Monday, April 7, 2008

Kill Kill Kill Fighting Four: Viking vs. Bengal. WHO YA GOT?

By reaching the Final Four of the Kill Kill Kill Tournament, we've pretty much exhausted all available jokes and references for the mascots remaining. Trolling through the Sunday funnies yesterday, I found a good angle for our first semifinal contest. Hopefully The Comics Curmudgeon doesn't sue us.

Viking
Pro:
-Considerable longevity despite complete lack of humor
-Horrible, supposedly
-Stone-sized feet can deliver lethal blow
-Facial hair disturbing even to an animal


Con:
-Not sure what separates Vikings from the other warriors in the above comic
-Above comic not funny
-Not as horrible as shrewy wife
-Inexplicably wears white shirt under what appears to be a straw toga
-Sword awfully stubby, looks like made of cardboard
-Shield chipped


Bengal
Pros:
-Wry observations on human nature
-Established record of fooling humans
-Excellent pouncing ability
-Jolly

-Appears in actual good comic
-Access to a transmogrifier

Con:
-Only mobile when Calvin is around
-Named after philosopher (Pretentious!)
-causes scientific process to go boink
-Possibly gay for himself (Link is kinda NSFW)
]

15 comments:

  1. Pemulis12:50 PM, April 07, 2008

    if hobbes loses to hagar i will kill myself. or be mildly disappointed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. smurphette12:54 PM, April 07, 2008

    If you don't vote for the bengal tiger, you are definitely gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Maybe that's how you roll. That's fine. I'm just saying your manhood is totally in question.

    ReplyDelete
  3. John S.1:02 PM, April 07, 2008

    I vote for Viking simply because I love the idea of women in winged helmets.

    No other reason.

    /knows it is a myth.
    //Does not care.

    ReplyDelete
  4. eirishis1:05 PM, April 07, 2008

    Agree to disagree:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApxnAr6pRt0

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Last Unitard1:35 PM, April 07, 2008

    Error message... can't vote... must... participate... in democratic process... but too apathe

    ReplyDelete
  6. SlideShow Bob2:21 PM, April 07, 2008

    Hagar might be able to trick em with a Tuna Sandwich, Tigers r stupid that way.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Animal Mother3:10 PM, April 07, 2008

    OK, Tiger this time, but only because you used a picture of Hobbes.

    ReplyDelete
  8. clmetsfan3:20 PM, April 07, 2008

    Hobbes was able to outsmart Calvin in nearly every one of their snowball battles. Has Hagar ever won a battle? He always seems to be shipwrecked or strung up in a dungeon with Lucky Eddie.

    Hobbes in a rout.

    ReplyDelete
  9. naptown drew4:15 PM, April 07, 2008

    @smurphette

    Yeah... I voted for the Tiger. I think in the end, my manhood was more concerned about wearing a purple outfit complete with horn stickers than kickin' it with Calvin. My bad.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Unknown4:55 PM, April 07, 2008

    SO LONG, POP! I'M OFF TO CHECK MY TIGER TRAP!

    ReplyDelete
  11. smurphette6:34 PM, April 07, 2008

    @naptown drew: Plus, bengal tigers are pretty badass in real life. You made the right choice.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Man Bear Pig7:03 PM, April 07, 2008

    The bengal tiger's access to a transmogrifier (plus a Martian spaceship) tilts the favor in my opinion. Clearly, Hobbes can transmogrify himself into anything else ... even a piece of all the most fearsome mascots out there!

    A BearJetBengalVikingTitan.

    Terrifying.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Unknown7:33 PM, April 07, 2008

    The transmogrifier is irrelevant. The tiger is already the most fierce of the mascot creatures.

    ReplyDelete
  14. H Cuz2:09 AM, April 08, 2008

    Why the hell did I click on that link?

    ReplyDelete
  15. dick_gozinia11:20 AM, April 08, 2008

    I'm wondering why I kept reading it. What the fuck is wrong with me? And who the hell took the time to write & animate Hobbes fucking himself?

    ReplyDelete