Clearly you guys are too cool to be messing around down here with us plebes....especially those of us who can only admire your witty deadspin banter sans invite.
I expect similar quality here. Keep it up.
I'm also willing to bet that at least 2 posters did web searches for "bad TV spinoffs" to come up with comments.
I have a feeling this will be better than the Michael Richards Show.
This is like when Launchpad left Duckberg to work with Darkwing Duck. Only the awesomeness is multiplied by 5.
Your welcome chiswede
I dunno if this site is applicable for the bad spin-off comparison. It's more of a Curb Your Enthusiasm thing, behind-the-scenes guys going out on their own.
sorry, three posters.
totally freaking psyched for this. I've been lurking in the deadspin comments for a year now and could not be more pleased to have something else to make me laugh out loud in class. bring on the random Eli Manning lap dance sightings.
I'm still waiting for a blog dedicated strictly to football based on a simulated season of Madden. Injury updates, scores, live blogs, whole nine yards. Can I expect something like this here? I wouldn't expect anything less.
No doubt this blog will have the sex appeal of John Clayton.
(Shudder)
Despite that, you're in my RSS reader now. Don't let me down.
--Suss
This is not what I am used to.
So how long till you get mentioned by Billy Simmons?
Sniff. And to think I was there when the idea was first broached on CC's blog.
Question: Will this in any way impact the quality/quantity of your collective posts on Deadspin? You don't want to disappoint all of us Deadspin-lurkers, do you? DO YOU?
This is like a spinoff of Entourage, except starring Turtle.
Hey, Yankees fans looooove Entourage, right CC??
Dweeze: you are a witness to history. In a way, we owe this blog to an insane Brazilian woman.
Bring it on, guys. This will be good. Granted, it's 800 degrees in my apartment right now, so I'm not in a real NFL state of mind, but I'll have my game face on when the time comes.
oh good. something else to look at when i should be working. i'll go ahead and book mark you. i just hope you update more than i do on my livejournal.
and before you make fun of me, yes, i concede that i am a 12 year old girl for having a livejournal.
dwight, i will not be going anywhere. the fact that you have taken on such a name (and even phrased questions like the man himself) makes me think that you will make an excellent commenter.
Looking forward to this..
Ha! He actually said AfterMASH.
Longtime lurker, first time poster.
Deadspin Wolfpac? Will CC turn on UM & rejoin Deadspin Hollywood for the $? Hopefully, this will have a longer life than that crap did.
Good luck with this thing. I've always enjoyed the majority of your collective comments on Deadspin.
Does this make you guys the "JT the Brick" to Will Leitchs Jim Rome?
A spinoff! Deadspin has officially jumped the shark.
Good luck, lads. Even if you didn't write another post, I'd probably still visit here once a week just to watch that video.
Have fun.
TO is not gay...he's just misunderstood and confused.
You guys are so linked from my blog.
Yes...but can you make Joe Namath sober?
I will be expecting various and sundry Michael Strahan entries very soon. Good luck, gentlemen.
blaaaaahhhh, I don't even care about the stats. All I know is I just wanna kiss you right now...
Yaaaaayyyy!!!
Oh boy, am I happy. College football is my drug of choice, but this may actually make me care about the NFL.
So essentially, this will be the commentary B-League (or perhaps more likely, the Local Rec Softball League) for all of us lurkers who are not a) cool or b) savvy enough to get Deadspin invites?
-or to put more simply-
KSK Bloggers = Family Matters to Deadspin’s Perfect Strangeres (i.e. spin-off that’s just as good)
KSK Commenters = Enos LAPD to Deadspin’s Dukes of Hazzard (i.e. not so good)
Also, to CC- Go Seahawks (or Sea-Turkeys as I will always affectionately call them).
I thought you guys were creating a fantasy football league, not a blog. At any rate, this will probably be funnier than a rundown of your draft, anyway.
Wow. A blog devoted to humor in the NFL that so far has zero humor. Better bring the funny soon.
I actually hail from a major producer and exporter of football-funny. You may know it as Minnesota.
So, I'm excited to read/lurk/JV comment your site.
You're with me, un-moderated comments section
Not caring is a kind of caring, right?
fridge=wit,class
cumby=logic,dorkisms
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag1XFqF2Ky4
As a Texan season ticket holder I’m really looking forward to this – not in a Christmas morning sort of way, but in a first dose of penicillin or Famvir sort of way.
I was going to start a blog called "Boning Linda Cohn" but you guys stole my thunder.
Looking forward to it. I'll be linking it up on the MSD (where, I pull a lot of T.O.s).
Cheers!
okay, i made it across the chasm and clicked on this link. i'm ready for the funny... [checking my watch]
Visiting among your commenters occasionally is not lurking, not gay, not inflating your comment count, it's polite and engaging and encourages new readers.
Now that that's out of the way, bring on your 31 pro teams plus the Texans. I'm excited.
So, where are the pics of Suzy Kolber?
"i couldn't care less about the team straggalling"
Nice! Looking forward to checking this out every 12.7 minutes (i.e. the interval at which I tire of working).
I, too, want to kiss Suzy Kolber.
Congrats and good luck on the new blog as it will offer plenty of original witticisms for me to further waste my day.
And I'll echo the thoughts of others as this will allow us sans invites to comment.
Good God, what's that smell? Ohhh, right, a hell of a lot of testosterone. I like it. Yes I do.
You're with me, B-Team.
Sorry, I've just been jealous of deadspin commentors for months now.
I expect wit, literary references and photographic evidence.
Roll on!
Add an RSS feed or something. And don't let just anyone comment
~my 2 cents
I don't have to really Kiss Suzy Kolber to read the site, do I?
Stupid Blogger fields.
'Tis I, TheStarterWife, who does not want to kiss Suzy.
From a longtime Deadspin lurker, I'm looking forward to reading the blog guys.
One more thing, I covet you UM.
god i pray anonymous doesn't have external genetalia
Please, just leave poor J.P. Losman out of all this. Bills fans have suffered enough.
I've already bookmarked Deadspin Jr.
we aren't deadspin, they have "sources" and "editors"
we have punch and pie
nThe puch is spiked though, right?
Good God, what's that smell? Ohhh, right, a hell of a lot of testosterone.
Siobhan: That's the smell of desire, m'lady.
AWE-SOME. Saves me some time hitting up Google to find a football blog to read.
a blog by the Deadspin all star commenters? sweet
screw you guys i'm going home
Big Cluckin Chicken.
-Christ Sabo
It's hilarious to see this video again and again, thank you for making this your name and founding post. Namath speaks with the honesty of a 7th grader who has just imbibed his first three wine coolers.
Good luck guys.
Where's the fucking scotch?
Your pal,
Joe #12
struggaling
I hope the Black President will be well represented this upcoming year, even though he is in no way affiliated with the Miami police department.
bone, we do football 'round here
besides, the prez is busy filling out the paperwork to pardon his teamate.
FREE AWVEE!
Mocking the Texans. Not fair. But a great start.
This is just great. Just when I had my daily sports blog consumption at a healthy three, you have to go and start this. I'm completely screwed. Thanks guys, seriously.
I don't UM.
hooray!
Longtime Deadspin lurker - even though baseball is my preferred worktime hoover I look forward to spending my hungover mornings on your blog. Best of luck!
The craziest part of that video clip is that the Jets actually got a first down.
Anon: No, the craziest part is the outrageous claim that Pennington is actually any good.
Were we to understand there'd be punch and pie?
First post, 101 comments. You guys were finger lickin' good from the start.
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