Two little mice, fell in a bucket of cream. The. First Mouse, quickly gave up, and drowned. The second mouse. Wouldn't quit. He... struggled, so hard. That eventually, he churned. That cream into butter. And crawled out.
Gentlemen. As of this moment, I am dropping. That. Second mouse? Into. A tank of piranha.
Death by piranha? Yeah, that would suck. But for my money, the toothpick fish is the badass of the Amazon.
ReplyDelete/Reggie Nelson
I call shenanigans. If cartoons (read: Itchy and Scratchy) have taught me anything, it's that a piranha attack takes the form of a large swirling crowd of fish that strip their prey down to its skeleton in a circular motion; the skeleton then looks down at itself and shrieks. This looks nothing like that.
ReplyDeleteThat has to be the least kid-friendly Stuart Little video I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteI. Think about, you. When I, masturbate. Where. Are you, going?
ReplyDeleteMike Vick approves
ReplyDeleteI've suddenly lost my taste for mouse.
ReplyDeletePunctuation is perfect for Christopher Walken.
ReplyDeletePERFECT
Jeez, it took those lazy-ass fish long enough.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis is like watching porn at work without the threat of getting fired.
ReplyDeleteI always wondered what it looked like when Bill Conlin's family descended onto a free buffett. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteWait, you cut out Walken's scene where he danced a little jig!
ReplyDeleteQuite Strength - I will now have nightmares about about the fucking fish until I die.
ReplyDeleteThe ball is now in BDD's court.
ReplyDeleteThe sequel to Ratatouille?
ReplyDeleteRat. Had it. Coming?
That video reminds me of the "competitve balance" in baseball.
ReplyDeleteThe piranha (Yankees/Red Sox/Mets) rip apart the mice (about 20 teams) for food (talent) and leave nothing but a carcass (shitty team) sinking to the bottom of the tank (standings).
Best. Kill. Kill. Kill. Ever.
ReplyDeletePolar bear vs Piranhas WHO YA GOT?
@winston
ReplyDeleteStop, just stop. We've already determined that when the king of the sea (shark) and the king of the land (polar bear meet) the only deciding factor would be home field advantage.
Hence, no one is going to take the polar bear out on land and vice versus in the sea.
This is all of course using the "pound for pound" style of fighting. Because aint nobody doing anything to a killer whale.
@rally
ReplyDeleteI prefer to think of the piranhas as the Giants d-line and the mouse as Tom Brady.
If only Super Bowl 42 was as gruesome. >:D
@wormfather
ReplyDeleteGiant squid would kick the crap out of a killer whale, even with home field/ocean advantage.
@marmatard
If you were a Pats fan, it was just as gruesome. Only they thought Brady had a chance, nobody gave the mouse a shot.
Hilarious writing, creepy video.
ReplyDelete/adds "crushing all that hot stewardess ass" to everyday vocabulary
ReplyDeleteBrilliant
I...I'm surprisingly sad about that video. I'm cool with all of the other Kill Kill Kill videos because, for the most part, the other animal had the chance to escape if they were fast enough. But that little mouse? He was fucked, man. And who tapes this shit? A pox on their family.
ReplyDelete/poxes all over his family
The most messed up part was seeing that poor little mouse try to get away with only 3 legs. Okay, who am I kidding? I rather enjoyed that.
ReplyDeleteI gotta say, I was pulling for the mouse.
ReplyDeleteI think I need to spend more time in church.
Hours later, I'm still pretty torn up about this. What the fuck has happened to me?
ReplyDeletefuk'd up.
ReplyDeleteWrong wrong wrong, that is what, we have seen here...today.