They Managed To Sign Charles Nelson Reilly To An Offer Sheet, But Gaytown Matched The Terms

By now, you've probably heard that the Jacksonville Jaguars signed former No. 1 Draft Pick and Where The Fuck Are They Now coverboy Tim Couch to a two-year deal. Two. Twice. Two times. If he makes the team, he'll pocket the league minimum, a paltry $595k. If not, then it's back to second shift at Kinkos.

This is the NFL's equivalent of, you know, when you're out of clean underwear and you haven't done laundry, and so you're like hunting around, sniffing every dirty pair of underwear on your floor (hopefully, you're just wafting the scent of the garment to your nose, unless you have a fucking death wish). And finally you get to that striped pair of boxer briefs and you think, "This pair doesn't smell like complete shit." At that point, I'll steam iron them or pop 'em in the microwave for 40 seconds or something. They feel fresher that way.

And I have no idea where I heard this story first, so you can take your hat tip and stick it up your ass. You're like a bunch of fucking girls.

UPDATE: While we're on the subject, stop sending us baseball shit. We don't care. Next baseball link we get is earning an invitation to a Lemon Party, courtesy of twoeightnine.

UPDATE: Do not Google "Lemon Party." Please.