Yapcunt Regional: No. 2 Giant vs. No. 7 PackerTALE O' THE TAPE

This matchup might appear to be one-sided on paper: Brobdingnagian versus lowly abattoir wage slave. But before you jump to any rash conclusions, remember Andre was only slightly larger than your average steer. Plus, they know how to get rid of the bodies. Incidentally, this bracket is only more fucked up than my NCAA one (thanks, Temple and Georgia).

Poll is on the sidebar to the right. Voting is open until the end of today.

Contestant

Packer ______ Giant


Slogan

Beef: it's what's for dinner ___________ OBEY


Distinction that sounds less cool the more you think about it

Feeds nation that consumes 28 billion lbs of meat a year __France's best-known athlete


Unlikely ally

Upton Sinclair _____ The Million Dollar Man


Unintended legacy

Trite, yet enduring, “meat packing" double entendres __ Gheorge Muresan made a movie


Occupational hazard

Squalid working conditions amid tons of diseased carcasses ___ ditto


Finishing move and notable copier of said move

Captive bolt gun to skull (Anton Chigurh) __ Massive heart attack (Ken Lay)

Better Know a Draft Pick: Joe Thomas

Welcome to the first latest installment of KSK's newest series, Better Know a Draft Pick. We'll lead up to April's draft by giving you all the pertinent info you'll need on the next generation of future salary cap casualties.

I'm coming for you Mr. Ham!


Name: Joe "Wonderbread" Thomas

Height: Somewhere between Alando Tucker and Brian Butch
Weight: When he got on the digital scale it started leaking battery acid

Urine Test: Velveeta
Stool Sample: Corn. Lots of corn.

Mainstream Comparison: Jonathan Ogden
KSK Comparison: Michael Lewis' recurring wet dream (not to be confused with his other recurring wet dream featuring a nude Tabitha Soren traipsing around the Oakland A's locker room).

Who Wants Him: David Carr's bruised ass
Who Will Take Him: Some shitty team that wants to bore their fans

Hobbies: Basting fat chicks in the tub
Favorite Food: Miracle Whip sandwiches and his salt lick
Favorite Expression: Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum

Story ESPN Will Shove Down Your Throat: He once ate the corpse of his uncle Dave after defeating the Wendy's founder in a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger eating contest.

Immediate Impact: Seismic
Down the Road: Dementia pugilistica and robot legs...not a bad trade-off