Oh man, you should see this fucking place. Holy shit! There's oceans of pussy just spilling out of the hotels. Everyone's getting loaded. Castro's gonna fucking die, whoever that is. I mean, this is the biggest party I've ever been around.
And you're telling me I have to go to bed at 10PM tomorrow night? Fuck, we have to play a game on Sunday? God, that's bullshit.
Why couldn't it be, like, Monday and shit? I'd be recovered by then. Fuck, I don't even PLAY, man! No coach ever comes up to me and says, "Hey Orton, you better be ready. We need you." No, they just make me the scout team Peyton Manning and have me flap my arms at the line of scrimmage like a fucking seagull for two minutes straight. Christ, it's like doing calisthenics. My shoulders hurt, man.
Oh my God, the hottest brunette in the world just walked by. Holy fuck, if I were building a woman from scratch, that's what it would look like. Especially the tits. Christ, no one at Purdue looked like that. Shit, all the girls at Purdue looked like me. I gotta go rub one out. Fuck me, man. See what I'm missing? They set up all these parties with chicks like that and we can't even go. What a fucking cocktease.
Oh dude, that guy has a Bud bottle in a zipper cozy. That looks soooooooo fucking good. You know in soda commercials when the lady takes a sip of Coke and then goes AHHHHHHH!!!? I totally do that after every swig of beer. Oh, it's so good. Dude, if there were no game on Sunday, you know what I'd do? I'd get 60 of those things and just rent a fucking catamaran. God, that would be sweet. Catamarans are huge pussy magnets. Plus, when the wind kicks up you get to lean over the side and shit. Awesome.
So unfair. We bust ass for 6 goddamn months to get here, and once we do, we have to fucking WORK. This game may as well be in fucking Moosejaw. In fact, I'd prefer it. At least I could concentrate.
Fuck, man. This blows.
FIRST.
ReplyDeleteOrton is almost as good as the cumslinger.
Mr. Orton, Max McGee would like a word with you.
ReplyDeleteFIRST.
ReplyDeleteSTFU!
Hey unsilent, why don't you write something interesting for once? Asshat.
ReplyDeleteQuit dragging down the talent of the group you runt. Yeah I'm dead serious. Your material smells like stale crotch.
your name is clint, you should probably murder your parents.
ReplyDeleteClint, I just looked at your blog. It reads like instructions to a Care Bears VCR.
ReplyDeletePlease stop talking.
mark ass marks. trick ass marks. punk bitches, skipskop skanks and skallywags. ho's, heffers, hee-haws and hoolihoos. hate hate hate!
ReplyDeleteAm I first? FUCK.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to cover up a boner in those football pants.
ReplyDeletemark ass marks. trick ass marks. punk bitches, skipskop skanks and skallywags. ho's, heffers, hee-haws and hoolihoos. hate hate hate!
ReplyDeleteAwful Chief, is that from The Chappelle show?
Your material smells like stale crotch.
ReplyDeleteSmell a lot of stale crotch in your day do ya clint.
It's hard to hide a boner in those football pants.
ReplyDeleteDouble post, strange things are afoot at the circle k.
ReplyDeleteKSK has some serious beef with the State of Indiana and its residents. I love it.
ReplyDeletesure is, devang. player haters ball
ReplyDeleteCould we annex the state of Indiana to Canada?
ReplyDeleteUnsilent- what I am named still doesn't change the fact you lack in good material here. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteFirst!
ReplyDeletesorry, i'm three days behind on the internet now.
mark ass marks. trick ass marks. punk bitches, skipskop skanks and skallywags. ho's, heffers, hee-haws and hoolihoos. hate hate hate!
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud when I read that - nearly forgot all about the players ball on the Chappelle show.
BDD - for channeling Orton on the Friday before the big game, +1.
"Asshat" nearly as good as "fucktard", just odder.
"Kyle Orton's Catamaran":
ReplyDeleteEither the best fantasy football team name ever, or the worst strip club name ever.
It's funny to see all the posers come to the defense of the Unsilent one.....what next are you guys going to join in on their little chats? KSK Elephant walk w/ fans? Circle jerk at the pittsburgh game to open the season next year?
ReplyDeleteFavorite Music
ReplyDeleteTalib Mos Def Hi Tek Kanye Pharrell DJ Danger Mouse Easterns Motors jingle
(sighs) I see what we're dealing with here....but I can't say it because I don't want to be part of an internet hate crime.
The day I care abut the opinions of people named Clint who jump on to the comments to declare themselves "first" I'd probably jump off of the 14th Street bridge.
ReplyDeleteMaybe next time you should just skip over the posts you don't enjoy, or you could fuck a goat--either way.
Becky: For best fantasy football team name ever, I'm sticking with "The Wreck of the Larry Fitzgerald."
ReplyDeleteAnd for worst strip club name ever: "Twat's The Big Idea?"
Unsilent vs. Clint: Tupac vs. Biggie Smalls...
ReplyDeleteor not...
probably not...
Oh well. Keep it going though.
Magic City...
mmmm...strippers...mmmm.
more steagles, less clint
ReplyDeleteThere is no need for Clint to pile on UM when his own KSK cohorts already do enough of that.
ReplyDeleteAlso, UM is an expert gambler and knows that "a lot" is 2 separate words.
We need you, Unsilent...and you got stuff going on...wanna soda?
Falco's work is really dragging this blog down. For shame, Falco.
ReplyDeleteClint is currently posting from a city which hosts the Buckeyes, the Blue Jackets, and some kind of Professional soccer "Crew". He has no choice but to bring shame to KSK.
ReplyDeletehis own KSK cohorts already do enough of that.
ReplyDeleteI'm the baby of the family, it happens.
Hey unsilent, why don't you write something interesting for once?
ReplyDeleteYou mean, something like "FIRST"?
These days, whenever I think of Ohio, I think of Gummo.
ReplyDeleteGrimey, that was the most disturbing thing I've seen in a long time. That was probably filmed in Oxford, some of those faces reminded me of the townies. I won't be able to step off campus for days.
ReplyDeleteCome on now... Purdue chicks aren't that bad. Or maybe I'm just saying that b/c I had to do them while I was there.
ReplyDeleteHmm.
You win UM.
ReplyDeleteBut still, my woman's hotter than yours.
14th st bridge?
ReplyDeleteunsilent - you the skins fan on this blog?
(I just found this place a week ago, still figuring it out)
Sheep go to heaven Goats go to hell
ReplyDeleterdg, yes i'm an unabashed skins fan. and i always use the 14th street bridge as a reference for death...but I might have stolen that from Howard Stern.
ReplyDeleteawesome. I've got a coworker who's a NY Douchebags fan and his #1 reason for hating the Redskins (other than LaVar) is that we always say "Next year we'll be in the Supebowl." Keep the faith, hah.
ReplyDeleteShould do a DC KSK beer grab some time.
Yeah, Caveman just had to go to Miami on this of all weekends.
ReplyDeleteClint decides to unload on one of the bloggers for a site that gets mentioned on ESPN.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he's standing on some pretty firm ground, huh?
Maybe next time you should just skip over the posts you don't enjoy, or you could fuck a goat--either way.
ReplyDeleteUM, I take offense to that. mdg, you're right, I am goin to hell. And Orton will throw the winning TD pass on Sunday.
ESPN is a bunch of liberal cock-mongers. Obv. I like the blog or I wouldn't be here Mike. I'm sorry I got on your boyfriend's case, but if UM is going to act like the kingshit around here he should at least earn his keep. Because he rides the coat tails of a good group doesn't earn him first dibs on the pussy every time.
ReplyDeleteClint - Your envy (and your bra strap) are showing. Straighten up girl, you look like shit.
ReplyDeletemike, stop sucking KSK's cock and mind your own business, bitch tits.
ReplyDeleteGee Clint, you're making friends left & right. How do you do it?
ReplyDelete