And... that'll be all for the Sex Cannon. It made sense to lionize our friend Rex Grossman back when he threw up the occasional 3 TD game. Unfortunately Sexy Rexy is, in reality, just another shit QB. So take care, Cumslinger. It was fun while it lasted. But I think we're all looking for something a bit more stable now.
But could there be another potential Sex Cannon on the Bears roster?
Well, I'll be damned.
When do the shirts go half-price?
ReplyDeleteWe're doubling the price. They're retro now.
ReplyDeleteas a bears fan, i'm beyond relieved...
ReplyDeleteas a sex cannon fan, i'm absolutely devastated
Shit. I'm always on the wrong side of the market.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to submit that the new sex cannon be Derek Anderson.
ReplyDeleteHe has at least two of the qualities that made Rex the sex cannon:
1. An unnatural love of dangerous, orgasmic downfield throws (and the corresponding hatred of dumpoffs / touch)
2. A shelf-life
There'll be a Sex Cannon resurrection in a year on another team like Buffalo or the Chiefs or maybe the Bucs or Falcons.
ReplyDeleteHe's like Jesus. Only the faithful will be shown the way...
to his cock.
Can the Vikings work out a trade for him?
ReplyDeleteHe's like Jesus
ReplyDeleteI dunno, Jesus had 11 guys who actually respected him...
There have been reports around these parts that the Bears might outright release "el cannon".
ReplyDeleteAt least that means we're one torn ACL away from the resurrection of Kyle "neckbeard the pirate" Orton. Because, Griese's not nearly as interesting as either one of those drunks.
Somewhere a headline writer is weeping for not unleashing "Ocho Stinko" when he had the chance.
ReplyDeletethe CFL awaits the arrival of the Sex Cannon.
ReplyDeleteThere's no replacing the Sex Cannon. Sure there will be Son of Sex Cannon, Sex Cannon in Space, or Sex Cannon X. The Sex Cannon will probably end up in Canada or Europe, where we can continue to follow his sexy adventures. iViva el Cannon de Sexo!
ReplyDeleteAnderson would be a good Cannon 2.0 doesn't do it with the same flair and arrogance.
ReplyDeletei say trade him to the packers. they know what to do with a QB who chucks it downfield with reckless abandon. and fat chicks need lovin too.
I can see it now...Rex winds up on the Dolphins after Trent Green gets pummeled into the turf again and unleashes the dragon on the AFC East and all those tasty specimens on South Beach.
ReplyDeleteAnd by specimens, I mean women and men that spend too much time in front of the mirror.
Can you make a version of the sex cannon shirt where the cannon is propped up by a bench?
ReplyDelete@ jackin'4beats
ReplyDeleteWait...You mean like Jason Taylor?
Orton = Sex Cannon 2.0?
ReplyDeleteThe Sex Cannon will never die, and I'll still wear my Sex Cannon t-shirt every sunday.
ReplyDeleteLadies and gents the Sex Cannon is on the move!
ReplyDelete@BlueAndGoldBuckeye
ReplyDeleteYou got it. I DON'T want to imagine that romp in the sack however.