The specific and the abstract stare each other down, with former Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengal head coach and stadium namesake Paul Brown taking on a Texan, circa 1836-1845, when it was still a rugged frontier rather than a sprawling wasteland of high school football obsessed fat people.
Contestants
Paul Brown_________Texan
Preferred game
Football_______Hold 'em
Has one
Life to live, which he already lived______Star on annoyingly omnipresent flag
Produced
Three NFL Championships_____Steers, queers
Interesting connections
Fired by Art Modell______Done by Debby
Sadly associated with
Unholy triumvirate: Browns, Bengals AND Ohio State___Texas, and extension, Mexico
Unfortunately sired
Mike Brown______LBJ, George W. Bush
Finishing move
Cursing Cleveland sports for eternity____Form a really fat militia
Paul Brown_________Texan
Preferred game
Football_______Hold 'em
Has one
Life to live, which he already lived______Star on annoyingly omnipresent flag
Produced
Three NFL Championships_____Steers, queers
Interesting connections
Fired by Art Modell______Done by Debby
Sadly associated with
Unholy triumvirate: Browns, Bengals AND Ohio State___Texas, and extension, Mexico
Unfortunately sired
Mike Brown______LBJ, George W. Bush
Finishing move
Cursing Cleveland sports for eternity____Form a really fat militia
I'm voting for the Texans because Stone Cold said so !
ReplyDeleteW was born in Connecticut.
ReplyDeleteIs anyone else picturing Brown getting a Stunner?
ReplyDeletedone by Debby = insta-win!
ReplyDeletepaul brown 3:16 says both my teams suck hard
ReplyDeleteOH HELL YEAH!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePaul Brown wants you to get off his fucking lawn.
ReplyDeleteAs Dubya's taught us, Texans tend to run away from the real fighting and stay at home to defend their state from, uh, Oklahoma.
ReplyDeleteI'm going with the Cleveland Steamer.
So Punter accounts for 2/3 of the unholy triumvirate. Is that why he's so angry? I'm torn becaus my hatred for Texas and Ohio State is equally profound.
ReplyDeleteI think this is going to be another landslide. (What!?) I said I think this is going to be another landslide. (What!?) I mean Texas has all the keys to victory, (what!?) more great people come from Texas, (what!?) like ol' Stone Cold (what!?), the Undertaker (what!?), umm, well that's about it, but that's all you need, and that's the bottom line because...well you get the rest.
ReplyDeleteTexan has rifle, Brown has clipboard.
ReplyDeleteTexan wins.
wow this is a close one. i voted brown, because i do hate the star on that stupid flag.
ReplyDeleteand lbj
Back in Paul Brown's day, real men wore shirts, not jewelry. They also didn't wax their arms and chest, and could wrestle bears.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to believe that the man that fathered two NFL franchises would lose to a hairless, oiled up gimp. Stone Cold didn't even drink all those budweisers he cracked open, he just poured them all over himself like a booze-wasting muppet.
/homerism
I am voting for Paul Brown because he is like a real NFL player. Fathering 2 children with 2 diferent women (cities). The man spreads his seed! GO PAUL BROWN!
ReplyDeleteYou hate long blow jobs? Oh what are we talking about again?
ReplyDeleteTexan is likely an illegal immigrant. I'm saying that DQs him from the tournament.
ReplyDelete683 to 678! best vote ever...
ReplyDeleteHell yes, James. What was the spread on this one?
ReplyDeleteThat's your March madness right there. 706-718, go Brown(s)!
ReplyDelete