"I've spent all my retirement equivocating at various podia"[But Favre conceded he might have a tough decision to make if, say, Green Bay called and asked him to come back because of team injuries.
"It would be hard to pass up, I guess," he said. " . . . It's only speculating. I think the world of that team. I had a lot of fun, not only this year, but over my career. Those guys I played with this past year, a lot of young guys, a lot of fun."]
[Undisclosed location]
Tramonto: First we must agree on terms.
Peter King: Name your price.
Tramonto: $25,000 Starbucks gift card.
King: Outrageous. I won't go above 15.
Tramonto: 25
King: 15
Tramonto: 25
King: 15
Tramonto: 25
King: 15
Tramonto: 15
King: 25
Tramonto: It is a deal.
[King smiles]
King: Excellent. I need you to eliminate this one.
[Hands over photo]
[Tramonto drags on cigarette]
Tramonto: I see.
Of what interest is this man to you?
King: Yours is not to ask why, yours is to do and make him die!
[Exhales]
He is no one. His life merely is an obstacle to bringing back my Bretty Boy.
But show him mercy. Make it fast. He is, after all, a white quarterback playing for the Packers. His sin is only bestowed upon him by circumstance. Perhaps in another life, he could have been worthy of my admiration.
Tramonto: It is done.
[King laughs girlishly and begins clapping frantically]
Wait, why is John Holmes in a Packers jersey?
ReplyDeleteWas that photo taken on the set of How Stella Got Her Tube Packed?
Ah, Del Monte.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy them, young man. They will be... your last.
I see you prefer the Bugs Bunny style of negotiating. Well played.
ReplyDeleteRetire already, Brett.
Why is Johnny Holmes playing for the Packers?
ReplyDeleteI thought Starbucks gift cards only came in $100 denominations and above.
ReplyDeleteDamn you, otto man!
ReplyDeleteWait, Brett Favre retired? Shouldn't ESPN have mentioned this?
ReplyDeletesweet god look at that stache
ReplyDelete@ otto, thank you for the john holmes reference
ReplyDeleteid be willing to bet any amount of money that king actually negotiates like that in real life...
Ape, if Rodgers goes down, I'm calling you a genius.
ReplyDeleteYou are way more talented than these losers, ape. Why hang with them? They are only holding you down. you should move on.
ReplyDeleteI was absolutely serious when I retired from telling Favre to go fuck himself. But I've had so much fun hanging out with these other young guys, telling Favre to go fuck himself, that given the right opportunity . . .
ReplyDeleteWoodley vs Thompson 2
ReplyDeleteBut show him mercy. Make it fast. He is, after all, a white quarterback playing for the Packers. His sin is only bestowed upon him by circumstance. Perhaps in another life, he could have been worthy of my admiration.