The final tally is in from our KsK Kares Charity Drive:
The total donations raised for Fisher House: $1,565. It just goes to prove: KSK is here for the children. We're not just here for the dick jokes, people. We're here to give back to the community, and then to brag about just how much we gave back in order to justify being total fucking dicks. I feel great!
39 of you donated, which averages out to about $40 a donation. Jesus, you people are loaded. Why can't you give ME any of that money? Huggies are never discounted at Giant, god dammit. Everyday low prices, my ass.
So take pride, you charitable souls, and spend this weekend celebrating yourselves. Drink 1,565 beers. Eat 1,565 flautas. Beat up 1,565 Patriot fans. Write a 1,565-word epic poem about yourself in the original Latin (mine is called The Drewterralogue). Spend 1,565 seconds giving your loved one oral pleasure. Dial 1-565-156-5156 and harass whoever's on the other end. Refresh your NFL GameCenter 1,565 times. Spend $15.65 in takeout money. You could get three chicken finger subs instead of just one, fatty! Call your mother and give her a 1,565-word diatribe about how she doesn't appreciate you enough.
$1,565. Nicely done, people. Here's a cheerleader in lingerie. You should tell her about just how giving you are. Maybe she'll acknowledge you presence for longer than 1.565 seconds.
QUICK PROGRAMMING NOTE: I'll be on WCCO Radio in Minneapolis this evening at 10:10 Central Time. You can listen here. if you so choose. I will not be sober.
UPDATE: Oops. Interview postponed to Monday.
i posted this in the other post, but its too good not to post here in this new one. celebrate your generosity by having a lemon party
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9shrf3s5Wgo
again, kinda nsfanything?
God, why did I watch that?
ReplyDelete/hits self
im so watching that when i get home from work
ReplyDelete@shan
ReplyDeleteI don't think you want to. Google a picture of lemon party, and you'll understand.
I asked in the previous post, I'll ask again, "why, pemulis, why ?"
ReplyDeleteI need 1,565 cheerleader posts to make up for watching that.
fucking pemulis. fuck
ReplyDeletePemulis, you are one disgusting dude. The hideousness of that video will haunt my dreams forever.
ReplyDeleteI clearly knew better, yet I still watched it. I'm a fucking retard.
ReplyDeletethe weirdest part is that the dudes kissing even look like the dudes on the actual site. .. i think. i havent been there in like an hour
ReplyDeleteI too knew better, it is like when my wife tells me the milk went bad and I smell it any way. I blame my-self more then Pemulis.
ReplyDeleteI am going to be strong and resist the urge to go to that link.
ReplyDeleteBesides, I don't think the old women sitting in the seats near me at the Atl airport would appreciate a lemon party. They'd think it was scandalous.
PS: Chick-fil-a is the fucking bomb, in case you did not know that. Yes, I just ate some.
Chik-fil-A kicks much ass. It also seems like the only time I get to eat it is when I'm in the ATL airport.
ReplyDeleteI hate you and all others eating chick-fil-a right now becuase I'm not.
I'm glad I already knew what that was, and didn't look.
ReplyDeleteDon't ask how I already knew what that was.
Drew, Purple Jesus thinks your faith is weak. 250 is more like it.
Go Vikes!
Google a picture of Lemon Party? You're searching for more images like that?
ReplyDeleteI for one can't wait for Drew and Adrian's Purple Party.
1.565 seconds is about twice as long as I'd last with her. I'm like the anti-Wade Wilson.
ReplyDeleteLemon Party. Never seen it, never will. That was one of the sites smart asses told people to go to in high school and laughed their asses off the next day when the victim tracked them down and started yelling at them. Right up there with tubgirl and Pen Island.com.
ReplyDeleteOh no! They yelled at them!
ReplyDeleteno girls invited, its time to get excited!
ReplyDeleteOh no! They yelled at them!
ReplyDeleteNot much else you can do when you get owned in that fashion...
1500 bucks and all we get is lingerie? For that we expect naked Brazilian cheerleaders. Or, for my $30, maybe some more breadwich belly.
ReplyDeleteAnd poor Baby Drew, if only her daddy didn't spend all his money on liquor and gambling, maybe she wouldn't have to wear the diapers with the fake Daffy Duck on them.
ReplyDeleteSUNDAY NFL PICKS ARE IN!!!
ReplyDeleteCHECK THEM OUT!
http://mysportpicks.blogspot.com
thanks
kennyo
Your picks are bad and you should feel bad.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, what the hell is "Kashkakke" supposed to be? I feel like I'm missing something really obvious, and I feel stupider because of it.
Drew, are you ever on KFAN?
ReplyDeleteTonight was THE worse Vikes game I've ever seen in 20 years of being a fan.
Why the playbook wasn't Screen pass to Purple Jesus all night is beyond comprehension