KSK Celebrity Pickkake: Jennifer Love Hewitt

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in the Pink Taco! Up next, it's Jennifer Love Hewitt!

Can I just say something? I'd like to say something about all the comments that have been made about my body? I don't care if you said it or not. I know you were thinking it. Oh, trust me, I know.

You know, it's not like all of YOU are perfect, okay? I mean, New England is almost perfect, but that doesn't make them RIGHT! There are a lot of teams right now struggling with their identity, okay? And just because you FREEKS are masturbating to people besides me is no reason for you to...I just (sobs)...you guys are just so mean...I just...I know it's big down there...I've tried pilates...I've tried Jenny Craig...it's just really (sobs)...it's hard for me...Valerie Bertinelli makes it look so easy...(sobs) Can I get a tissue please? ...Can someone...will someone bring me a goddamn tissue? ...I just don't...HEY WILL ONE OF YOU GET ME A FUCKING TISSUE?!?!

Valerie, if you so much as pass me on the street I will fucking kill you. You perky little bitch. "Oooh, look at me! I lost all this weight! It's so easy!" Go fall down a goddamn well, you Paisan whore! Kirstie Alley and I are going to eat you like a pack of wild boars! Nobody crosses J-LOVE! NEVE CAMPBELL TRIED THAT SHIT AND HAVE YOU HEARD FROM HER LATELY? NO I GUESS NOT SO SHUT IT! YOU MAKE ME TOUCH YOUR HANDS FOR STUPID REASONS! BITCH!

So, next time guys? Just be cool, okay? Hee-hee. That was a real laugh, I swear.