Some first-class asshole named Joe Damato wrote into us regarding a satirical post in which we had a fictional David Garrard act as a pimp. Well, Joe noticed an inaccuracy in the post. He writes:
Here's your quote:
"No? Good. Did you know officers, by law, have to answer that last question honestly? Isn't that interesting? Now, if you don't mind, I need to have Tiny here pat you down. TINY!"
Officers don't. If they did, there would be no such thing as an "undercover" officer because numb nut criminals would say..."are you a cop?" and the cop would say "aw shucks.....ya' got me!" There goes the whole idea of "undercover."
Either go to law school or do some research....get your fat asses off of the couch and stop being ignorant.
Just a friendly reminder for whichever one of you douche bags tries to buy some blow or grass from a guy on the street. "Are you a cop?," doesn't work. Morons.
We suggested to Joe that if he can't recognize satire, he should probably go ahead and hang himself. He replied:
If you can't recognize accuracy, then you should keep doing whatever it is you are doing. Fucking morons.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
...
Wait. So...
...
What are we supposed to do again? Is it go to law school, do some research, or keep doing what we're doing?
Hey Joe, guess who's both the dumbest and the most righteous jackass to ever send us an angry email?
You are, asshole. I hope this is the first thing that pops up when someone Googles you. Merry Christmas, cocksucker.
"Boy, the Gay Mafia sure loves the readers!"
ReplyDeleteIt's called humor, Joe.
I wlll now link to this from my blog to help out with that Google idea.
ReplyDeleteAnything to help KSK expose assholes (which is kinda funny considering the writers of KSK...but I digress).
It should also help if I mention Joe Damato here in the comments no? Thanks Joe Damato for all the helpful tips on cops not being able to lie.
ReplyDeleteYou're an idiot Joe Damato.
I wasn't kidding
ReplyDeletehttp://stupidangelos.blogspot.com/
That e-mail was almost as good as the angry one BDD got from that Pats fan a few months ago. I hope BDD has lost his virginity since then.
ReplyDeleteBtw, if you google his name, a porn director comes up....
ReplyDeleteIf you want to be accurate, that picture doesn't show the horse's asshole.
ReplyDelete/Joe Damato
P.S. And it would be a donkey, not a horse.
ReplyDelete- Joe Damato
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_D'Amato
ReplyDeleteApparently he is also a famous Italian porn star... I am really not sure where to go with that.
They teach that in law school?
ReplyDeleteJoe likes his facts the way he likes his men. Cold and hard.
ReplyDeleteESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that Joe Damato recently had his vagina cleaned with a toilet brush and the diarrhea of a homeless man.
ReplyDelete...
ESPN's Chris Mortensen has now learned that Joe Damato was anally raped by the Baltimore Ravens. ESPN's John Clayton also reports that Joe Damato is a twinkling cunt, and that the Cleveland Browns, Arizona Cardinals, Denver Broncos and Jacksonville Jaguars are all interested in servicing him.
Was there any doubt you'd unleash Ufford on this poor bastard? Also, Joe, this damn verification thing spelled "mqueen" wrong. Recognize accuracy, dammit
ReplyDeleteWhat a douche bag.
ReplyDeleteWait...hold on. That was David Garrard?
ReplyDeleteI thought it was Leftwich.
::sigh::
You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.
ReplyDeleteYou say Da-may-to, I say douchenozzle.
Good Christ, this guy mustn't be too familiar with this blog or its commentors. Assuming he signed his real name, he's likely in for a shitstorm of (deserved) bashing and harassment.
ReplyDeleteFuck YOU, Joe Damato!
p.s. Whatever happened to the Ookie lady?
"Yup, these are your readers!"
ReplyDeleteObviously everyone at KSK is a middle school drop out and failure at life. Don't you guys know that blogs should be unquestioned beacons of accuracy?
ReplyDeleteThank God we have Joe Damato to correct you morons. Joe Damato you are clearly the sharpest mind the blogging world has to offer. Joe Damato, why don't you drop by Garrard's joint and get syphilis, on my tab?
Asshole...stop reading
Damn, I thought that was true. Almost bought blow with that info.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you read the blog if you don't understand the jokes? I dislike Joe Damato greatly. Joe Damato should fuck off and die slow.
ReplyDelete"I hope this is the first thing that pops up when someone Googles you. Merry Christmas, cocksucker."
ReplyDeleteI fucking love this blog.
MY MAN JOE WAS JUST BACKIN' ME UP!!!!!!! ACCRACY!
ReplyDelete/STEPHEN A SMITH
Stepehen A. Smith approves of Joe Damato's ability to correct those of us in the blogosphere who are malicious and wreckless with their inaccurate details contained within the parameters of satire along with the inaccurate facts being promulgated by the ineptitude of the nontraditional media.
ReplyDeleteI however, say - fuck off Joe D'Amato.
And in other news...
ReplyDeleteWater is wet.
The sky is blue.
Joe Damato is a self-righteous fuckstick.
Joe, from all of us on the internets, please go grab a nice steaming cup of shut the fuck up.
Back to you KSK.
Getting there...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.google.com/search?&q=%22joe+damato%22
Now if you are more specific...
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22joe+damato%22+is+a+douche
Actually that's the second thing you learn in law school. The first is that whomever smelt it has no, in fact, definitely dealt it.
ReplyDeleteIt must be really confusing to have a very common name like Joe Damato. I mean, with all the thousands of Joe Damatos running around, how does Joe know when someone is referring to him? In all likelihood, there are Joe Damatos out there for whom the following is true:
Joe Damato can fit an entire traffic cone in his rectum, flat end first.
Joe Damato lost his testicles at age 4 in a freak Easy Bake Over accident.
Joe Damato is an expert in the laws of Evidence, having represented himself in numerous bestiality trials in Georgia, commonly referred to as the "Scoping the Monkey" trials.
Joe Damato subsisted for an entire year on nothing but the semen he was able to suck from discarded condoms.
To the tune of "Silent Night"
ReplyDeleteJoe Damato
Joe Damato
suck my cock
give a good blow
spends his days complainin' bout blogs
spends his nights blowin' for egg nog
stick a cock in your aaaaa-ass
sti-ick a cock in your ass
Goddamn, I was looking for some '70's Italian porn and I found this site. What a tease.
ReplyDeleteNobody fucks with the Gay Mafia.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I guess we all now know what it takes to get your name published at KSK...
ReplyDeleteMust suck to be the Gay Mafia then...
ReplyDelete"Hey Joe, guess who's both the dumbest and the most righteous jackass to ever send us an angry email?"
ReplyDeleteDon't ask Joe that, what a stupid question.
Wait, wait. Why isn't Joe's email being publicly distributed for spamming purposes?
ReplyDelete@bstone - I had it in the first draft. I decided to not show all my cards at once.
ReplyDeleteIt seems it shows up in Livingston's link if that is, in fact, the correct Mr. Damato.
ReplyDeleteHopefully this will forever place him in the glory of others who dare cross swords with the Gay Mafia.
ReplyDeletehttp://add.urbandictionary.com/verify.php?code=1aeb3577c9&function=submit
What did his blackberry show as a return address??
ReplyDelete@ capt. caveman
ReplyDeleteGood call. When he sends back the prototypical snobpile lawyer bullshit that involves something about "suing you for libel" then you really release the fucking hounds.
The guy in Livingston's link looks too old to know what a blog is, much less operate a blackberry.
ReplyDeleteWhat does this guy have against mormons anyway?
ReplyDeleteHello folks,
ReplyDeleteYou are using the name Moronic A-Hole for promotional items but must be unaware that my company has a registered trademark for that name. Therefore I am sorry but you should no longer use the name. I appreciate a response.
You can see our trademark Moronic A-Hole at www.joedamatolovesthecock.com
thank you,
Clasina Valkenberg
Not to piss on you people's parade, but I have serious doubts livingston's link is correct. Call it a hunch, but I doubt that a partner at a law firm - especially one who looks like the dude in that picture - is reading KSK, let alone emailing the Gay Mafia about points of law. Spam him if you want, but I think you'd be targeting the wrong guy.
ReplyDeleteAssuming that Joe Damato did NOT send that, then it is the greatest way to Eff with somebody EVAR (intentional misspelling for those that are dense.)
ReplyDeleteGood one Lt. Winslow. Love the Valkenberg throwback.
ReplyDeleteIf the aforementioned lawyer Damato, is the actual Damato, then it is guys like him who give lawyers like us, a douche name. (Did I say like us, I meant like other lawyers).
Yes, some partners at law firms read KSK.
We're gonna delete the Livingston link in case that's the wrong JD. We don't want to harass innocent people.
ReplyDeleteJust stupid innocent people.
No offense, Livingston but we went ahead and pulled your comment. That's not the same guy and we don't want some white-shoe DC law firm on our ass because one of their partners is getting hate mail intended for someone else.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, carry on.
So this guy's really a lawyer and his rebuttal is "If you can't recognize accuracy, then you should keep doing whatever it is you are doing. Fucking morons"? I really hope I come across this guy for my next DUI. Or public disturbance. Whichever comes first.
ReplyDeleteGood move flub. I'm sure you know partners are vultures who will happily crack the whip harder on their associate underlings just so they can devote their time to starting shit over something like this.
ReplyDelete@pepster: I actually got three partners at the firm where I was a summer associate addicted to KSK. Though as far as I know, none of them have ever commented on here. And they were definitely not douchebags like Joe D'Amato appears to be.
well i dont know - joe did kind of call bullshit - and that is bullshit.
ReplyDeletefraid he kind of nailed you on this one, fair and square.
Joe Damato:
ReplyDeleteDouche
Fag
Piece of Shit
Racist
KKK
Child Molester
Homo
Punk Bitch
Pig Fucker
Motherfucker
Baby Raper
Old Lady Rapist
There. That should take care of some Google cross references for future cyber-stalkers of Joe Damato.
Well, that didn't really work as I had intended. Fuck it. At least I tried. Like Joe Damato tries to masturbate his asshole with baseball bats.
ReplyDeleteIf you Google Joe Damato properly, KSK is third. Damn apostrophes. And Italian porn stars. Google hogs.
ReplyDeleteJoe Damato-
ReplyDeleteChoke on a cock and die.
South Boston?
ReplyDeleteYeah South Boston, who fawged yoah transcript?
I say we visualize ripping Joe's nutsack off and shoving it on his head like a beret. What a floater in the toilet bowl of life.
ReplyDeleteAre we doing a google bomb? I love those things, especially for fucktards like Joe Damato.
Remind me never to cross you Dusty.
ReplyDeleteOr just make sure you're always baked.
Christ, I am baked now ;)I find my comments flow better when I read this blog stoned.
ReplyDeleteclamato>damato
ReplyDeleteand clamato fucking blows.
@ken dynamo
ReplyDeleteno, you don't get it either.
It was SATIRE. FUCK.
read it over and over again until you can wrap your head around that concept.
Joe Damato learned everything he knows from "Manswers"
ReplyDeleteHey Joe Damato,
ReplyDeleteNice job. Hope you gag on your perception how funny a douchebag you are.
"Merry Christmas, cocksucker."
ReplyDelete...is exactly what appears on Bobby Knight's Christmas card, just under the family photo.
Joe Damato is a poopface
ReplyDelete