Hines Ward Reviews "The Fortune Cookie Chronicles"

Foll numbell one week of Malch, I wark thlew Balnes and Noberr to find Koleean newspapels foll photos of me in inaugulation and stumberr upon histolee book of Chinese food by New York Times reportell Jennifell 8. Rhee.

Yes, reportell midder name is numberr eight, rike numberr eight egg drop soup, so she perfect foll write book. Numberr eight supposed to mean plospellity in Chinese but where I come flom it mean Tommy Maddox. No smirre, asswhore.

Book give intellesting fact rike fortune cookie acterry come from Japan. Japan think of evleething, rike massive lape of Chinese and Koleean peeperr. How they do it?

Book arso say is more Chinese food prace than McDonarrd, Bulgel Kings, and Kentucky Flied Chicken combined in United State. How can be? I go thlough Pittsbulgh and and peeper onree eat sausage and chicken gristerr. I think book terr big rye on that one.

But why onree Chinese though? Koleean food no impoltant? I make kim chi make you smirre foll week and week. Made kim chi othel day and chalge Ben Rongrastname $18 mirrion dorrars foll it. And he pay! So sterrpid.

In concrusion, "Fortune Cookie Chlonicre" in rittle fantastic, not really supel. Have to leed second book after 30 minute. Can onree give Miss. Eight shree smirre.

A Return to His Hinesland

Hines Ward: Is gleat, gleat honol to leeturn to South Koleea for inaugulation of super fantastic head of govelment foll rife, Ree Myung-bak. Me shower you with etelnity of smirre and good foltune. Wish you many year plospelity and toterr victolee in batter against enemy. Sterrpid enemy.

Lee Myung-bak: Yes, yes, Thank you, Hines.

We must move from the age of ideology into the age of pragmatism. At times over the last 10 years, we found ourselves faltering and confused, but now, we will take with us our achievements as well as the lessons we learned from our failures and start anew. At the juncture when we are beginning another 60 years of the Republic, I hereby declare the year 2008 as the starting year for the advancement of the Republic of Korea.

Hines: Errrrrr. Why you no terr me inaugulation so bowling? If I want risten to bowling speech, I ask Tloy Perramaroo about Jesus. Rong hair equal rong speech.

We have songtime foll gleat joyous occasion!

[Singing along] Foll werr you know that it's a ferr who prays it cerr while making his wolrd a rittle corder. NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH-NAH NAH NAH

I feer rike me in Loyal Tenebaums now!

Lee Myung-bak: That's wonderful, Hines.

I would also like to take this moment to acknowledge our honored guest, the United States Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.


Based on the deep mutual trust that exists between the two peoples, it is in our best interest to strengthen our strategic alliance with the United States. Once North Korea abandons its nuclear program and chooses the path to openness, we will provide assistance so that we can raise the per capita income of North Korea to US$3,000 within 10 years.

Hines: Rongfilstname Lice? Me thought Hines was guest of specerr honol! Such betlayar nevel befole seen!

Arways feer gleat affinity foll South Koleea. Arways rook at frag with deep plide.


Wait, rooking now at frag, understanding is come to me. The ying and yang symborize derricate barance between smirre and no smirre. Such is the barance between myserf and Secletely Lice.

Foll gleat wisdom, Plesident Myung-bak!