Reader Slimmons (A Marine! Fuck yeah!) sends us these authentic OJ Simpson print ads from the 1970's. Just in time for OJ's latest Western adventure strongarming people in their hotel rooms. I have no idea why they art directed an extra right leg into each of these ads. I'm just assuming OJ likes having a spare limb handy. Some quick advice from the Juice in this ad:
Boots have to look great, but they also have to be made for whatever you're going to be doing in them.
Thanks, Juice! Too bad Bruno Magli shoes aren't made the same way.
And flubby dug up this comic book ad for OJ's Juicemobile multi-purpose shoes. Built for fleeing!
And, lastly, here's an old douche ad that has nothing to do with anything. But it's about douche, so who am I to resist?
Fir...
ReplyDeleteJust kidding. Maybe that's really not an extra leg, but the real reason why the white women have always been attracted to the Juice.
Hmmmm...
Obviously, the third leg is his "Dingo".
ReplyDeleteActually O.J. Simpson is douche so it does seem like the douche ad does have something to do with the rest of this post.
ReplyDeleteand now my new band has a name. "Grave Womanly Offense."
ReplyDeleteI wear a boot on my dick too!
ReplyDeleteLook at that poor woman's face! The pure shame that image captures...HAHAHAHA! (Seriously, I cannot stop laughing!)
ReplyDeleteThose cleats don't look to be NFL approved on-field equipment.
ReplyDeleteWhat if one of the avid readers comes on, takes a look at that ad, and realizes "oh shit, thats my mom..."
ReplyDeletePoor guy.
I'm pretty sure that's not your mom sloth, unless she has packed on 40 pounds since then.
ReplyDeleteOh shit, that's my mom...
ReplyDeleteWhat if one of the avid readers comes on, takes a look at that first ad, and realizes "oh shit, thats my dad..."
ReplyDeletePoor guy.
And if the avid reader comes on, takes a look at that ad and says "Holy shit, that's my wife! Thank fucking Christ she got the pamphlet I sent... And it's about fucking time. That stinky fucking whore."
ReplyDeleteHey Drew,
ReplyDeleteI always keep you in mind when wasting countless taxpayer dollars searching the internet for ridiculous ads involving Mandingo Simpson...
I bet you and deadspin alone have cost the DoD thousands....
I get that look a lot when women see me naked/touch them/come within 5 yards.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who thought:
ReplyDelete"What if it was O.J. who did all those Isotoner glove commercials instead of Marino?"
It's no dumber than acid-washed:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.milkandcookies.com/link/62961/detail/
Those ads are up in the Town Hall bathroom also.
ReplyDeleteAm I really the first one to leave a "The Dingo decapitated my baby!" post?
ReplyDelete