After some Facebook pictures and excerpts surfaced on KSK this summer, the legend of Koolaid Maroney has grown exponentially. Yet time has done little to decode Koolaid’s secrets of life. We wash our ass religiously, yet we still haven't divined the mysteries behind ‘begul shitting’ or, more importantly, ‘construda.’
Frankly, we think our readers in New England are slacking on this one. Surely one of you underemployed slackers has had the opportunity to ask Maroney about construda. Koolaid has probably been asked about his increased role after the retirement of Corey Dillon a thousand freaking times already. Enough already. Someone ask something we actually want to know. If Ryan or Shaughnessy are reading this remember, one of you old bastards could land a Pulitzer over this.
In the meantime, Urban Dictionary has some suggestions, including our own, but none seem truly authoritative. Alas, the search continues.
My fantasy team name is "Pass the Contruda"
ReplyDeleteMiss Vicki will get no construda in prison
ReplyDeletemaybe it's a secret new Kool-Aid flavor he's working on and planning on begulling to the world any day now.
ReplyDeleteCaretaker says they make jailhouse construda in the terlet when the screws aren't looking.
ReplyDeleteBut jailhouse construda tastes like deodorant and socks
ReplyDeleteOokie's gonna have to keister a whole hell of a lot of construda to bribe his way out of having to fight to fight another inmate to death for amusement and wagering at the behest of the dog-loving-serial-killer-with-a-heart-of-gold-and-sense-of-poetic-justice-for-canines.
ReplyDeleteI smell a movie. Starring Omar Epps as Vick, with John Malcovich as the serial killer, and Ving Rhames as the inmate who takes Vick under his wing. Oscars all around.
ReplyDeleteIsn't a construda a large snake?
ReplyDeleteYeah, ok, cool...
ReplyDeleteIn other news, we need an update in "The Off-season Adventures of Michael Vick"
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20350573/
Construda is clearly the Bubonic Chronic.
ReplyDeleteBah, I was wondering if it was you guys who added a construda definition.
ReplyDeleteconstruda is an old wooden ship from the civil war era
ReplyDeleteInternet Balderdash?
ReplyDeleteConstruda is the less popular tourist island near Bermuda.
I still have not figured out the construda, but for the past few months I have been chasing the cheese instead of the hoes, and it is working quite nicely for me.
ReplyDeleteJust sitting here waiting for the adventures of Michael Vick: The Plea Bargain. Good times await us all!
ReplyDeletesorry for the pressure, I just have nothing else to do with my time at the office.
Construda is...what is it, when you punish criminals in days of yore?
ReplyDelete"You mean the stocks, or a pillary?"
Yes, that's it.
The Chronicles of Ookie:
ReplyDeleteThe Lying, the Snitch, and the Plea Bargain