Friday, August 31, 2007

The Last KSK Commenter Draft – Stars Of The Pornographic Film Industry


It’s the last commenter draft of the year. Next week, this slot will be occupied by the return of the Maj’s gambling column. I’ve enjoyed these drafts a great deal, largely because you, the readers, do all the effort. Well, it’s only fair to reward you. Many of you have been asking for a porn star draft for a while (shocking), so here it is.

The rules? This is a star of the pornographic film industry you would like to perform a scene with. It can be any porn star from any time in history. No soft core actors or actresses please. They have to have, like, done it with someone on camera. For reals. Once you pick a porn star, wait 10 picks until you pick another. If you provide a link to said performer, do be sure to leave a NSFW warning if necessary.

While I usually take the first pick in all our drafts, I’m going to abstain from picking this time around. Because as a husband and father, I of course have never seen a pornographic film in my entire life. Couldn’t even begin to tell you the name of any actress involved in the industry. Nikki Tyler? Who’s that? No clue. A famous judge once said he knew pornography when he saw it. Well, I would not know pornography when I saw it, because I’ve never seen it. Sorry, judge. Wish I was hip to it all.

So enjoy this, the last draft of the year. Around the 100th comment, this should start to get pretty creepy.

252 comments:

  1. Maybe a reach, but give me Sunny Lane.

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  2. Jenna Jamison 10 years ago. Before she turned into a duck and blew the whole UFC.

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  3. I'll go early reach with Roxxy Jezell

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  4. Chasey Lain. In the early to mid-90s (when I truly became a connoseur)she was head and shoulders above every other star. Hah...Head.

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  5. @ memphisraines -- great reach, though.

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  6. I'll take Asia Carrera... finally scratch that Asian itch I've had... unfortunatley it would also probably give me a new itch, but there is Valtrex for that.

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  7. I have a sad admission. The only porn star I know by name is Jenna Jameson. I could try and look some up on the internet, but I'm at work and that would be a career limiting move.

    With that said, I've seen her have sex on screen, so I'm gonna go with Christinia Ricci.

    P.S. 7:1 that I'm not the only one who wont be able to randomly name more than three porn stars.

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  8. To Sunny Lane, I add: Aurora Snow.

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  9. allie sin. horrible at acting even remotely interested, but i don't care.

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  10. Jenna Haze. In pigtails. Giggity.

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  11. With that said, I've seen her have sex on screen, so I'm gonna go with Christinia Ricci.

    REAL sex, dummy. Follow the goddamn rules.

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  12. @BBD IT LOOKED REAL TO ME!!! DAMNIT!

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  13. No brainer - I'll take Heather from ideepthroat.com

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  14. @wormfather... Black Snake Moan looks like porn, sounds like porn, and has a porn-y title, but its not porn.

    For my first pic - Gianna. Great face, long pullable hair, huge tits and a great ass. Plus she genuinely loves lots of random grinding sweaty sex. I identify with that because I sweat A LOT when I bang.

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  15. Angel Dark...mmmm...dammit now I have to go home for lunch

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  16. Brittany Skye. God, she just looks so dirty.

    With Brittany and Eva, I retire from this draft. Those are the two who do it for me.

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  17. is ideepthroat.com SFW? it sounds like an interesting site and i would like to check it out

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  18. Lily Thai - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lily_Thai

    Sorry it had to be a lame-ass wikipedia link.. I'm at work :(

    I feel as though her best work is on Mr. Chew's Asian Beaver.

    google it.

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  19. @woody Heather is a rock solid pick. I may have to go home for lunch too.

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  20. Sorry, wasn't thinking about a link. NSFW.

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  21. janine lindemulder. she's sleeved, it's hot.

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  22. Sasha Grey. A keeper league pick.

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  23. Briana Banks, but I'd have to have her sign something saying that she was not going to hurt me in the process.

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  24. Jenna Lewis.

    Still has the allusion of being a real girl, and not a dp whore like the rest of the girls picked.


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jenna_Lewis

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  25. damn, s and woody took my top two, nice work gentlemen.

    fuck it, I'll go there with Christine Young. lock me up.

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  26. I agree with Senator Heflin. Yeah that's right the women like something with more stories and costumes that'll transport 'em to another place and time

    Have you ever tried coming out of the bathroom nude, and acting like you didn't know someone was there?

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  27. A, uh.. another good thing is to get them out on your boat for some reason, because, uh.. because then it's really hard for them to get away.

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  28. Krystal Steal...which is what she is this late in the draft

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  29. I need just one more, then I'm done.

    To Lane and Snow, I add: Charlotte Stokely.

    Done.

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  30. #2 pick - Krystal Steal.

    @ Coletrain & UM - My first computer was completely wasted because I attempted to accumulate as much Heather as posible.

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  31. Ava Devine - no one enjoys sex more on or off screen than Ava Devine. Plus she is proof positive that God wants us to watch porn and/or have lots of sex.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ava_Devine

    1st pick - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gianna_Michaels

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  32. Woody...already took her

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  33. Damn Franklin -nice. I'm too slow.

    New #2 Sky Lopez - but back in her Shane's World/Amatuer days.

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  34. Let me be the 5th person to say that Heather is a great pick. I'm also going home for lunch.

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  35. Without a doubt, I pick Terri Summers (nsfw). Oh my sweet Jeebus.

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  36. Jaimee Foxworth from Family Matters
    http://imdb.com/name/nm0289340/

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  37. Chloe Sevigny...real actress, but also some real deepthroat action in 'The Brown Bunny'

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  38. interesting. the commentator drafts' found a way to go out with a bang and a whimper.

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  39. Make me the 6th. Heather was the best pick of the draft.

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  40. Raven Riley... and I'm definitely wearing a rubber

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  41. 2nd round pick: Shyla Stylez

    1st round pick was Sasha Grey[Youtube link, not sure if SFW or not]

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  42. faith of "faith exposed." british n busty. awesome.

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  43. they really should do a "Beyond the Glory" on Heather. she's like the great unspoken legend of our generation.

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  44. 1. Angel Dark
    2. Krystal Steal
    3. Brianna Banks (Motor Boating I will go)

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  45. @grimey

    That is a GREAT pick

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  46. Tiffany Rose aka Tiffany Diamond.

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  47. Naughty Allie - another one that will fuck anything that moves.

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  48. Aw man do I have a lot of homework to do when I get home. Man I miss my ex, she would blow me while I watched porn.

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  49. cytherea...for sure. there's free footage of her fountainous climaxex all over the Googles and the PornStarBooks.com. both kinds of rubbers suggested...

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  50. Mila, Queen of Nasty. She might be the dirtiest woman ever to work in mainstream porn and that's saying something.

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  51. Jenaveve Jolie. Surprised she lasted this long.

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  52. This is easy - chick is crazy, has some nice DSLs and tight body to boot...

    Tabitha Stevens

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  53. I feel vindicated with all the Heather adoration.

    Did anynoe else think that in those early years of Internet porno, Heather was the Transformers to Wifey's GoBots?

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  54. My bad... I thought Allie Sin = Allysin Chains....

    3. Sierra - Hails from the ATL, and the only girl I know off that would have anal sex to that 1980's hit "Doin' The Butt!"

    2. Ava Devine
    1. Gianna Michaels

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  55. Deidre Holland. See Chameleons.

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  56. Not always my first choice but she's grown on me in the last couple months...

    Brandi Belle.

    1. Heather
    2. Sky Lopez
    3. Brandi Belle

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  57. @woody

    If Heather was the Transformers, I would say Wifey was M.A.S.K. I wouldn't mind dating/being married to her - but she just doesn't impress me as a porn star. So much better talent out there.

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  58. Nicole Sherdian - not the comeliest lass, but she possesses an "enthusiasm" I find endearing.

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  59. 1.Angel Dark
    2.Krystal Steal
    3.Brianna Banks
    4. Kristi Myst (Probably a real stretch here but I have to take her. Im tired of just stalking. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=217172274)

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  60. katerina konec. owner of possibly the world's perfect pair of tits.

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  61. I'm going old-school and picking Marilyn Chambers

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  62. Sunny Leone. Indian girl from Canada.

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  63. Come on Coletrain...Heather is amazing. forget the sex. Give me Heather and my NFL sunday ticket....now that is FAN-TAS-TIC..
    Brady Deep Throw....Heather Deep Throat

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  64. Jewel De'Nyle. Late in her career after she gained a little weight. I've already got one skinny bitch in Mila and that's plenty.

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  65. For pick two, I'm onna throw down some Tera Patrick.

    Surprised she's still around this deep in the draft...but I ain't complainin'

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  66. @franklin

    I love Heather... I just am not impressed with Wifey. BTW Transformers > M.A.S.K., agreed?

    @miss daisy

    Nice pic with Sunny Leone, I love the Indian chicks... dot AND feather!

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  67. Terra Patrick. MMMMMMM.

    Oh, and pssst. It's Ape's birthday.

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  68. @ Coletrain - I almost spit out my coke. Hilarious.

    I don't usually get a chance to particpiate in the drafts...but this one is a must. Football starting, Labor Day weekend basically already started in my office, heading to see my favorite D1 team kick hell out of a small directional school, and porn draft.

    Fantastic.

    Too bad Rollergirl doesn't qualify.

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  69. Tera Patrick was a nice late pick. I loved what she did in the 2001-2002 porn season for me

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  70. Lanny Barbie at my 3-spot.

    I don't care that she hardly speaks a lick of English - that French Canadian biyatch can straight up take it!!

    1. Tabitha Stevens
    2. Tera Patrick
    3. Lanny Barbie

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  71. 4. Anjali (NSFW) - the first "dot" indian of the draft with a rocking body and she, again, would fuck anything on or off camera. Plus she introduced me to that phenomenon called "dogging."

    3. Sierra
    2. Ava Devine
    1. Gianna Michaels

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  72. Heather Vuur, from Meet Heather. She is gorgeous.

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  73. I'm still reeling from the revelation that porn stars have wikipedia entries.

    hehehe...entries.

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  74. I'm gonna pass on the draft, but that story you linked to was highly entertaining. And yeah, I'd like to see that video. If your friend dies before you, I think you should tell that story at his funeral.

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  75. forget going home for lunch, i'm taking the afternoon off

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  76. 3rd round pick... Flower Tucci.

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  77. jada fire. i need some color.

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  78. Here's Heather: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heather_Vandeven

    That's all I need.

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  79. Next Door Nikki. Yeah, most of her stuff isn't hardcore but she's done a few.

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  80. 1. Angel Dark
    2. Krystal Steal
    3. Brianna Banks
    4. Kristi Myst
    5. Amy Reid (That chick is ridiculous)

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  81. [i]Jenaveve Jolie. Surprised she lasted this long.[/i]

    Great pick, I too am surprised she lasted this long. Baddest bitch in porn right now.

    My top 3:
    1. Jenaveve Jolie.
    2. Teagan Presley
    3. Marquetta (Jewel??)

    Need some color on my list but love a dirty white chick too and Teagan is ona the dirtiest.

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  82. Nice call on the Amy Reid franklin...she's bad!

    For my 4th (and probably final) pick, I'm slating Aria Giovanni on my bill...

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  83. Flower Tucci's a great value there.

    I'm taking Audrey Hollander here, but can't believe nobody's jumped on Taylor Rain yet- ridiculous.

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  84. 1. Tiffany Rose aka Tiffany Diamond
    2. Sunny Leone

    3. Eve Laurence, because there are just not enough fake breasts on this board

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  85. Maria Ozawa. half Japanese half French-Canadian, 100% uber-cute.

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  86. Taylor Hayes

    What a nasty freak...

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  87. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  88. I'm getting in on this late, so I'll grab two picks...

    Savanna Samson
    Tawny Roberts

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  89. shelby belle. french-canadian and pert.

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  90. Isabella Soprano. She was better before the boob job but I still wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

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  91. 5. Aidan (sic?) Lane - Cute as a button, natural huge tits, small petite body, working her way back from LA to Boston. I loved her debut where she was laughing her ass off through the whole scene.

    4. Anjali
    3. Sierra
    2. Ava Devine
    1. Gianna Michaels

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  92. Alright, I want one more. Zoe Britton. www.zoebritton.com

    1. Heather Vuur
    2. Zoe Britton

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  93. nice work by Weed and Bruce. I'll take Sunshine Adams if you please.

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  94. all i need and, in my opinion, steal of the day...

    jesse jane.

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  95. @ tracer - that is an outstanding pick. I loved her in cathouse on HBO and just found out she's moved on. We're all excited.

    My 4th pick will be "Drunk College Girl Gets Fucked"

    I don't know her name, but she looks like she had a great Mardi Gras. Can't link to it. I'm at work.

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  96. Eve Lawrence is a great pic. My #1. However we must limit her to before she got blonde extensions. What a disaster.

    So for my pick I take Tory Lane.

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  97. Alright, I lied before, I'm gonna round out my list with this fifth choice:

    5. Sunset Thomas
    4. Aria Giovanni
    3. Lanny Barbie
    2. Tera Patrick
    1. Tabitha Stevens

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  98. sweet amy lee. also french-canadian and pert.

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  99. Somehow, I think a weekend trip to Montreal is in order.

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  100. I'm gonna take the guy on the far left in the Lemon Party.

    So fucking hot.

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  101. Tania Rusoff

    With her and Taylor Hayes my team will be insurmountable...or infinitely mountable.

    2. Tania Rusoff
    1. Taylor Hayes

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  102. Eve Lawrence - I am not going to go back and search through a hundred some odd post to see if someone took her all ready.

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  103. Ryaan Reynolds. Google her, Wiki her, whatever. You shall be a believer.

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  104. @chris

    Good point, it's easier to wait until someone points out that someone took her already.

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  105. @Chris: I took her already.

    Last pick, Silvia Saint.

    1. Tiffany Rose aka Tiffany Diamond
    2. Sunny Leone
    3. Eve Laurence
    4. Silvia Saint

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  106. @coletrain - I am sure we can share her. In fact I believe several people all ready have.

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  107. For my sixth and final pick...

    6.Africa Sexx - She has made a great comeback (pun wholeheartedly intended) in the last few months and she is awesome looking and working in the sack.

    5. Aidan (sic?) Lane
    4. Anjali
    3. Sierra
    2. Ava Devine
    1. Gianna Michaels

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  108. @BDD: DAMN YOU!

    My 3rd pick is the Meatspin guy then...

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  109. @SportsGirl365
    What's that? You said it's Christmas Ape's birthday today?

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  110. Anna Belle

    Look her up on freeones.

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  111. @ dick_gozinia

    Great pick, guess you saw where I was going with my picks.

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  112. 2 more; I love the Latinas

    Dillan Lauren, and Hailey Paige (gotta love a nasty little cockswallower w/ an overbite).

    Limewire rulez.

    Great topic by the way.

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  113. The over-40 Nina Hartley. I need some maturity and leadership in my lineup.

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  114. @BDD: hahaha, totally, b/c he's obviously the gayest one of them all (he's the one with the dick in his mouth)

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  115. i can't believe she hasn't been taken yet.

    Carmella Bing

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  116. @365 porn stars seem to be more important than ape's b-day.

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  117. @colonelstinkmeaner

    Hailey Paige is great in "Da Vinci Load"

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  118. far more important. we've never even seen ape fuck.
    also, i pick havana ginger.

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  119. Who can leave out Daisy Marie? What a slore! I LOVE IT!

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  120. Way late to the party.

    I would have taken Jenna Haze and Tera Patrick in the pro division, and Raven Riley and Nella in the amateur division.

    There's this INSANELY hot Brazilian chick named Mona (NSFW), I'll take her #1.

    Then "Subway" Jamie Lynn (NSFW). No ass, but what a great face.

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  121. Following my original Briana Banks pick, I'll draft the lesser-known Penny Flame. But only because Coletrain took my original #2 of Naughty Allie. I would not only do a scene with her, I would marry her (if I could get her to stop screwing every guy that asked).

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  122. Nice pick on the Sylvia Saint.

    3. Nici Sterling... a British babe with a love for anal.

    Then again, who doesn't love anal?

    2. Tania Rusoff
    1. Taylor Hayes

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  123. my second pick:

    Kim Kardashian

    the girl has a better BJ technique than most of the professionals listed on here.

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  124. More than 150 comments and there are still fresh names up there.

    Are is there that much porn out there?

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  125. @ asmith -- no. we're just making up porn-ish names.

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  126. Like Drew I cannot name a single pornstar. Unlike Drew I've seen every porno ever made. It's just that when you download a clip of midget and roofie porn they never remember to include the credits.

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  127. why is this taking so long?

    Says King Julien

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  128. I thought I would be much...MUCH to late to get Sky Lopez, but sign me up.

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  129. @ jackin' -- agreed. since this is the last fantasy draft before the season, it's stupidly fucking late to do this, but i propose that for all drafts next season, we insititute a minnesota vikings rule by which, given no selections in a five-minute period, the ten-pick waiting rule shall be waived.
    agreement? fuck and yes.

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  130. @jewdago

    Porn-ish names ...
    1) Something to do with heaven or hell (angel, sin)
    2) something exotic
    3) really basic Anglo names like Brooke, Brittney, Nikki, etc.

    So, something like Dani Woodward. Is that pornish?

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  131. @teller tim

    Tiana Rose gives much better blowjobs than Kim Kardashian. Tiana Rose's scenes are the ones I recommend to girls who want to get better at brains.

    However, Kim Kardashian looks absolutely tasty - like heavy water.

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  132. Fuuuuck, I really wanted Catalina Cruz, so I'll take the other Cruz.

    Sunny Cruz.

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  133. Vanessa Lane available, I'll take her

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  134. @coletrain

    i will have to check her out when i get home.

    my next pick is Eve Angel. i don't think she can speak english but she has an amazing body.

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  135. @asmith -- also anything alliterative and/or is an imitation of an established actress's name (clare dames, katey holmes, etc) and unusual spellings of unusual names b.c there're so many whores these days that we needs to be creative to differentiate between them.
    also, i may be taking this far, far, far too seriously.

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  136. @ jewdago

    i, personally, can not think of a more important subject than porn.

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  137. 164 comments down and no one took Kaci Starr? weak... guess she's all mine, then.

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  138. @ bigricks - Sky is taken

    I'll jump on Paris for my fifth pick. I'd rather watch her screw the state of California than touch her myself, but it's all about value on this pick.

    1. Heather
    2. Sky Lopez
    3. Brandi Belle
    4. Mardi Gras broad
    5. Paris Hilton

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  139. porn-based doctorate theses for some, miniature american flags for all.

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  140. @michael -- great pick. she's think in all the right places.

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  141. As a nonviewer of porn, I'm surprised at these picks. I'm shocked stars with names like Lanita Clonde, Or Bamber Smichaels, or Raustin Kincaido have not been taken.

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  142. Christy Canyon. Best big giant natural titties ever.

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  143. Danni Ashe. Used to do some hardcore chick stuff back in the day. So the taint wouldn't even be that tainted.

    @jewdago
    Faith rules. The first porno chick I almost considered shelling out money for access to her site.

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  144. cherry potter/sherry angel, depending on which site of hers you end up at. also canadian.

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  145. Flower Tucci is every nba ball player's dreamgirl....white girl with a nice ass...oh & she's white...

    give me Roxy Reynolds

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  146. Aurora Jolie is my next pick. Anal queen extrodinaire.

    I second the 5 minute rule superceding the 10 pick rule.

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  147. Belladonna. She is fucking crazy.

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  148. @thenaturalmevs - Sorry to scoop ya, but she's hot.

    4. Vanessa Chase

    I seem to have a thing for Seymore Butts's throwaways...but the guy has good taste.

    3. Nici Sterling
    2. Tania Rusoff
    1. Taylor Hayes

    ReplyDelete
  149. Leaving the house now, so I'll take one more pick now then catch up with you wonderful perverts later.

    Naomi Russell (DEFINITELY NSFW)

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  150. jackin4beats,
    naomi was hot, have you seen her lately tho, she lost like 30+pounds and looks like shit

    ReplyDelete
  151. @spiff -- damn you, you bastard.

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  152. Paris Hilton
    Also Jersey Jaxin

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  153. @ spaceman spiff or is that Doctor Spaceman?

    I haven't seen her lately. That too bad that she lost the thickness that made her so hot. Cocaine is one hell of a drug.

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  154. with my 4th pick i will take Vanessa Blue.

    4. Vanessa Blue
    3. Eve Angel
    2. Kim Kardashian
    1. Carmella Bing

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  155. Sydnee Steele.

    that girl was an aboslute pro and had a mouth like a sewer. Just listening to her have sex was hot.

    Since I picked very late I'm also going to take Jill Kelly.

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  156. rita faltoyano. natural, gorgeous, foreign.

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  157. Anybody take Severina Vukovich? She's not a porn star , she's a pop star from Eastern Europe who's sex tape is basically fantastic, she takes it right in the pooper like a champ. Sign me up.

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  158. Katja Kassin, b/c Chase scooped my favorite dirty girl

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  159. nope. she's yours if you want her.

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  160. Nice - cause I'm all about her!

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  161. anyone else reminded of (or even remember) warren g's 1994 ho draft?

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  162. #3 - Riley Mason
    #2 - Alaura Eden
    #1 - Anna Belle

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  163. alright, that's is. anarchy and the minnesota viking bylaw are in effect and i'm taking lindsay layne with my final pick -- an ugly jewish whore with a filthy fucking mouth. and thus, my slut stable:

    1. avy scott
    2. allie sin
    3. janine lindemulder
    4. katerina konec
    5. jada fire
    6. shelby belle
    7. sweet amy lee
    8. havana ginger
    9. cherry potter/sherri angel
    10. rita faltoyano
    11. lindsay layne

    and welcome to what i did at work all day. my employer hates you, ksk

    ReplyDelete
  164. When I was but a young lad, I discovered a videotape my brother had hidden. The tape was Doin' It!, and one of the stars was someone named Drea.

    Call me sentimental, but that was my first pornographic love. So I'm goin' with Drea.

    WF

    ReplyDelete
  165. Fuck, oversleep on a day off and I miss this draft. Color me pissed off. Anyways, since I'm actually an Indian (the dot variety, not feather), and I always look to support pioneers in our community, I'll take the Princess of Cream, Nadia Nyce. Her Wikipedia entry states that she "was particularly well-known for allowing male stars to ejaculate onto her face, and for her enthusiasm for apparently swallowing semen." Giggity giggity, giggity goo. I wonder if Kobe Bryant is aware of her - she'd be just his type.

    And since I'm late and get the feeling this thing is winding down - and because I can't believe she's still around - I'm also taking Jasmin St. Claire, one of the most exotic (French, Italian, Russian, Swedish, Indian heritage), sluttiest (Gang Bangs, etc.), and most well-educated (Columbia University, speaks French, German, Spanish, Italian, knows sign language, worked as an investment banker) porn stars ever. And no, I don't give a fuck she's with Blue Boy. Oh, and because I love Latinas, I'm also taking Heather Lee. And with that, I'm off to download some, err, e-books off uTorrent...

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  166. Linsey Dawn McKenzie... former UK Page 3 girl (so she's a quality piece of ass) and did some hardcore.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linsey_Dawn_McKenzie

    and...

    Jelena Jensen, pretty sure she's only done some girl-girl stuff but damn... (link = NSFW) I think she's a steal here... http://www.jelenajensen.com/index1.html

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  167. @ jewdago

    Rita's moles freak me out.

    fif and final pick:

    Kay Parker

    had to throw in somebody from the 70s.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Katja Kean
    Raq Darrian
    Ginger Lynn

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