Yep, that’s right. An actual discussion of football right on this here site. Never thought you’d see the day, did you?
The best part of fantasy football is how it helps get us, the football-bereft citizens, through the horrors of late June to August. You’d be surprised how much time you can eat up convincing yourself Wes Welker will be a great sleeper pick. And so, let us get the ball rolling with a rough draft. No stat sheets in front of you. No refreshing your memory of last season. No checking bye weeks. This one’s all gut. Consider it a fundamentals drill.
The rules: Let us assume this is a nonkeeper league. You start 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 RB/WR, 1 TE, 1 K, and 1 D, with 5 bench spots. 13 players total. No points for receptions.
1pt. = 10 yds run/rec or 25 yds passing
4pts. = passing TD
6pts. = run/rec TD, Defense/ST TD
-2pts. = fumble or INT
3pts. = FG
5pts. = FG 50+
1pt. = extra point or sack
PICK 1 PLAYER ONLY, THEN WAIT 12 PICKS UNTIL YOU MAKE ANOTHER SELECTION.
Oh, and I’ll be taking LT2 now. Suckers. He’s fun because he makes the Seahawks look dumb!
Have at it.
reggie bush
ReplyDeleteLawrence Maroney, obviously.
ReplyDeletefrank gore
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna go with Vick, Mike, he's bound to bounce back from last season.
ReplyDeleteLarry Johnson. It's nice to get to the party early.
ReplyDelete@herc
ReplyDeletegonna get hurt no way he holds up after 416 carries.
Steven Jackson, bitches.
ReplyDelete@herc, yeah, I'd be very weary of him under the Herminator.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteRandy Moss
ReplyDeletePeyton Manning, especially if he can throw at childrens' heads.
ReplyDeletePeyton Manning, ya i'm that guy
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSheesh. I'm getting killed for a guy that's had back to back 1700yd seasons? He's got another good year in him before his legs fall off completely.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletegoddammit sh!tshow, you must have gotten me by 10 seconds, im taking Julius Jones
ReplyDeleteAlright, I'll roll the dice ... Shaun Alexander.
ReplyDeleteBut Reggie Bush with the #2 pick? Really?
Chicago Defense.
ReplyDeleteI'm that guy.
bush can run and catch. very versatile. upping his td odds.
ReplyDeletePortis.
ReplyDeletewho woulda thought taht this would be the slowest one yet.
ReplyDeleteI can run and catch too, but it doesn't mean I'm worth the second pick.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not even splitting carries with Deuce McAllister.
willie parker
ReplyDeleteOh BDD, already gone, buddy.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking about starting the run on kickers, but I'll go with Thomas Jones.
yah but receptions dount count so the catching loses value, hes good but not second pick good.ps who thinks drwe is using this as asome sort of audtition for the lague and has a bunch of people in mind but is going to let someonein who deosn't take his sleepers?
ReplyDeletewe will wait and see otto man. maybe bush is a high risk high reward type of pick , but you can't deny his versatility.
ReplyDeleteAnd my Maroney pick was obviously a joke, but the more I think about him busting through the goal line, screaming "OH YEAHHHHHH!" I get fucking amped.
ReplyDeleteVersatility makes a Transformer.
ReplyDeleteI'll take an every-down back in that spot.
@ burnsy
ReplyDeletei think that this needs to be added into madden, every time he scors madden just screams that.
Not gonna make a pick...just gonna point out that I have LT2 in my keeper league.
ReplyDeleteThat's right. I won the Big One last year.
(What good is it if you can't brag? And, no, I am not trying to get into your gay FF league.)
Or just have the giant Kool-Aid burst through the screen. This is a million dollar idea. Kool-Aid had grape flavor, right?
ReplyDeleteI'm like mothafuckin clockwork, i can't go past the second round without taking anquan boldin. one of my flaws in life
ReplyDeleteotto man is your questioning of bush with the #2 pick have anything to do with his last name ? (just kidding)
ReplyDeletemy problem or strategy is take all colts my team last year was manning addaai rhodes harrison clark wayne and colts d.
ReplyDeletei have a problem.
I can't believe I'm getting the boring consistency of Rudi Johnson in round two. Wheee!
ReplyDeleteAnd my Reggie Bush bashing has nothing to do with my George Bush bashing.
i will take travis henry in the second round.
ReplyDeleteseeing a huge year in denver
Ronnie Brown.
ReplyDeleteDammit Larry. Fine, I'll take Carson Palmer....if his receivers can stay out of prison.
ReplyDeleteMy problem is that I take Lamont Jordan in the second round because my roommate's goddamn magazine says I should.
ReplyDeleteI think that's 12...
ReplyDeleteso I'll take Willis McGahee, and also will claim dibs on all of his bastard offspring.
Harrrison.
ReplyDeleteDon't cry for Grimey. He's already dead.
ReplyDeleteTom Brady.
ReplyDeleteSteve Smith
ReplyDeletenot a pick but i am having fun watching these
ReplyDeletehttp://thesnagwire.com/joomla/On-The-Web/The-Most-Entertaining-Sports-Fights-Ever.html
carson palmer
ReplyDeletetoo late beaver
ReplyDeleteI'm going to take Vernon Davis because he's a monster and i'm also going to end my draft there, but im still gonna hang around and make fun of people for drafting the Domanick Davises of the world (i realize he changed his name but im too hungover to care right now)
ReplyDeletesorry, missed it. i'll take bulger
ReplyDeleteDonovan McNabb
ReplyDeleteI owe the guy.
Larry Johnson, aka the dynasty, is going to hold out this year.
ReplyDeleteI'm going with the worst player available (I can't be bothered to check if this is true), just because I love seeing his pouty "I suck" face after overthrowing his receiver. That's right, I'm taking none other than Mr. Eli Manning.
I'll take Kenny Irons.
ReplyDeletethis is going really slow this morning. i think people prefer talking about their favorite drinking games and best nude scene in a movie than actually talking football
ReplyDeleteway slower than expected.
ReplyDeleteI hate playing the waiting game. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos instead.
ReplyDeleteyeah, we need to speed this up
ReplyDeleteJoey Harrington... starter for the Atlanta Falcons.
ReplyDeleteI don't feel the need to defend this pick. The pick speaks for itself.
How about 12 picks or 15 minutes... I don't know if we have 12 people participating still..
ReplyDeleteif all else fails, we could always start up a porn star draft
ReplyDeletegood idea grimey.
ReplyDeleteI'll take Kevin Jones, of the Lions. Yes, I have been drinking.
ReplyDeleteBrian Westbrook. Thank fucking god.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if that's 12 picks yet, but fuck it... the Sex Cannon doesn't care. So I'm drafting him.
ReplyDeleteI'll go w/ Edge James.
ReplyDeleteTorry Holt.
ReplyDeleteDeuce. So far Manning, Harrison, and McAllister. Not bad.
ReplyDeleteSex Cannon - Rex Grossman - Because scoring w/chicks is 10 points.
ReplyDeleteMatt Hasselback.
ReplyDeleteI live in Chicago, but love my Seahawks.
i can't stand him, but what the hell, t. owens
ReplyDeletei will take brett farve,
ReplyDeleteoh we lose for picks never mind then.
I'm not even going to get involved. You guys have fun with this. I have to fly today, so I could only get no more than 3 picks in before my flight.
ReplyDeletesloth, at this rate i'll be lucky to get 3 more picks in by 5pm.
ReplyDeleteThis is some bullshit... should've known a dickhole like BDD would set up a fantasy league and then not bother to tell anyone what time the draft started. And so here I am, holding my dick and wondering what's up, only to realize that the draft is now 70+ comments in. And of course BDD sees fit to give himself first pick and take LDT. Fucking great.
ReplyDeleteSince I've got to salvage something here, I'm taking Vince FUCKING Young. Why? Because all VY does is win football games, and I'm sure that shit translates to fantasy somehow...
wv - pxehip
Brandon Jacobs
ReplyDeleteIt's either that or Reuben Droughns, so don't give me the red ass.
Jerrico Cochery...dude's going to have a killer season.
ReplyDeletelet's see... I have Steven Jackson, Willis and his offspring, and Sex Cannon (and screw you insignificant life - I got Rexy first).
ReplyDeleteguess that means someone needs to catch the cannon's bombs. Then again, we don't employ defensive backs here...
so, I'll take Reggie Wayne.
did we lose BDD ? haven't seen him pick since he took brady.
ReplyDeleteNo one's taken Joseph Addai? Really?
ReplyDeleteAlright, Addai.
wv from koolaid: g'dam! x-uh!
Larry Fitzgerald and his free crackers.
ReplyDeleteJamal Lewis.
ReplyDeleteBrowns win division this year, Superbowl next year, Brady Quinn wears evening gown to parade.
Chad Johnson.
ReplyDeleteIt's a crying shame that Big Daddy Drew didn't take his half brother Maurice Jones-Drew. So, I will.
ReplyDeleteQB - Matt Hasselback
RB - Maurice Jones-Drew
How the fuck did I overlook Chad Johnson?!? Good pick Hercules.
ReplyDeleteI was stunned Ocho Cinco lasted so long.
ReplyDeleteSo ... time's officially come to a standstill, right?
Roy Williams.
ReplyDeleteAnd my verification word is Coxpyret. Gay mafia?
are we still waiting 12 picks?
ReplyDeletei plan on following protocol. it's been an hour since my last pick. one pick before i go again. waiting 12 picks is getting painful
ReplyDeleteCan't wait. It's been more than 15 minutes, I'll be drunk at lunch before I get 3 rounds......
ReplyDelete2nd pick - Drew Brees
Always eases it in like a gentleman....
Lee Evans
ReplyDeleteI'll be rocking the Palmer to Johnson combo all season long.
ReplyDeleteAlmost as good as shitshow's Manning to Harrison combo....almost.
Tony Romo
ReplyDeleteDeAngelo Williams
ReplyDeletewv - ccpeor
I know I didnt make any picks but i know who i WOULDNT pick, fuck Tommie Harris and the Bears D, turing on Sex Cannon like that.
ReplyDeleteMarion Barber III
ReplyDeleteGay Mafia? And no has taken Garcia yet?
ReplyDeleteWith the first TE of the draft .... Antonio Gates
ReplyDeleteUgh, the waiting is killing me.
ReplyDeleteHoushmazilli.......championship!
Rick Ankiel
ReplyDeleteYou're out of control, UM!
ReplyDeleteWhich makes an Ankiel pick pretty apt.
is it too early to draft Chris Henry?
ReplyDeleteOh snap. Devon Hester.
ReplyDeleteI'll take the Bengals Defence...I need a reason to watch the news.
ReplyDeleteJohn Kitna.
ReplyDeletePlaxico Burress....
ReplyDeletelate as usual but at least there is some nice picks left on the board.
Marques Colston
ReplyDeleteThis is hard.
again, officially over an hour since my last pick. still respecting protocol.
ReplyDeletehomer pick...Cutler
ReplyDeleteOOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me... Lendale White
ReplyDeleteandre johnson
ReplyDeleteFuck protocol, I want Barry Sanders. Comeback year!
ReplyDeleteRB #2 is Cedric Benson. He's like Ricky Williams without all the bong hits.
ReplyDeleteQB - Matt Hasselback
RB1 - Maurice Jones-Drew
RB2 - Cedric Benson
So far so good....
This late in the game? Time for value picks.
ReplyDeleteMarshawn Lynch, GB Packers
It's been two hours, and I think a dozen picks. So ... Philip Rivers.
ReplyDeletelynch was drafted by buffalo, not gb
ReplyDeleteOOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me... Ron Dayne
ReplyDeletesame freakin difference, two northern market teams no one cares about, my bad.
ReplyDeleteI just have a feeling, and my late start doesn't give me much choices here....
ReplyDeleteAdrian Peterson, RB (there's two of them, so I refer to the rookie for the Vikings).
OOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me... Daunte Culpepper
ReplyDeleteMy team - all fat - all the time
ben, can you blame me for being so sensitive ? after all i am a bills fan.
ReplyDeleteI'll likely be making my next pick sometime on Monday, so here's the current status:
ReplyDeleteQB Philip Rivers
RB Shaun Alexander
RB Rudi Johnson
RB Joseph AddaI
WR Steve Smith
WR Torry Holt
TE Antonio Gates
Given my history with fantasy football, half of these players will be on crutches by week 3 and one will be in jail. My money's on Rudi. He's been quiet, but he's a Bengal.
beaverfever, i'm a cal alum, i'm more mad at myself than you...
ReplyDeletewith my second pick, i take another rookie with upside... WR Calvin Johnson. Damn me for taking a freaking Lion.
this draft is a bigger bust than Tony Mandarich.
ReplyDelete@grungedave...I was just about to say the same thing. Who would have thunk that a fantasy football draft on a football website would bomb so bad.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna go draft some digleberries.
i need to update my self
ReplyDeleter.bush - rb
w. parker - rb
m. bulger - qb
t. owens -wr
l. evans - wr
a. johnson -wr
maybe if i'm lucky my picks will be done by sunday. can't belive this has taken so long. go play intramurals, brother !
Warrick Dunn... always gets drafted too late.
ReplyDeleteI think the problem here is that once the first ten picks were made, few people wanted to take part and start in with Antowain Smith as their top pick.
ReplyDeleteim still have a game plan... but yeah im starting think that this getting a bit pointless at this time...
ReplyDeletemy 3rd pick, my QB... gosh this slate has been picked pretty clean.
ReplyDeleteHow about Chris Simms? Guy's going to come back with a vengance this year.
I am officially back from lunch (and drunk) so...
ReplyDelete4th pick - Ronnie Brown
Personal Summary
Jamal Lewis RB
Drew Brees QB
Houshmanzadeh WR
Ronnie Brown RB
WR - Chris Chambers. Trent Green may be old and grizzled, but he's still got passing skillz (with a 'z'). Chambers should be a nice addition.
ReplyDeleteQB - Matt Hasselback
RB1 - Maurice Jones-Drew
RB2 - Cedric Benson
WR1 - Chris Chambers
OOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me... David Boston
ReplyDelete(Crap, is he still in the league?)
My team - all fat - all the time
I'm drafting Sebastian Janikowski.
ReplyDeleteHe gets the good drugs for a kicker.
Has it been 12 picks yet? Oh, fuck it, it's close enough. I pick Dominic Rhodes, RB, now spiralling down into the pit of dispair known as the Oakland Raiders.
ReplyDeletei know he sucked last year, bounce back this year ? cadillac williams
ReplyDeleteI'll take
ReplyDeleteChargers D
Hines Ward WR
Kellen Winslow TE
Jeff Wilkins K
and now I shall return to the patio that so graciously hosted the beginning of the end of my friday.
Next draft should have naked cheerleaders.
Ok screw it. Matt Leinart and Shockey. I'll take 2 because nobody cares anymore...
ReplyDeleteWR-Plax
RB-Dunn
QB-Leinart
TE-Shockey
I suggest a commentor draft that begins after 9 am Westcoast time?
Beacuse its unfair to live in perpetual sunshine and beautiful weather.
Bear Grylls, i also have a man crush on him.
ReplyDeleteWait 12 picks? We couldn't possibly accomplish this unless you expect me to work late...and that just ain't not happenin'.
ReplyDeleteWR2 - Santana Moss. Who's the QB is Washington? Who fuckin' cares...that dude is fast as hell!
WR/RB - Mike Furrey - He's a white wide receiver and he plays for the Lions. And I'm sure there are good things about him as well.
TE - Tony Gonzalez - Did we just stop drafting TEs after Gates? Oh well.
D - Seattle Seahawks - They play the 49ers and Cardinals 4 times. Sign me up!
K - Lawrence Tynes - I have no Bengals, so I needed a legit felon to round out my starting roster. He's born in Scotland and loves to break the faces of bouncers...he's NY giants (ass)kicker Lawrence Tynes!
QB - Matt Hasselback
RB1 - Maurice Jones-Drew
RB2 - Cedric Benson
WR1 - Chris Chambers
WR2 - Santana Moss
WR/RB-Mike Furrey
TE - Tony Gonzales
DEF - Seattle Seahawks
K - Lawrence Tynes
Greg Oden
ReplyDeleteDamnit you guys started way too fucking early.
ReplyDeleteBernard Berrian.
te - todd heap
ReplyDeleteAlright...so far....
ReplyDeleteWR - Bernard Berrian....thats it.
Championship!
i still need a defense. i take s.d.'s
ReplyDeleteJerome Bettis, wit GNC Megamen Multi-Vitamin
ReplyDelete