Major Dad vs. Lt. Eckhardt. WHO YA GOT?

It may not mean much in the grand scheme of the league, this meeting of the 2-4s, but it does mark the first showdown between Andy Reid and his former coordinator, Brad Childress. And it may be the last. They were once allies, now they're - well, they're not really bitter foes. But they have embittered the fans of their respective teams. Let the bad blood flow while they still have jobs. WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Brad Childress_______________Andy Reid

Sobriquet

Bald Clueless _______________Fatty Lumpkins

Mustache dye color

Auburn___________Honey mustard sauce

Secret weapon

Purple Jesus_________The best white receiver who isn't Wes Welker

Preferred weapon

Shitty quarterback________________Whiny quarterback

Innovations

Keeping best player on bench___________McDonald's as a pizza topping

Shameful admission

Outshined by Mike Tice_____________Has sons dumber than Mike Tice

Weakness

Passing on 3rd and short _____________Bacolate and scrapple

Finishing move

Three and out____________Finishing move? Wait, so you're not finishing that?


Note: Reader Michael D. insists that Michael Jeter's version of Mr. Noodle is a better Brad Childress doppelganger. You be the judge.

Credit to Welcome to Tardville for the Reid pic.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

It's like being tied to a chair and forced to watch your girlfriend fuck Jimmy Fallon.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckkity fuck.