Thursday, March 20, 2008

Yapcunt Regional: No. 1 TITAN vs. No. 8 SAINT - TO WHOM SHALL YOUR VOTE GO???

The conservative right is basking in this sort of religion-meets-religion matchup, as the Greeks take on the Italians, while the Germans and Irish sit around and drink beer. TO WHOM SHALL YOUR VOTE GO?

Voting is closed. The Titan won with 74 percent of the vote.


Contestants

Titan


Saint


Home Field


Mount Othrys


Heaven


Origins


Ancient Greek mythology


Greek Christian literature


Hobbies


Destroying younger, sexier Olympian gods


Destroying younger, sexier altar boys


Fundamental Weakness


Never really existed


Actually already dead


Theoretical Weakness


Oily skin, terrible-tasting food


Over-dependence on FEMA


Finishing Move


Slaying relatives in quest for power


Waiting for Kill Kill Kill NIT

]

14 comments:

  1. Upstate Underdog2:12 PM, March 20, 2008

    I went to catholic school for 9 years, I'm voting Saints.

    /never an altar boy or molested

    ReplyDelete
  2. Otto Man2:25 PM, March 20, 2008

    Actually already dead

    Is this the end of Zombie St. Francis of Assisi?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Steve2:27 PM, March 20, 2008

    Been done. Saints already won. Last I checked no one was worshiping Oceanus.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Spud Randall2:28 PM, March 20, 2008

    A little David and Goliath going on maybe?

    /molests Punter for Katrina joke

    ReplyDelete
  5. John S.2:55 PM, March 20, 2008

    Came here to say that same thing as Quiet Strength. However, I was going to refer to Hyperion.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ExecutedToday2:56 PM, March 20, 2008

    Is the Kill Kill Kill NIT the MLB mascot tournament?

    Saints could fuck up Padres, Twins ... perhaps even White Stockings.

    ReplyDelete
  7. TurleyGirlie3:07 PM, March 20, 2008

    Saints'll fuck up everyone.

    They don't even have to hurl a Charger-like bolt of lightening...they can just intercede with God.

    Saints for the win.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Steve3:17 PM, March 20, 2008

    Oceanus was the first one I saw on Wikipedia under "Titans." No clue who he is. Still, I don't think we're going to see our first 1-8 upset.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Claude Balls3:26 PM, March 20, 2008

    < buzzkill >

    The Titans were deities, right? Unless one of the NFL franchises was recently renamed after the Greek or Roman gods or was renamed the Christs, Yahwehs or Allahs, don't the Titans pretty much win the tournament in a walk?

    < /buzzkill >

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wormfather3:36 PM, March 20, 2008

    Saints are all sorts of non-violent and shit and ya know titans are titanic and shit. However, saints can come back from the dead and if that's the case, is the fight ever really over?

    ReplyDelete
  11. gone3:43 PM, March 20, 2008

    Saints can come back from the dead?

    I gotta get me some of that.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Raskolnikov9:28 PM, March 20, 2008

    Do the Titans have Kratos on their side?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Tracer Bullet10:27 PM, March 20, 2008

    I went to Catholic school for 13 years. I'm voting Titans.

    /former altar boy
    //never molested
    ///but dammit, I was cute

    ReplyDelete
  14. SlideShow Bob12:31 AM, March 21, 2008

    On one side u got the head of the Titans who was tricked into eating a rock instead of his son. on the other side theres Mother Teresa who couldnt of weighed more then 85 pounds.

    I say Titans

    ReplyDelete