LOLNFL: The Offseason Edition

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Original images by Getty via Yahoo(!) Sports

It's All About the Shalits, Baby... Uh-Huh, Yeah

Dear cum drenched whore, it's time to trim the hedges.

Welcome to a very special episode of Always Be Covering. It's divisional playoffs weekend, which means we're running out of time to make all the easy money we can before we blow it all on Super Bowl prop bets (DON'T FUCK THIS UP, TAILS!). In the past I've found that this weekend provides some of the easiest gambling opportunities of the year. So if you like money and things that are easy feel free to play along at home. Soon you too will have pockets overflowing with Shalits. On to the picks!

Caturday's Are For Coverers, Teases

I told you this was a very special episode and I meant it. This week I'm not even going to attempt to provide rational explanations for my inherently irrational wagers. Instead, it's an ABC/LOLNFL Mashup!

Alright, so here's the deal. I might have fucked up pretty badly on this one. I meant to buy this teaser with a pair of hooks (an extra .5 point on the spread so as to avoid a push, and thus, a loss) but I didn't because I'm a dumbass of epic proportions. Regardless, I'm risking 55 to win 50, and it probably won't even matter.

Reminder: This is a teaser, so the next person to tell me I got the line wrong will be dipped head-first into a vat of Mike Holmgren's excrement.

Seattle +14 at Green Bay

New England -7 vs. Jacksonville

Sunday Funday!

Three single bets, with 55 to win 50 on each.

Indianapolis -9 vs. San Diego

Getting Over On Vegas
Risking 55 to win 50 for each Over/Under bet.

Jacksonville and New England OVER 49.5

San Diego and Indianapolis OVER 46.5

That's it for this week's picks. I wish you the best of luck and hope everyone enjoys the games. I'll be spared from inevitable Pats win thanks to a poorly scheduled (yet unmissable) basketball game.

Week 13 In Pictures, Now With Words!

LOLNFL: Week 10 Edition

Week 10 brought us a few minutes of excitement and dozens of glorious images. I've collected a few of my favorites for the latest edition of every basement dweller's favorite meme.










UPDATE...

The Week That Was--In Picture Form!

UPDATE:

we r in yer innernets, killin yer memes pt. too

Welcome back to the latest installment of macroimpressionism. If you're already confused feel free to scroll down to yesterday's installment (and if you're still confused just go here).












That's it for me, I'm off to Vegas this afternoon so I ask all of you for your prayers (well just the gentiles, I bet Jesus hates roulette and skanks). You should probably expect a drunken check-in at some point.

If you should come across a boogeyman, or boogeymen, remain calm while barricading yourself behind the couch with a 12 gauge. Enjoy Robert Goulet and remember to tip your waitresses.