Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Homerism Regional 1st Round: No. 2 Bear vs. No. 7 Bronco. WHO YA GOT?











This opening round match-up pits ursa mighty against one of many retarded fucking horses we've got in the running in the mascot tourney. Will Mr. Bear get the chance to eat glue like Ralph Wiggum or will the Bronco learn for sure whether there is truth to the phrase "sweet like bear meat"? Only you can decide.. WHO YA GOT?

NOTE: The poll is at the top of the sidebar to the right. Voting for each contest is open until the end of the day that it's posted. Voting is closed in this contest. The Bear won with 89 percent of the vote.


Contestants

Bear_______________Bronco

Best Known For

Threatening America__________Bucking (and Levading)

Gravitates Toward

Salmon, Menstruating Women________Num, num, good salt lick

Possible inglorious end

Head mounted on wall_____Glue holding together your macaroni art

Name Appropriated By

Hirsute homosexuals_______Ford Motor Company

Country way of saying it

Barr_______Harse

Fans

"Godless killing machine" label appeals to atheists___Dee Mirich

Finishing move

Killing godlessly__________Running hopelessly

]

25 comments:

  1. fallex8:18 AM, March 18, 2008

    Man, that's sweeter than bear meat. I'ma marry her too.

    +10 to the first to tell me who said that quote.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Otto Man8:38 AM, March 18, 2008

    Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you.

    Especially if you're a prissy harse.

    ReplyDelete
  3. SlideShow Bob8:58 AM, March 18, 2008

    Theres a reason thery are the number 1 threat to America.

    ReplyDelete
  4. J9:11 AM, March 18, 2008

    I think this outcome was predetermined just on the pictures provided... that and it's a fucking bear.

    ReplyDelete
  5. the great bambi9:11 AM, March 18, 2008

    the only thing more dangerous than a bear is a bear led by a certain coach ditka...

    ReplyDelete
  6. DougOLis9:14 AM, March 18, 2008

    Man vs. Wild > Sex And The City

    ReplyDelete
  7. Otto Man9:19 AM, March 18, 2008

    I think this outcome was predetermined just on the pictures provided...

    Yep. If it's Yogi Bear vs. a rodeo bronco, this goes the other way. That dude would get his head crushed in on his way to a pickanick basket.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Lazer9:42 AM, March 18, 2008

    You can only go with the namesake for mr. Grylls. It's the bear

    ReplyDelete
  9. Steve9:42 AM, March 18, 2008

    That bear's pretty good. If you like...ten foot, 2,500-pound mascots with razor sharp claws and teeth...

    ReplyDelete
  10. 5150cd10:08 AM, March 18, 2008

    Come for the Simpsons references, stay for the killings.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pemulis10:17 AM, March 18, 2008

    I'd like to send a warning. Anyone who is considereding doing a google image search for "gay bear" to then maybe link to a funny picture, should first make sure your safe search is off. that way you get pages consisting entirely of pictures of dudes blowing each other and/or holding their weiners.

    ReplyDelete
  12. content10:38 AM, March 18, 2008

    Horse. Just to be a dick.

    ReplyDelete
  13. smurphette10:38 AM, March 18, 2008

    @dougolis: +1

    ReplyDelete
  14. throwbot10:51 AM, March 18, 2008

    Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Animal Mother11:16 AM, March 18, 2008

    Tiki Barber would like to take the credit for the bears 1st round victory.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Les Savy Ferd11:22 AM, March 18, 2008

    depending on how big the octagon is, i'm pretty sure the horse's speed is useless here. Sure he might be able to deliver a solid kick to the head or two, but I'm picturing the big, drunken, godless killing machine takes this one.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Chuck Sweet11:44 AM, March 18, 2008

    bronco takes this one.

    because fuck you guys for giving him a #7 seed in a bracket where a crow is a #4. that's why.

    ReplyDelete
  18. digitaldan211:41 PM, March 18, 2008

    Bronco.

    Anything from The Simpsons, beat anything from real life. You wanna make if fair, you gotta throw up a pic of that bear from the Simpsons with his protective gear on. Until then, bronco, hands down.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Animal Mother1:43 PM, March 18, 2008

    OJ Simpson votes Bears because Broncos will always let you down in your time of need. Especially the white ones.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Zac2:13 PM, March 18, 2008

    Bronco pulls off the upset of the tourney here. Bears are out of style anyway, as any trip to your local seedy video store will tell you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Man Bear Pig3:04 PM, March 18, 2008

    Bears are the #1 threat to America ... I think they can handle Furious D.

    ReplyDelete
  22. ZZZZZZZZZ3:12 PM, March 18, 2008

    A unicorn, maybe... A bronco, no way.... However if the two animals were trained circus animals, they would be more inclined to have the bear ride the horse.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous4:33 PM, March 18, 2008

    The Bronco better win or fucking Shanahan is going to fire everybody

    ReplyDelete
  24. dick_gozinia5:00 PM, March 18, 2008

    Wait! I thought manbearpig was the #1 threat to america!?! Fucking Al Gore....

    ReplyDelete
  25. Unknown8:26 AM, March 27, 2008

    Fallex, that's The Creeper, baby . . . we know him as The Hamburger Pimp, though!

    ReplyDelete