Wednesday, January 2, 2008

The Bucs Are In The Playoffs? Cool. But I Can't Fit In Those Seats!


NFC 4th Seed -- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-7)

I'm so happy the Bucs are in the playoffs. But if they think I'm heading to that stadium on Sunday, they're drinking crazy juice! I can't fit in those seats! The armrests are way too rigid. I need them to have some give. And lots of my Tampa-area friends agree. We were just talking about it the other night while dining at Houlihan's. We're not European, you know. A 20 1/2" wide seat isn't gonna cut it, Buccies!

Plus, the stadium is so big! I can't walk all those long concourses! They have mild inclines! No thank you, sir! Catwalks make me dizzy! They confiscated my inhaler last time. I nearly choked on my own larynx.

So I'm super happy you're in the playoffs, Bucs. But no way I'm making it to the game. Take heart, men. I'll be cheering you on from my orthopedic chair!
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17 comments:

  1. the Associated Dress9:49 AM, January 02, 2008

    It's a man, baby!

    That shit ain't right. You upload that image, I give you a decade old quote in return.

    ReplyDelete
  2. TurleyGirlie9:51 AM, January 02, 2008

    As a Saints fan...this makes me beyond happy. Thank you, BDD.


    Let's hope Elisha can pull a win out of his ass.

    ReplyDelete
  3. the great bambi9:58 AM, January 02, 2008

    i doubt any bucs fans, or giants fans for that matter, will be at the stadium saturday since the game isn't until sunday...

    ok, douchebaggery over now

    ReplyDelete
  4. Big Daddy Drew10:06 AM, January 02, 2008

    FUCK.

    Fixed it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Unknown10:09 AM, January 02, 2008

    Love the Shiny Pants tag.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Upstate Underdog10:11 AM, January 02, 2008

    I'm guessing that the girl in that picture does not dance at Mons Venus.

    ReplyDelete
  7. 5150cd10:23 AM, January 02, 2008

    See you in hell.

    Love,

    5150

    ReplyDelete
  8. Rant_Casey10:26 AM, January 02, 2008

    Jesus, Allstot really let himself go.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Harry Ballzana10:32 AM, January 02, 2008

    I see camel-toe!

    ReplyDelete
  10. the great bambi10:39 AM, January 02, 2008

    camel toe...more like...elephant toe...BURN

    ReplyDelete
  11. Rant_Casey10:45 AM, January 02, 2008

    Camel Hoof

    ReplyDelete
  12. Grimey10:48 AM, January 02, 2008

    Quick, someone remind her that there's a Carvel stand in the stadium....

    ReplyDelete
  13. Otto Man11:21 AM, January 02, 2008

    The Mangold parents are going to be really torn if the Jets ever play the Bucs.

    ReplyDelete
  14. JAMMQ1:02 PM, January 02, 2008

    Hey BDD, don't you watch games in an orthopedic chair?

    ReplyDelete
  15. shouldBworkin1:03 PM, January 02, 2008

    Who's the tiny dude attempting and apparent fist job?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price4:46 PM, January 02, 2008

    That may or may not be Bubba the Love Sponge.

    But damn if it doesn't look like 90% of the Bay Area.

    ReplyDelete
  17. pain-ther fan2:09 AM, January 03, 2008

    @ turleygirlie

    A win is not the only Elisha would have to pull out of his ass. But I sure hope the Giants beat the Bucs.

    ReplyDelete