As We Proceed... (Who Shot Ya?) ...To Give You What You Need

Late last week, Redskins first-round pick LaRon "The Ron" Landry was paintballed in the groin in an apparent team-building activity with fellow members of the first-team defense. We KSKers prefer not to "build" "teams". It's ever so droll, that. However, the busting of balls concept does hold some promise.

We choose to ignore for the moment the obvious Han Moleman/George C. Scott joke, as we're more curious as to who fired to offending shot, a fact that the AP article helpfully elides over. An abbreviated list of present suspects:

Tito Puente
Not actually Adam Archuleta, but someone who makes a lot of tired Adam Archuleta jokes
The Maj
Renaldo Wynn
Shitsy Spitsy
GG Allin
California Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer
Keith Hernandez
Nerds
Falco
Gabe Ruth
Hobos
Otto Man
One of those damn lolcats
Ron Paul

Any help would be much appreciated. We'd hate for the Redskins to have an excuse for sucking.

Image courtesy of flubby, who celebrated his first Father's Day as a dad yesterday...by ignoring his kid and designing MS Paint images.