Monday, March 10, 2008

Another Seven-Diamond Specimen, Governor Spitzer?

I know what it's like to be a man of integrity. Despite what the papers and, on occasion, the authorities have had cause to say about me, I'm an honest businessman and, you, a servant of the people.

It appears our arrangement may have landed you in a spot of hot water. For this, I am sorry. When entering into such a transaction, I'm afraid there's the expectation of a considerable amount of risk for someone of your position. Xiochita tells me of your many positions.

You have been a valued customer, to be sure. Your night-long sessions with the Diabolical Diana at $5,500 an hour put me in pink Gators for life.

I hope with arrival of your sudden legal trouble there won't be the temptation to tell the authorities of our dealings. It would accomplish little to palliate your predicament. I also think the consequences could be somewhat dire for your loved ones, as well as your friend and fellow client, Mr. Umenyiora.

Many have called you something of a latter-day Eliot Ness. I suppose I should have foreseen this being something of a problem. There can't be two of us, you see. I mean, look at my hat! The role was clearly mine for always.

21 comments:

  1. Many of called you something of a latter-day Eliot Ness

    "Let's do some good... hookers."

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  2. Damn you quick. It's almost like you had the inside information on him hiring a girl to visit him when he was in DC.

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  3. "There can't be two of us, you see. I mean, look at my hat! The role was clearly mine for always."

    So very true, but Elliot Ness wore Burgundy color shoes.

    /well, they looked that way in The Untouchables

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  4. Today, thousands of people around the country are celebrating Client #9!

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  5. Anyone know the conversion rate between diamonds and smirres?

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  6. If Spitzer had dealt with I'm a Pimp Named Slickback, none of this would've happened.

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  7. Not by coincidence, the diamond rating was established by determining just how many diamonds you have to buy Mrs. Spitzer after the press conference.

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  8. I think Kobe set the base line for Diamond buying.

    /realizes basketball reference, but only way to make the point

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  9. Ahh, the heterosexual heir to the McGreevy throne...

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  10. I guess, unlike Wade, the Guv WAS VERY COMFORTABLE at a club. The Emporer's Club, that is.

    /TOUCHABLE

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  11. Love the possible irony of Spitzer getting slammed with RICO charges, since that was probably his most powerful tool during his career as a prosecutor. Also, love Eliot Ness in The Untouchables with the 3-piece suit.

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  12. Love the possible irony of Spitzer getting slammed with RICO charges, since that was probably his most powerful tool during his career as a prosecutor..

    he blatantly abused his power in my biz...heres a makers on the rocks to you..elliot, we hardly knew you!

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  13. @nashville

    Bellichik only goes for the married ladies...

    If it ain't cheating, it's not worth doing.

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  14. (Bleep)ing Giants fans!!! Win the Super Bowl and just lose all sense of everything. Spitzer is a putz.

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  15. Sonofabitch looks like Marlo Stanfield.


    /pisses on Cheese.

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  16. Question- What does $5,500/hr get you?

    And would you be spoiled for regular sex afterwards?

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  17. How much spritzer could Spitzer swallow, if Spitzer could swallow spritzer?

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  18. You've got to love how Silky keeps popping up. It's last year's Off Season Adventures of Michael Vick. When OSAoMV started he was just a moron who smoked weed. He blossomed into a full recuring story. I feel like Silky has the same potential.

    Anyway, it's quite ironic that after Spitzer resigns (I'm sure he will), all the governors in the tri-state area will have originially gotten their position because their boss resigned.

    WV: jovpee (I dont even know what to make of that)

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