Here's this week's Doug & Doug fantasy report. I suppose it's pertinent here to mention that the Yahoo! Tank Desert Classic Championship will be played this weekend between me (BradyQuinn HandParty) and Maj (I Forgot My Mantra). There's a lot on the line. Winner gets either a free shirt or a free trophy. I picked the shirt. I'm not confident I chose well. I just found a shirt to be more practical. Anyway, here's how we match up:
QB Advantage: Maj
RB Advantage: Maj
WR Advantage: Drew
TE Advantage: Maj
K Advantage: Even
DEF Advantage: Drew
Height: Drew
Weight: Drew
Reach: Drew
Intelligence: Drew
Penile Length And Girth: Drew
Swarthiness: Maj
Sperm Count: Drew
Classic Roman Good Looks: Drew
Hair: Drew
Inherent Likability: Drew
Teeth Whiteness: Drew
Vaginal Depth: Drew (Maj edit)
Tough call. But we'll settle it all on the field on Sunday. Actually, other people will settle it on the field for us. But you get the idea. Oh, and FUCK MAJ.
BradyQuinn HandParty
ReplyDeleteHey, what else are you supposed to do when you're backing up Derrek Anderson.
Projected score: BDD 91, UM 90.
ReplyDeleteI also have Grant, Addai and Dawson in my line-up so I'll take UM plus the points.
Number of blogs: Maj
ReplyDeleteNot that this link has anything to do with sports - unless a cheerleader is involved or Brady Quinn.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.lifescript.com/channels/healthy_living/Health_Conditions/can_oral_sex_cause_throat_cancer.asp?utm_campaign=2007-12-20&utm_source=healthy-advantage&utm_medium=email&utm_content=healthy-well-wise_can-oral-sex-cause-thr&FromNL=1
I'm going with Maj based solely on my fellow ownership of Addai and Calvin going into my money league championship, the Tree-Fiddy Bowl.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it comes down to Sage or VY at quarterback, and I'm stumped...which means money wise I'm probably fucked.
Plus, my opposing QB is Kurt Warner, and he likes his women to look a little mannish. So there's no way he'll be hooking up with Jessica Simpson this week.
Can't you also start a RB at that W/R position? i feel like even a halfway decent runningback does better than a good WR, points wise.
ReplyDeletepemulis, have you SEEN the running backs this year? Or have you been inhaling too much jenkem?
ReplyDeleteI'll be keeping Kolby Smith on the bench, thank ya very much.
i didnt see your bench before i commented, but i could see why you'd think i was on the butt hash
ReplyDeleteBy the way, upon review, the Chaps/Mantra match-up from last week was abhorrent. One guy just wanted it a little less.
ReplyDeleteLet's put it this way - if Maj is Cult of Personality, then Drew is Cliffs of Dover. Quite what that means, I'm as stumped as you are. I think I meant that Drew is constructed primarily from chalk while Maj is Joseph Stalin reincarnated, but I'm probably the last person to know what I'm talking about. I'm out of the playoffs in every single league I'm in, including the NBA one. Fuck if I know how.
ReplyDeleteI'll take Drew because of the Kenny Watson/Steven Jackson connection. Also, you might want to pick up a TE that doesn't play for a team coached by Brian Billick, just a hunch.
ReplyDeleteI'll tak Maj simply because he had to suffer through the semis with Tom Brady just as I did. Going into the playoffs I was thinking, "hey, Brady against the Jets in the semis and Dolphins in the finals - Perfect." Lucky I was playing against Romo and Westbrook in the semis (and yes, his falling down at the 1 was important).
ReplyDeleteIf Drew is in fact a man, he does not HAVE a vagina, and therefore, doesn't have any "Vaginal Depth."
ReplyDeleteEither go to medical school, or do some goddamn anatomy research... get your fat asses off the couch and stop being ignorant. Morons.
- Joe Damato
DUI Cats has Schorno written all over it.
ReplyDeleteNo better way to guarantee you will lose a fantasy football game than to start talking trash.
Fucking Fantasy Football.
Grumble
Are you playing against a bunch of fucking invalids? How on god's green earth did you end up with S-Jax AND LJ... coupled with Chad and TO? Did nobody else show up to the draft or did you just pay them off with promises of quinn-esque penis touching?
ReplyDeleteGood Luck BDD. May the flea eggs of a thousand flea's nest in Maj's skivvies.
ReplyDeleteps..now you will lose your ass after talking that much shit, as you said yourself..its a given.
That music brought a tear to my eye.
ReplyDeleteAre you playing against a bunch of fucking invalids? How on god's green earth did you end up with S-Jax AND LJ...did you just pay them off . . .
ReplyDeleteNo . . . they just decided to let a commenter in the league, and a girl at that.
Girls should only be used as semen receptacles.
-Travis Henry
T-shirt=wrong choice. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, T-shirts are more "practical", if a) you are in a homeless league, b) your league consists of the valedictorian, salutatorian, and the next eight of the same high-school class in the same town you all live in now, or c) you get a size XS and force the winner to wear it on at least 5 occasions before the next fantasy draft. Otherwise... dude, the trophy. Really.
Goddamn captcha requires more thought than this blog....
"Are you playing against a bunch of fucking invalids? How on god's green earth did you end up with S-Jax AND LJ... coupled with Chad and TO? "
ReplyDeleteI traded for S-Jax when he was hurt and looking at a long time out. I drafted LJ-CJ-TO in rounds 1-3.
As a fellow Ocho Stinko owner, I hope he enjoys the offseason by vacationing in Aruba with Van der Sloot and the Kalpoe brothers. Fuckhead.
ReplyDelete