Holiday wonderment abounds...

I was utterly perplexed when I read this morning that Ray Lewis is, in fact, Jewish. Maj says it's utter bunk, but maybe he just doesn't want to claim God's linebacker. Nonetheless, it says so right on his Wikipedia bio-- so it must be true. Happy Hanukkah, Ray.

Jewish? Cool. But Ray as a mohel ? We think not.

I'm Gonna Stab You, Pete Morelli

And when I'm done stabbing you, I'mma stab that goalpost. Think you're pretty clever, don't you Mr. Goal post? Well, me and Mr. Knife don't take too kindly to that shit. No more doinkin' for you.

Nobody makes Ray Lewis come back out of the locker room. I was mid-dance, you fucks.