The Sports Gal Speaks! And Analyzes The Patriots Cheerleaders!

Oh my God, Britney Spears is such a WHORE! I can’t even imagine what those poor kids must go through every day. Why is she out clubbing? I went to clubs before Bill and I got married and they weren’t so cool. It’s just everyone packed together and YUCK!

I can’t believe Kate Walsh isn’t on Grey’s Anatomy anymore. Now it’s just Meredith and her dopey sister. They don’t even look alike! Like a surgical intern would be that pretty! My God! And all they do is talk talk talk. Don’t you hate people who talk all the time like that? I hate people who talk all the time like that. People who just repeat the same stuff over and over again? That really bothers me, when people repeat the same stuff over and over again. And they’re not talking about anything interesting! That’s what kills me! If you’re gonna talk so much, say something interesting!

Oh my God, I saw Cameron Diaz yesterday! We live in LA now!

Did you see those nude photos of that High School Musical girl? Oh my God, what a little trollop! I don’t even watch that show, or is it a movie? I don’t know. But why is she letting guys take pictures of her naked? I’d never let Bill do that, even though he asks me ALL THE TIME! I’m never doing that again after what happened that one time in Vermont!

Oh my God! Look at these Patriot cheerleaders!


Oh, please! Like these weren’t photoshopped. No real girl looks like that! Whores. Like they don’t all have eating disorders. The one the left isn’t even that pretty. Am I right? And this one on the beach:


Gimme a break. Like that suit wouldn’t fall off three seconds after going into the water. And no one’s that naturally tan. I’m sorry, but it’s true. And what is this?


Like a mink? Or a sweater? Or both? That’s not practical. I’ll stick to my sweatpants, thank you very much. These girls so aren’t hot. And Bill totally agrees with me. Bill is far more happy to masturbate in front of a mirror wearing a Jimmy Kimmel mask! Sometimes he’ll finish up and ask me if I can give him a ruling. I don’t know what that means. Bill likes to go to battered woman shelters. He says it’s an unintentional comedy goldmine. I’m not sure he’s ever watched an actual comedy. I wonder if he’d like it, or if it would confuse him! Bill's iPhoto library contains 2,000 pictures of himself and no one else. I think he does his podcast in the nude.

Bill watches 18 hours of TV a day. But that's okay with me, because I smoke LOADS of weed. He also like recording his voice into a tape recorder and then slowing it way down. He says it makes him feel better.

I wish Bill would stop going to Vegas every other weekend with Blueboy. I know they say it’s just for fun. But then when I ask him what they did, he’s always fuzzy on the details. One time I thought he was cheating, so I followed him there. Only they didn’t drive to Vegas! They drove to Shutters in Santa Monica and got a room for the night! What’s up with that! I saw them walk out of the room to get ice holding hands and wearing matching Celtics jerseys with no pants on. Sometimes he tells me the world would be better off if all the women were eliminated.

God, men are so weird!