Friday Evening...
Me: Hi, Eli. Matt. Nice to meet you. Can I get a picture?
Eli Manning: Sure.
Me: Thanks.
Eli: ...
Me: Wow. You're really tall. That doesn't come across on television.
Eli: Well, everyone else is tall, too.
Me: Ah. Well, good luck on Sunday... night, is it?
Eli: Yup. Thanks.
SCORE!
ReplyDeleteUfford, I'm shocked, I would've expected your smile to be a lot more forced than his was. But Eli beats you in the forced smile department by a long shot.
ReplyDeleteFirst Namath, now Eli. That's a polar to polar leap across the sexuality spectrum of New York quarterbacks.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to the t-shirt and blazer look?
ReplyDeleteI see Ufford has been studying Simmons' head shot.
ReplyDeleteNow, you need to get a shot w/Grossman...since he has nothing else to do with his time....
ReplyDeleteYour lowly position as blog commenter makes it impossible for me to respect your scorn
ReplyDeleteWe need a "forgetting your roots" tag to go with that.
What's the chances of those two guys running into to each other on Fire Island ?
ReplyDeleteI see Ufford has been studying Simmons' head shot.
ReplyDeleteYes, I've been practicing smiling and being white. It's like we're the same person!
Your top button appears to have fallen off.
ReplyDeleteEli has the uneasy smile of a gentile at his first bar mitzvah
ReplyDeleteScorn. Scorn. Scorn.
ReplyDeleteHow convenient. Any other time there'd be a "gay gay gay" or "gay quarterbacks" tag. Drew, we need 20ccs of editing privelegs, stat.
ReplyDeleteAlso, that stupid look on his face* makes it even harder to believe he beat the Eagles last night. Oh yeah, Winston Justice. Disregard.
ReplyDelete*Eli's face. Ufford, I could never disparage your translucent handsomeness.
Wow, you're short CC.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletethe pirate sloth: Wow, you're short CC.
ReplyDeleteUfford: Well, everyone else is short, too.
"Fuck you he's a nice boy"?
ReplyDeleteDamn, I wish Eli was like Vick.
all that signing bonus money and he still wears his dad's suits.
ReplyDeletewierd.
Off topic, but I'm thinking after Griese's performance yesterday we might see a "return of the Sex Cannon" post this week.
ReplyDeleteEli's sporting the forced grin because years of conditioning here in NYC have him expecting a sucker punch at any moment.
ReplyDeleteEli obviously thought he was talking to Richard Patrick.
ReplyDeleteHey Man, Nice Shot
Besides being a blogger, who knew Ufford also acted in a Wrigley's Extra gum commercial?
ReplyDeleteWhy are you standing in a hole?
ReplyDeleteCC, nice chest ha... oh wait a minute...forget it.
ReplyDeleteAnd Eli looks like he needs to take a crap all over the Eagles again to get that constipated look off of his face.
Besides being a blogger, who knew Ufford also acted in a Wrigley's Extra gum commercial?
ReplyDeleteCan't be. That guy doesn't have a receding hairline.
Huh. Manning's 6'4? I always thought he was shorter. Maybe he wears crocs instead of cleats?
ReplyDeleteDid you feel weird the first time you went out wearing a blazer over a tee-shirt or an open shirt like that? When you first got into it, did you wear the same blazer each time or did you dive in head first and buy like three different ones?
ReplyDeleteI bet Eli was nervous to too. What with having his picture taken with his idol Johnny Bravo an all.
ReplyDeleteSweet eyebrows.
ReplyDeleteWhen you first got into it, did you wear the same blazer each time or did you dive in head first and buy like three different ones?
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm a grown man living in one of the world's largest cities. I own several sets of big-boy clothes. But I'm sure you have a much better sense of what I should wear, anonymous sports fan.
"Well, I'm a grown man living in one of the world's largest cities. I own several sets of big-boy clothes. But I'm sure you have a much better sense of what I should wear, anonymous sports fan."
ReplyDeleteMore specifically in the borough where blazers are required, even if you're wearing a t-shirt!
You know Eli fucked him.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm a grown man living in one of the world's largest cities. I own several sets of big-boy clothes. But I'm sure you have a much better sense of what I should wear, anonymous sports fan.
ReplyDeleteGeez, a simple "FUCK YOU" would have worked. I'm not sure why you feel like I attacked your sense of style. It was just a question from an anonymous blazer-curious sports fan.
Oh. Sorry, awful chief. I didn't realize anyone was being sincere in this thread.
ReplyDeleteHey, you're cute- Or Fetus Face's Brother just makes you look good.
ReplyDeleteEither way I'm kind of surprised...at your cuteness and Manning's awful suite/tie combo circa New Bedford MA 1982. He looks like he's headed to the VFW for a Confirmation celebration.
That picture is metro-fabulous.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, which one of you won the Battle of the Chins?
ReplyDeleteCalm down about the suit jacket, people. Uff is still the same blogger you've always known and loved. And, by that, I mean he's not wearing pants.
ReplyDeleteAlso, add headgear and blond hair, and Eli would look just like Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles. Hott.
ReplyDeleteEli: "Sorry to hear about you and Britney."
ReplyDeleteCC: "Um, I'm not--yeah, it was tough. But I'm working through it."
Eli: "I sure liked those Nationwide commercials, though."
CC: "Um, thanks. Hey, I have a blog--"
Eli: "Could you get me in one of those commercials? I'm trying to catch up with Pey-Pey."
CC: "Um, I'm not actually Fed--wait, you call your brother Pey-Pey?"
Eli, just at the moment the above photo was taken: "Um, I'm not actually Eli Manning."
I see Eli is trying out the cheaper end of the escort market.
ReplyDeleteCC: I was in the Marines.
ReplyDeleteEM: Really?
CC: Yeah, I tell people every chance I get.
EM: That's cool.
CC: I fought for your fucking freedom, you know.
EM: Well, um, thanks for doing that. I was going to join the Marines, but they said they don't let (mumbles something incoherent).
CC: What was that last part?
EM: Nothing. Let's get that picture taken, huh? (smiles awkwardly)
Eli Manning in: The Land of Inferior Brothers:
ReplyDeletehttp://kitnaback.blogspot.com/2007/09/eli-manning-in-land-of-inferior.html
Sorry, couldn't resist the plug considering the timing.
no, yum
ReplyDeleteThis is like getting your picture taken with Frank Stallone. Totally unimpressive and pretty sad.
ReplyDelete+1 Dick
ReplyDeleteIt's not like I expected you to do it, or anything Matt, but a quick Jay Feeley jab or even "Hey, even a drunken Scott Norwood with vertigo, who had to pee REALLY bad, would have nailed at least ONE of those three field goals."
ReplyDeleteI say that, knowing full well I'd have been just as polite as you in the same situation.
Bad form comparing Matt to Simmons.
ReplyDeleteAfter all, I'm sure Matt is doing better than having 5,300 people pick NFL games better than him against the spread.
http://games.espn.go.com/pigskin/group?groupID=10463&entryIDFrom=25746&startPos=5300
The question is, was this a Guillotine or a Stomach Punch?
You totally had your hands on each other's ass, didn't you?
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you have a much better sense of what I should wear, anonymous sports fan.
ReplyDeleteMe-owwww!
Watch out, boys. This kitten's got claws!
I don't know why, but I've always pictured the Marines to have a minimum height requirement. Maybe they add your smartass quotient to get you to the big boy line. Or maybe THE UFF stood on his tippy toes?
ReplyDeleteI've always pictured KSK comments to have a minimum humor content requirement. Guess we were both wrong, deafjeff.
ReplyDeleteAt least Eli looks showered.
ReplyDeleteThe guy on the right cleaned my windshield the other day and asked for money.
ReplyDeleteI just want to point something out to you snobs and ne'er do wells. When you guys were criticizing Rex, did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe Lovie was playing his terrible, pansexual, substance-huffing gator ass for a reason?? We're not dumb, he really was our best option.
ReplyDeleteI've always pictured the Marines to have a minimum height requirement. Maybe they add your smartass quotient to get you to the big boy line.
ReplyDeleteWow, it's almost like professional athletes with athletic pedigrees are taller than average folk who serve their country for less than minimum wage!
Where did YOU serve, cock?
Damn man, Uff's turning the Douchebag knob to 11.
ReplyDeleteCalm down, spaz.
Wow, it's almost like professional athletes with athletic pedigrees are taller than average folk who serve their country for less than minimum wage!
ReplyDeleteI understand your point here and everything, but what does income have to do with height?
what does income have to do with height?
ReplyDeleteMore than you might think, if this article is correct.
fuck you he's a nice boy
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother used to say that about me all the time.
Pretty pretty please tell me that Fenway is a chick. Otherwise, this thread went from hostile to awkward in less time then it takes Eli's brother to find a companion at the bath-house.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it's the looks on their faces (Eli/nervous that he's gonna have to put out, CC/certain that he's going to get some tonight) or what, but there's something about this picture that makes it look like it was taken at a senior prom.
ReplyDeleteIf you noticed, the deaf in deafjeff, I'm deaf, wouldn't make a good soldier. But unless I am mistaken, there is no draft. That means, I think, you vounteered. Unless you a retard, you sort of knew what you getting into. I do appreciate you serving though.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure which one makes Ufford braver? Joining the marines, or posting a picture of himself on KSK?
ReplyDeleteTo whichever commenter that was trashing Eli's suit... I'd guess that suit cost more than your car.
EM (To Himself): "Just keep thinking about that joke that Jeffords told me at the Downtown Athletic Club last night. The one about the Negro and the Jewish fellow..."
ReplyDeleteFirst Elisha & Pey-Pey... That's just golden.
ReplyDeleteThank you for giving me that.