Following the bizarre misadventures of Friday night, I wake up at the crack of 2 p.m., sharp as a cloud of fog. Vaguely aware of some event on the beach that had models or cheerleaders playing volleyball or Jell-O wrestling or something, I decide to get out to soak in some Super Bowl culture.
Well, the beach is dead, but one block away and parallel on Ocean Drive is the Motorola Mile. As you can see, it's a goddam zoo:
I fucking hate crowds. I steer away from the masses of Bears jerseys, Bears hats, the guy marching down the street playing "Bear Down Chicago Bears" on a trombone (not rusty), and three or four people in Colts paraphernalia and walk toward a large stage that's been set up.
What's on stage, you ask? Not music, that's for sure. There's not a chance in hell there's any decent music here. Not with Middle America and corporate sponsors out in force, anyway. So what's going on? Well, my friends, the answer is corporate synergy! In redhead form!
(Not too shabby, right? I mean, I'd pay rent to live in her ass.)
If you look closely, you'll see the Crunch gym logo on her little tank top, and indeed, Crunch had a little fleet of hotties doing some kind of dance routine (with one muscled dude getting in the way of the sexiness).
And I says to myself, I says, "Self, these pictures are sexy, but you know what would be sexier?"
"What's that?"
"Video."
"Yeah, too bad I don't have -- ohhhhh." And then I realize what I was trying to get at: my little digital camera takes video.
After sealing my fate as a lifelong creep by taking video of women shaking their asses for a website supposedly about football, I need to shake up my day a little. Something to revitalize me. After all, I've been wandering around on the beach all afternoon without any water, and my hangover is starting to get loose, throwing roundhouses instead of jabs -- and taking the gloves off to do it.
There's only one solution here.
It's bender time.
Hydrating AND intoxicating
ReplyDeleteThe beer or the red head?
Holy ####.
ReplyDeleteI may have to leave work now. That redhead pumping her ### about killed me.
Damn, that ass had more shake and shimmy in it than a paint mixer at Home Depot.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been this transfixed since the Hypnotoad.
I tell you what nothing tastes better then a cold coors light on the beach after a massive night of drinking. just enough H2O and just enough uncle Al.
ReplyDeleteThat ass has some serious V6 power behind it.
ReplyDeleteCoors Light = Colorado Kool-Aid, and perfect for the exact reason MDG brought up.
That video is worth watching to see the redhead shake her ass. Now that's entertainment!
ReplyDeleteI propose Redhead Fridays to get us through the cold, dark offseason
ReplyDeleteWilling to bet there are hardwood floors to match those drapes.
ReplyDeleteThat video is worth watching to see the redhead shake her ass.
ReplyDeleteTell me about it. It's almost like that's the reason CC recorded it and posted it here.
Willing to bet there are hardwood floors to match those drapes.
Well played, sir.
I know there are other poor bastards out there who are dying right now because their place of work makes it impossible to view this video. It's going to be a long afternoon.
ReplyDeleteA big 10-4, chief. Goddamn computer nazis taking all the fun out of not doing any work.
ReplyDeleteAfter sealing my fate as a lifelong creep by taking video of women shaking their asses for a website supposedly about football...
ReplyDeleteIf you're really having qualms with this, you could say that you only did it for your readers.
The person standing in front of you was taping her too. And they say Miami isn't classy.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you CC, it's either rusty trombone or none at all.
ReplyDeleteI'm still dizzy from that...the chick had more shakes than Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf...thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty god damned sure that that ass would break me in two.
ReplyDeleteWait, let me watch it again.
Yup, that ass would tear me up shaking and shimmying like that.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that vid CC - you just made my hangover go away
That guy does take away from the women. Seriously, I like a good male ass as much as the next female, but I don't need to see it do all that shaking. It almost took my gaze from the best white woman's ass I've seen in a while.
ReplyDeletewhy did tyhe camera keep moving towards the left? Where the guy was?
ReplyDeleteI wanted more of the redhead, not some dork.
I have some back-side shaking gifts, but I bow to this master.
ReplyDeleteFuck it, I'm going to the bar to practice tonight. Next year I'll send in the film.
I know there are other poor bastards out there who are dying right now because their place of work makes it impossible to view this video. It's going to be a long afternoon
ReplyDeleteTell me about it. Now I've got to wait until I get home tonight to see this chick shake her money maker.
THE ANTICIPATION IS GOING TO MAKE ME INSANE!!!!
WV: ybxbdp
Why? Bronx: Boogie Down Productions. Awww Yeah...
just got home from work.
ReplyDeletewatched video.
waiting for wife to get home.
wrong? I don't think so...
Thanks CC.
Fuck it, I'm going to the bar to practice tonight. Next year I'll send in the film.
ReplyDeleteHey why wait. I am sure CC will take amatuer submissions.
Otto - I was gonna make a reference about having more shake than Muhammad Ali, but the paint mixer from home depot is spot on.
Either my weak eyes are staring too hard, or there's a little camel toe to be seen.
ReplyDeleteuh...WOW...that was brilliant.
ReplyDeleteCC, it is official, you are officially King of South Beach. Your crown will be arriving in the mail.
That there was some good rump-shakin'
Lawd..she keeps shaking it like that and by 30, she will be walking w/ a friggin cane.
ReplyDeleteDusty, not true. I shake it damn near like that at 32, and I barely limp.
ReplyDeleteIt would have been funny/weird had you centered the guy in the whole video and completely didn't address it.
ReplyDelete