We awarded 5 points for each first-place vote, 3 for a second-place vote, and third place votes were good for one point. A contestant could not receive more than one vote per ballot. It takes a while to add this shit up on an abacus, which is why I didn't use one.
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Your results:
Most First-Place Votes: # 9. This would be a good time to point out that we have no idea as to the names of these broads. In fact, life would probably be much easier if we could refer to women exclusively as single-digit numbers, at least until more of them learn how to drive. Michigan Becky said that #9 "easily had the prettiest face to me," and New York Becky pointed out, "why they gave us a better shot of #1's ass than this girl's is beyond me." Finding out we had two Beckys was almost as surprising as discovering that we had two women that actually read our site.
Most Second-Place Votes: # 8. Ocho was probably the blondest of the group, so I guess I'm not surprised that she made it this high. NFL coaches might say she is "deceptively attractive," not that Deuces O'dare complained, mentioning,"Her relative thickness is a plus. she has what we call a take-home package."
Most Third-Place Votes: #9 again. You can probably guess where this is heading...
Winner (Women's Votes): #7, also my favorite. But probably because she's grabbing # 9's ass. You know, because that girl-on-girl thing, yeah, we kinda like that.
De Facto Homely Chick (fewest points): # 5 appeared on only four ballots, and was the only contestant without a first-place vote. Ouch.
Most Depressing Breasts: # 4. TheBigO said, "I was looking at #4 until I noticed that shes got the titties of an old male orangutan." There's a joke in there someplace...
Grand Champion/Object Of Underhanded Zest: #9. A close call (we counted twice), but Niner edged out Ocho, 194-180. Okierover overshares, "I'm thinking really bad thoughts." And chornbe chimes in, "There is no second or third place. There is only #9." And Cheech Marino sends it all home with his sparkling analysis, "With an ass like that I'd eat the corn out of her shit."
So much for the Kleenex.
I think I'd rather bunk up with the becky's
ReplyDeleteman #9, id like to bite her ass, develop lockjaw, and have her drag me to death
ReplyDeletedamn right
ReplyDeleteagreed... I can't believe women read this site and my disbelief has nothing to do with sports.
ReplyDeletei'd have given no. 6 some more consideratioin. looks like she's well endowed up top. and hey, 6 and 9 would make a good couple.
ReplyDeletewhat? too trivial?
My Boyfriend only lets me out of the kitchen to do sports related activities. It's this or foxy-boxing.
ReplyDeleteGotta get back to cleaning. The keyboard is covered in cake batter
"If the Bible has taught us anything—which it hasn't—it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such."
Judging by the faces (specifically the noses) I think 3 and 5 quite possibly could be brothers.
ReplyDeleteNumber 8 looks delightfully thick in the britches
ReplyDelete#1 has mad cottage cheese. she still a phenomenal ass, though.
ReplyDeleteTwo Beckys = 30 Helens
ReplyDeletesussman, fantastic reference. i appreciate that.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteother than the fact after reading your cheerleader posts every friday i feel a compulsion to get an ass implants, i love this site.
ReplyDeleteSo, a chinese person gave me a bottle of liquor this morning. The short story of why is, I work at a hotel, this fellow knew no english, and I know no chinese but I was able to help the fellow out, and so he gave me a bottle of liquor. It is a brown liquor and the only words in western characters on the bottle are: 'changzhishishigejeiyikngjiuyeyouxiangongsi' and 'yikangjiu.' So, I was wondering, since some of you chaps are football experts, and some are liquor experts, if any one knew what it was? My plan is to go home from work this morning, drink the liquor, smoke a ton, and hope the combination, along with the obvious magical properties of a gifted bottle of chinese liquor can make all the above cheerleaders appear. And Mulan too, if she is grown up enough, or the actress who voiced her in the movie.
ReplyDeleteI have now consumed half the bottle. Alas, no cheerleaders, no Mulan, no Ziyi Zhang either. The girlfreind gave me a blind taste test, and yes, blindly I was able to discern this liquor from Jack Daniels. Will give another update when the bottle is consumed.
ReplyDeleteThe bottle is drank. Can not type anymore. Damn those captchas are hard.
ReplyDeleteEven though I know Fridays are cheerleader day here at KSK, I stop by anyway.
ReplyDeleteThen I yawn and look at my own boobs and wait for more sports chat.
Two Beckys = 30 Helens
ReplyDeleteI was hoping someone would bust out the Kids in the Hall conversion chart.
How in the world do I miss the Becky's conversation?
ReplyDeleteI miss the Kids in the Hall. Cabbageheads and Buddy can't be topped.
Thanks for the mention.
ReplyDelete#9 was the finest.