Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Fish, Meet Barrel


I STAND BY MY CHOICE OF CALIENDO. From Mike Murray, of Chico, Calif.: "Peter, Peter, Peter! Caliendo better than Belushi? Belushi was an incredible comedian and performer. Caliendo is nothing more than an impressionist, albeit a good one. He's Rich Little, modern day. Nothing more.''

How about Belushi, as a zit, in Animal House? You may be right. You probably are right. There's no accounting for taste. Caliendo is the funniest guy in America right now.


Yes, I forgot how awful a film "Animal House" is. It would have been WAY funnier with Frank Caliendo in it! He could have done a Nixon impression!

Apparently, Peter King also lives in a world without Stephen Colbert, Dave Chappelle, Dave Attell, Demetry Martin, Chris Rock, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Brian Regan, The staff of The Onion, Will Ferrell, Louis CK, Steve Carell, Sacha Baron Cohen, Seth Rogen, Judd Apatow, Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, Larry David, Conan O'Brien, Christopher Guest, Howard Stern, Harry Shearer, Matt Groening, the "Flight of the Conchords" guys, and about 7 million other people.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Update from CC & UM: Yeah, since impressions are the baseline for what's funny, let's not forget how terrible Belushi was at them.

44 comments:

  1. "Caliendo is the funniest guy in America right now."

    He means that Caliendo and Ray Romano are currently double teaming America Ferrara.

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  2. I do like Caliendo's John Madden.

    That's as far as I'll go.

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  3. Thanks for not putting Dane Cook in that list.

    You did forget David Cross. Caliendo's Madden is hilarious though. I could listen to an hour of him imitating that buffoon.

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  4. Caliendo's fine, but you're right. A world with Chris Rock means there is no other contender to be the funniest man in America.

    King is such an idiot and Will Carroll wants to be him. Just talking about it makes me want to stick a gun in my mouth.

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  5. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. I can't read him anymore. What a disgrace.

    And I know this isn't football related, but if he says Derek Jeter is a better player than Manny Ramirez one more time, I am going to find him and shit on his face.

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  6. i think america is finally together on the fact that dane cook is not a funny man.

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  7. if you look at that stellar photo you can actually hear king's eyes slowly being incorporated into his increasingly massive head.

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  8. are the people that keep Caliendo on the air the same people that keep the Gumbles in sports and Kornheiser on ESPN?

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  9. Louis CK probably wins on that list, i mean, has anyone seen Pootie Tang?

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  10. Peter King must also think that Maroon 5 is the best band in the country right now.

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  11. Doesn't Caliendo have a new show starting on WTBS soon? I thought I saw a commercial during the playoffs.

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  12. Caliendo's not bad, but seriously, he's imitating President Bush, DeNiro, and Pacino. He's not exactly pushing the fucking degree of difficulty, now is he?

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  13. hey, I don't see the guys from Entourage on the list!! WTF?

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  14. so, once again, a hale and hearty "fuck" and "you" to the bloated shit-sack that is Peter King.

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  15. Belushi does a mean Brando as well

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  16. Pootie Tang/Louis CK: FUCKING BRILLIANT.

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  17. That was only the second time someone had been mauled to death by a gorilla in that factory in that month!

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  18. The only reason Peter King is dogging the comedy brilliance of John Belushi is because, in PK's mind, he never got close to being as funny as his brother Jim.

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  19. lets not forget belushi's otherworldly devotion to both food and drugs. fat cokeheads baffle me.

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  20. Louis CK & Demetri Martin own that list. glad to see Guest was put on there.

    I remain surprised he didn't give the nod to Red Skelton though. That Skelton...whew, what a character.

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  21. The video that everyone should be forced to watch is the one where Cocker and Belushi peform "Feelin' All Right" alongside one another. Unreal stuff.

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  22. He finds them funnier but no longer considers Stephen Colbert, Dave Chappelle, Dave Attell, Demetry Martin, Chris Rock, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Brian Regan, The staff of The Onion, Will Ferrell, Louis CK, Steve Carell, Sacha Baron Cohen, Seth Rogen, Judd Apatow, Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, Larry David, Conan O'Brien, Christopher Guest, Howard Stern, Harry Shearer, Matt Groening, the "Flight of the Conchords" guys, and about 7 million other people people after learning they boinked Mary Beth and never called her back.

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  23. Ranking the comedians on that list is like ranking blowjobs: some may be slightly better than others, but they're all pretty fucking good.

    Caliendo is a hand job at best. Gets the job done, nothing more.

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  24. How many episodes for Frank TV? I put the over/under at 12. It would be 4 if it was on network.

    I mean, how many times can he do his 3 "good" impressions in 30 minutes?

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  25. Pootie Tang was born in a little town outside Gary, IN. And that town was called "Chicago".

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  26. sure is, grimey. you really know your pk...good luck sleeping tonight.

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  27. sine my pittie on the runnie kine.

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  28. RE "I am going to find him and shit on his face."

    Just go ahead and do it now.

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  29. PK also thinks that Cavemen is the funniest show on t.v.

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  30. where is zach galifianakis???

    I can't read this blog anymore or live.

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  31. Brian Regan is the man, and he works clean (not that any of the fucknuts here would care about that). And also the "Flight of the Concords" guys?, i saw them live once and they were pretty good but man that show was bad.

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  32. I think PK stopped following real comedy once the vaudeville scene dried up. They just don't crank our the gags and one-liners like they used to.

    King is such an idiot and Will Carroll wants to be him. Just talking about it makes me want to stick a gun in HIS mouth.

    FIXED.

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  33. Nice list, but you left off the top three

    1. David Cross
    2. Patton Oswalt
    3. Ricky Gervais

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  34. Hey morons, the whole point of the post is that there are a fuckload of people funnier than this perfectly adequate impressionist. So stop blathering about how offended you are that your pet clown was left off the list.

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  35. Let's not forget, Demetri Martin is also getting his own show (Comedy Central) which in itself will make up for the Frank Caliendo promo-athon (that i'm sure frank loathes more than all of us combined) and the canceling of Louis CK's show on HBO that nobody but me seemed to like.

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  36. UM

    I LOVED Louis CK's show on HBO and was pissed as hell when they decided to cancel it. He just took a sitcom to a new level.

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  37. Those Frank TV teasers during the Divisional Series were funny for about 15 minutes into Game 1.

    Then I started daydreaming about cutting his fucking head off.

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  38. @ hadesgigas

    zach galifianakis is fucking hilarious and probably my favorite comedian.

    @ jake

    it's not so much being offended as it is letting others know about people who they think are funny. it's nothing to take offense with.

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  39. Some gems of PK:

    "You've got to love text messaging. I haven't always felt that way, as a card-carrying member of Generation Square. I once had to quasi-ground my daughter Mary Beth for a 1,700-text month at college. Anyway, this quickie form of communication came in handy Sunday night, when Miami quarterback Trent Green was still in a haze from an afternoon concussion."

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  40. Peter King thinks the 1988 Ford Taurus is the echelon of American innovation.

    Peter King is still baffled by the invention of the remote control.

    Peter King, for his money, just can't top the reliability and musty ink smell of the 1957 Remington Rand electric typewriter.

    etc.

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