Showing posts with label huge tracts of land. Show all posts
Showing posts with label huge tracts of land. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Jordan Endorses KSK!


Every day until voting for the 2007 Weblog Awards closes on November 8th, we’ll have a new celebrity endorsing us and encouraging you to vote KSK for Best Sports Blog. And, should these celebrities be female, and possess a surplus of cleavage and a deficit of clothing, well, we can’t help who chooses to love us. Today’s celebrity endorser is model Katie Price, aka Jordan. Jordan, what do YOU think of KSK?

“I love KSK because they talk about the issues that affect me as a citizen. Issues like, does the above swimsuit reveal my nipple? Because honestly, I can't tell if this is a nip slip or not. KSK also shares my concerns about horseless horsebackriding.


"All big-breasted models such as myself deserve a horse to ride on, so that our huge mammaries might bounce up and down in the name of freedom. Without a horse's back to grind against, how am I supposed to get the proper vaginal stimulation? KSK's progressive attitude on this matter is exactly what I'm looking for.


"And will photographers stop making me do the crabwalk in high heels? Jesus Christ, man. This isn't the military.


"I also support KSK's proposal for a 18% increase in leg warmer subsidies. And they support wearing two bras at the same time. They've got my vote!"

Thanks, Jordan! Stay tuned for more endorsements from models who went way overboard at the plastic surgeon's office all week! And be sure to vote every day, even if your wife left you to run away with her gynecologist!

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Lucy Pinder Endorses KSK!


Last year, we tried a plethora of strategies to win the Best Sports Blog award. We begged. We pleaded. We even resorted to a good old fashioned nasty attack ad. And all of it, to our surprise, worked. But I think this year, I think we’re gonna require an even bigger effort. And you know what that means: Celebrity endorsements!

Yes, celebrity endorsments are the backbone of any campaign. Spielberg endorsed Hillary. Oprah endorsed Obama. Fred Thompson mildly endorsed Fred Thompson. And the corpse of Lenin endorsed Kucinich. Having a celebrity back you lets the common folk know you have even less in common with them than they originally thought. Is that A+ campaigning? Fuck and yes.

So, every day until voting closes on November 8th, we’ll have a new celebrity endorsing us and encouraging you to vote for KSK. And, should these celebrities be female, and possess a surplus of cleavage and a deficit of clothing, well, we can’t help who chooses to love us. Today’s celebrity endorser is British pinup model and Tebow-girlfriend lookalike Lucy Pinder. Lucy, what do YOU think of KSK?


“Oh, I think KSK is brilliant, innit? Even though I’ve never heard of them. And I don’t know anything about American football. And I’ve never heard of a blog before. In fact, I don’t even know how to use a computer. I just stick out my heaving treasure chest and say, ‘Can someone please help me with this bloody machine?’ and blokes come running in to help me! It’s brilliant. I like dancing and pretty colors.”

Thanks, Lucy! Stay tuned for more endorsements from big-breasted models all week! And be sure to vote every day, even if you’re in jail!