I hope she wasn't getting muddied by the whole damn crew

You're all a bunch of whiny assholes who just have to complain about the poor girl's ocular lopsidedness. Since I'm such a nice fucking guy here are some hot lesbo videos of Sarah Shahi. Keep it in your pants if you live in Carl Monday's area code.





While the gaylords over at the four letter are spending all of their free time poring over the film of this years incoming rookie class we've been researching the real heroes, the cheerleaders. Each spring/summer a new crop of big titted, small waisted, roundassed lovelies jiggle their way into our collective consciousness. But who are they? Where did they come from? What kind of shampoo do they use? These are the pressing questions on the mind of every football fan alive yet they remain unanswered. Let's right that wrong, shall we?

Without further ado I give you, Better Know a Your New Eye Candy. Today's subject is the lovely Ashley White, a new acquisition of the already stout Miami Dolphin squad.

Yeah, that's the good shit.

Ashley is a delightfully bouncy 22 year-old who makes up for her advanced age with a pedigree that could make your average untested 18 year-old quake in her spankies (take a moment to picture that and join me in the next sentence at your own leisure). After leaving the fertile breeding ground of Georgia the doe-eyed sexpot went where all doe-eyed sexpots go to cheer, tan, and fuck large men dwelling on the seventh floor. That's right. Little Miss innocent got her start at the U where she cheered, attended classes, and serviced the the baseball team's infield (may not be "true").

After a fulfilling stint in Coral Gables Ashley did what any smoking hot chick in southern Florida with no job and a fear of old guy balls would do.

"Look at me Ma, I'm a weekend weather girl at a generic regional affiliate!"

So yeah, she did the meteorology thing for a while, then she did the meteorolgist. It's a tradition as old as weather itself, beautiful yet completely sickening.


"Look at me Pa, I look like a schmuck and I'm probably a total pussy but I landed that ass!"

Apparently the life as a meteorologist's arm candy didn't manage to fulfill all of Ashley's needs (Ashley, if you've still got some "needs" fulfilled you know where to find me). Now that she's reached the pinnacle of human existence I fully expect to see her dump that douchey husband of hers and get with a real man of Miami. I'm thinking Lt. Winslow might be up to the task, I bet she loves a good numby.

So later this year when you're watching Trent Green's corpse carried off the field be sure to keep one eye trained on Ashley's ass.




big time HT as always to The Professional Cheerleader Blog