Ape is Sticking Around This Frozen Banana Stand

I almost quit KSK this week.

I had drafted a resignation letter and everything. It was heartfelt and affecting, contrite yet cogent, and, if you can believe it, it even had a few Simpsons references.

You see, though I work for this paper, which on its face may seem like a cool job, my position occupies a deadening vortex of fluff piecery from which I cannot escape. See, carping about your job is much worse than bitching about your fantasy team. After getting turned down for another two positions elsewhere this week, I figured I needed to knuckle down and turn my full attention to furthering my career. That meant no more blogging about dick jokes and construda and how much I wish the Ravens to be wiped clean from the Earth.

Luckily, a sagacious voice called out from the darkness to remind me of that vital lesson that quitting is for losers and working harder at your job is for saps and the Chinese.

To use an NFL analog, KSK imbues my ugly, odious workdays the way the Ea-gals vastly improve the Hazmat quality 75th anniversary throwback uniforms Philly will be wearing this weekend. And I thought the Steelers' throwbacks were horrific. Then again, these are just ungodly enough to ward off Jon Kitna's miracle inducing powers, which he summons by having the hand of God rub his fuzzy head.

Thanks as always to the Professional Cheerleader Blog.