Site News: Your 2008 KSK Offseason Preview

Well, NFL season is over, and we’re left without games until… SEPTEMBER?! GAHHHHH!!!!!!

/dies inside

But fear not. For those of you who were new to the whole KSK hate train just this season (and Sitemeter indicates you number in the 10’s of 10’s!), you should know that the offseason mantra of KSK remains: Football season may be over, BUT DICK JOKE SEASON IS ALL YEAR ROUND.

To that end, we’ve got plenty in store for you during these offseason doldrums:

-Regular posting every weekday, as always
-More Wade & Jerry adventures
-The return of Kill Kill Kill
-The return of Better Know A Draft Pick
-The return of KSK mock drafts and KSK commenter drafts
-The return of KSK off topic. Get your towels ready
-Pictures of Drew, possibly drunk
-Drew goes to Vegas, loses assload of money
-More cheerleader posts
-More Osi Umenyiora poop jokes
-More hate
-More Marmalard
-More evenings out with Silky Garrard
-Michael Vick’s letters from prison
-More bukkake

Also, later on this year, we may be leaving our home here on Blogger and migrating to a new platform that’s all our own. And yes, it’ll have ads. It costs lots of money to pay those goddamn manatees to come up with this shit. Bout time we got back in the black. Otherwise, we won’t be changing a goddamn thing. We won’t be growing or developing as writers or human beings in any way, shape or form. That’s a guarantee.

So strap in. Or strap it on. We’re hurtling full bore into this shit. YEAAAARRRGHHHHH!

Another Hollow Accomplishment that Means Nothing

Last week we published our 1000th post on this here blog. To commemorate the occasion, we talked about writing up a special post acknowledging the feat -- the kind of post that looks back on the fun we've had and counts up all the readers who have come by, yadda yadda yadda. Naturally, because we're all lazy and found the topic uninspiring, nobody actually followed through.

But y'know, with it being a second-tier holiday and all today, we thought we'd take a moment to say, "Yay, us!" and thank all you nice people for reading. We appreciate all of you, from the most devoted commenters to the casual readers who just skim for a Big Daddy Drew byline. The latter stings, but we understand.

We'll return to our regular programming tomorrow. Please drink responsibly at work.

Welcome To The Jamboroo, Bitches

We’ve got some big plans in store for you this season, and here’s one of them: My shiny new NFL column over on Deadspin. It’ll run every Thursday, so mark your calendar and dress appropriately. King gets Monday. Easterbrook gets Tuesday. I get Thursday. And Thursday rapes the ever loving shit out to those other two days. So click on over and enjoy the new column. And feel free to send me feedback and/or hate mail. The angrier, the better.

And that’s not all. Thought Fridays during the NFL season belonged to that prick fuck over on Page 2? WRONG. Ufford’s about to get all up in his ass with his own weekly piece over at AOL FanHouse. Say hello to… The Prelude.


Actually, it’s not a Honda Prelude that the name refers to. It’s based on some poem I’ve never read and never will.

Finally, the bukkake doesn’t end today. No, no, no. KSK is taking over Deadspin this entire weekend. So be sure to click on over to the mothership on Saturday and Sunday for live football updates, tit shots, and more. The NFL is back, my friends. And so are the dick jokes.

Special thanks to Dan V for the artwork. AND to Punter for the Prelude visual.

This week, we’re holding the first annual KsK Kares Charity Drive for Fisher House, which supports disabled veterans and their families. You can donate directly to FH here.