KSK Celebrity Pickkake: The Fed

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in the Pink Taco! Up next, it's the Federal Reserve!

The Federal Open Market Committee has decided to set its target for the professional football championship as follows: New England 41, New York 35.

The Committee took this action in view of a weakening of the defensive personnel of both clubs and increasing downside risks to offensive ejaculation. While strains in short-term ball control have eased somewhat, broader conditions have continued to deteriorate and point scoring has showed tightening like the anus of a small, traumatized child. Moreover, incoming information indicates a deepening of passing-game contraction as well as some softening in offensive line play.

With that in mind, The Federal Open Market Committee has decided to revise its target for the professional football championship as follows: New England 21, New York 17.

The Committee expects officiating to moderate in coming quarters, but it will be necessary to continue to monitor masturbatory developments carefully.

Appreciable downside risks to passing on first down remain. The Committee will continue to assess the effects of slower white players and other developments on special teams and will act in a timely manner as needed to address those risks.

And, in keeping with that timeliness, The Federal Open Market Committee has decided to re-revise its target for the professional football championship as follows: New England 10, New York 3.