Somebody put a stopwatch on this young upstart.
Snyder likes the cut of his jib.
I learned something today. Namely, that in 1958, NFL broadcasts were sponsored by Marlboro and America was an awesome place to be. Just watching this old commercial makes me want to drive a Packard, drink scotch and listen to be-bop on the Hi-Fi.
Pay special attention to the cartoon mascots of the era:
- The Redskins mascot: probably the most racist thing in the history of Western Civilization. If D.W. Griffith had been alive when this thing was made, he would have said "are you sure we can't tone this down a scoch?"
- The Packers proxy is a cleaver wielding maniac. How did Marlboro anticipate Jeffrey Dahmer's reign of terror in Wisconsin?
- True story: the Cleveland Browns mascot is played by a young Dennis Kucinich.
- As this commercial was made during the twentieth century, there is no reference to a Boston pro football franchise.
Words to live by: "the better the makins, the better the smoke." Who knew the Maj was cribbing wisdom from Chris Schenkel?
I had no clue the 49er's used Yosemite Sam as as their mascot.
ReplyDeletethe Pittsburgh mascot has a look on his face like he just saw Steely McBeam for the first time.
ReplyDeleteThe Cleveland Brownie really wants to be a dentist.
ReplyDeleteI think a young Jerry Jones was the inspiration for that Niner's mascot.
ReplyDeleteSomeone might want to inform Mr. Schenkel that he is in fact indoors and can take off the trench coat.
Do tan trench coats = credibility? How has Hillary Clinton not exploited this fact yet?
@jeffrey
ReplyDeleteCarl Monday wears a tan trench coat, so they must equal credibility.
How I wish it were still the 50s... not only would flagrant racism be socially acceptable, but I could just get married and settle down to make Velveeta casseroles and vacuum in my pearls rather than having to pretend I'm interested in, like, a career and junk.
ReplyDeleteRedskins mascot: still offensive after all these years. I should know; I'm one sixty-fourth Choctaw, and one thirty-second tchotchke.
ReplyDeleteWhy dont you get Malboro to sponsor the site? Just a suggestion. I'm sure they'd at least listen...maybe even pay you guys like $10.00 a month.
ReplyDeleteSchenkel's love for Marlboro was the reason he gave up Pro Football and moved to the Pro Bowlers Tour full time. He loved watching guys take a drag as they rolled a 7-10 split.
ReplyDeletewormfather, Marlboro only wanted to pay us in loosies. we have our standards.
ReplyDeletefuturemrsrickankiel-
ReplyDelete/insert pearl necklace joke here
I'm so sorry dear.
What's a jib?
ReplyDeleteAhh... I come for the football, but I stay for the dirty jokes.
ReplyDeleteA jib is the triangular sail in front of the main mast on a sailboat or yacht. Yes, I'm an asshole for knowing that.
And remember, for all of our Negro customers, Marlboro makes the best mentholated cigarette in the land
ReplyDeleteIs that Leitch playing the emo/gay Cardinal?
ReplyDeleteElvis...was a hero to most but he naver gave shit to me the straight out sucker was racist just simple and plain, muthafuck him and John Wayne.
ReplyDeleteGood riddance to the 50s.
That Steelers mascot has a penis on the end of his chin.
ReplyDeleteAh, the Baltimore Colts. It's been so very long since I've heard that. Music to my ears.
ReplyDeleteAnd why, in god's name, is it possible, in 2008, that the Redskins are still called that?!?
@futuremrs: Ah, the good old days. Then again, many of my classmates at UVA were working conscientiously toward their Mrs. degrees, so there are those among us still living the dream. I'm guessing you had your share of those at Princeton as well.
ReplyDeleteLooking at that made me realize how totally fagaliciously lame the Steelers were to have won absolutely nothing until Chuck Noll came on the scene. There were only 3 teams (okay, 12) in the whole freakin' NFL!! How do you NOT win a championship in 40 years? And Cowher looks even gayer as the Steeler's mascot than he does in that America's Game commercial.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the 'Skins need to change their name & mascot, blah, blah, blah. As soon as America lives up to the words in the Declaration of Independence...
Marlboro provides us with EVERY TEAM in the league?
ReplyDeleteI'd better start smoking.
Are you paying over $5 for each pack of cigs? I buy my cigarettes from Duty Free Depot and I save over 60%.
ReplyDelete