mood: downcast :/song: "Mad World" Michael Andrews
You mean to tell me all the other teams in the NFC East now have at least three Super Bowl titles and we have none?! Making the lacuna that is our trophy case all the more crushing, a void that stares back at you with mascara-lined eyes. This really very nearly curdles the arrival of the new Portishead album.
Why should I be happy for New York? Why should I be happy at all? It's antithetical to Iggles fandom. Next thing you tell me, sports should be something you enjoy rather than a reinforcement of your bleak worldview. I don't buy it.
Now, really. You guys didn't need to beat New England, did you? I mean, who does that? You did it our way the first time in the regular season by falling agonizingly short. Why bother doing a crazy thing like winning? We'd already dispatched Arlen Specter to sap their credibility. That's how you're supposed to hurt teams, with passive-aggressive assaults months after the fact.
To steal a phrase, their quarterback grew up against the Pats; our quarterback threw up. Meanwhile, the Mets just wrapped up the NL East by signing Johan Santana.
It's enough to make a guy brood silently and contemplate his mortality as it relates to the unfeeling universe.
[Sighs] Fucking Eagles.
I thik you give Philly fans a little too much credit in the "ability to put a sentence together" department.
ReplyDeleteI WAS QUOTED BY XMAS APE ON A REAL LIVE POST!!!!!1
ReplyDelete*swoons*
Bills = the Eagles of the AFC East
ReplyDelete*sighs*
Fuck... being an Eagles fan does suck.
ReplyDeleteBut suck it Ape, the Mets aren't winning shit. Don't tell anyone we discussed baseball here.
/chucks snowball at Santa Claus, batteries at JD Drew
Donovan McNabb DOES NOT approve of this message.
ReplyDelete/Throws up in huddle
tom h,
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if that's a good thing, since the post would seem to imply that you're a whiny bitch.
These two look like the meth-cooking teacher and student from Breaking Bad on AMC.
ReplyDelete/best show on TV right now
Thanks for reminding me what a depressing franchise I've chosen to support, Ape!
ReplyDeleteBartender, I'll have what Mr. Ledger's having. And make it a double.
("/fucking eagles" = new t-shirt)
Breaking Bad is fucking FABULOUS. Fantastic television experience. Nice to know I'm not the only one watching it.
ReplyDelete+1 Naptown
/threadjack
We are nowhere and it's now
ReplyDeleteNo one with a mustache that awesome can truly be sad.
ReplyDelete/I've seen 1 ep of Breaking Bad and thought it was great, but I'm a douche so I never followed up on it.
@mexico
ReplyDeleteAMC is posting full episodes (1&2)here. Episode 2 is even better than the first.
NSFW
@Naptown - Thanks, my boss here at the Manhole is pretty understanding.
ReplyDeletesong: "Mad World" Michael Andrews
ReplyDeleteYou know, there's a joke here to be made about "Donnie Darko" and McNabb, but Tommy from Quinzee just doesn't have the heart for it anymore.
OH FUCK YOU
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize that EVERY FUCKING TEAM in the division has 3 titles, to our (as Wilbon would say, squadouche). Oh well its not like we haven't won a title in 20+ years, oh wait!
/slits wrists (emo style)
oh cmonnn, this wasnt necessary. cant we all just...hate the giants and patriots? its hard enough being an eagles fan
ReplyDelete/eats cheesesteak covered in tears
Will Leitch in an alternate universe where he was born in Doylestown instead of Mattoon.
ReplyDelete@cousins
ReplyDeleteI believe you are mistaken...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Pbfs2lYM2sQ
@mamula blues - He didn't feel bad, he felt emancipated.
ReplyDelete/classic
I feel like "No Joy in Mudville" by Death Cab would also be a fitting musical accompaniment to this post.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, as Valentine's Day approaches, it would be most enjoyable to have some more posts ripping those saccharine jewelry commercials we're all subjected to in droves this time of year.
/not bitter I swear
That's a right fine idea, Futuremrs.
ReplyDeleteAsk and ye shall receive, FutureMrs.
ReplyDeleteAlas, I cannot partake of even the most delectable YouTube goodies at work, but I'll sneak a peek at that later...
ReplyDeleteThe guy on the left looks more child molester-ish than emo, I think.
ReplyDeleteLes Savy Ferd said...
Bills = the Eagles of the AFC East
You just made me very sad.
You know, the Eagles are kinda stinking up the NFC East as far as Super Bowl titles go. Maybe when the league realigned we should have kept the Cardsinals. I mean, what would be the difference? When WAS their last title? 1960?
ReplyDeleteAllen Iverson was the best football player in that city anyway.
That is "Cardinals" in English (even though the way they play is a sin).
ReplyDeleteI think most of us Eagles fans have pretty much accepted the fact that we're not ever winning one.
ReplyDeleteWell, the Eagles won title in 48,49 and 60. Doesn't that count ?
ReplyDeleteI'll not have you dismiss the new Portishead album that blithely, Sir.
ReplyDelete@gonzo - Every time I've seen someone else make that argument, it gets shot down because it was pre-Super Bowl era. Ask any Giants, Cowboys, or Redskins fan and they'll repeat that mantra until their lips fall off.
ReplyDelete@gonzo: Apparently the emergence of the Super Bowl automatically invalidated every championship won before then. (At least for those teams who've won a Super Bowl.)
ReplyDelete/fucking Eagles