$20 Million Gonna Buy A Lotta Hotcakes

I like this new Cleveland team. I like the way they do business. I get traded, and then they give me $20 million dollars.

That is some good shit.

I tell you this, $20 million gonna buy a lotta hotcakes. I had planned on just having a steak and a milkshake for my 1 o’clock lunch. Then maybe another steak and milkshake for my 1:30 lunch. But with this $20 million in my pocket, ain’t no reason I can’t go get myself a big stack of them hotcakes.

I know IHOP usually be for Sundays, but this different. I bet they let me in right away. I bet they’d even let me have a booth table, so long as they press the table against the other side of the booth so’s I can be accomodated.

Then, I’mma order me some hotcakes.

You get them hotcakes right off the griddle, and that shit be good. I bet I can even request a separate scoop of whipped butter for each cake, and that would be good as well. I bet, for $20 million, they even give me two kinds of fruit.

You know what would be good on them hotcakes? Chocolate cake.

I’m gonna wear a suit when I get them hotcakes. Because this is a double special occasion. I wonder if they could dip the hotcakes in eggs, so that I can have French hotcakes, because that would be very expensive and international. I bet that how Donald Trump eat them hotcakes.

I like hotcakes.

Hines Ward Reviews the Super Bowl Ads

Foll 42 Supel Bowr, I was no praying, so I sit at home to watch for commelciarr while frowing locks at pictules of Ben Rongrastname. You want tarr leceivel? Eat lock, sterrrpid!

This time ads just okay, not leery super fantastic. But some make smirre. I tell for you!

I rike this one okay. Encoulage peeperr to have creen crowes, patlonize my laundlee prace. You have ticket?

I give it shree smirre.

Commelciar numbel terr:

I leery confricted about this one. It make raff but giant piddin is scalee. Also fly around my prace and nevel reave. Prease reave, piddin.

I give onree terr smirre.

Commelciar numbel shree:

I can no bereave this. It so lacist! Because panda is Asian he have to have funny accent? I so Ang Lee! Panda in movie theatel who does kung fu and terr me to sirence cerr phone is voiced by Jack Brack! That super okay! But this one offenses me!

It suckasuckasuckasuckasuckasuckasucka.

This ad suck to me.

I give no smirre.

You Not So Tough, Jaglar

Me not so implessed by your rong sclamble, Sirky Gallald. I eat bigger cat than you.

Me has more heart than your whole team or any other store in town, and will sell for you, super exclusive price.

Jaglar grab facemask super fantastic hard on two-point conversion but official pletend he no see. He can no marry my daughter.

No feel rike smirre now.

Okay, maybe rittle smirre.