Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The KSK Guide To Naming Your Fantasy Team
I suck at naming fantasy teams. Every year I come up with a fantasy team name (last year’s were Babette’s Meast and Hot Carl Lee), and every year I discover myriad other team names that put mine to shame. This is disappointing, as 50% of the joy I derive from fantasy football comes from naming and drafting my team. Everything after that is almost a letdown. There are 10 to 12 teams in every league (or, if you happen to be Punter and lack the ability to count, 14). Chances are, my team isn’t going to be the one that wins. And, if I do happen to win, then I’m just another asshole who brags about winning his fantasy league. I fucking hate those people, and so do you. It’s all sort of downhill from the initial thrill of starting out the year. You Arizona Cardinal fans can surely sympathize.
Well, this year, the pressure was even higher to come up with an acceptable team name, because the good folks over at Yahoo! Sports have invited us to join their Blogger All-Star (oxymoron alert) League, which they’ll be covering from week to week. It features us, Will Leitch, MJD, and other assorted chronic masturbators. As such, we could not select team names that were dirty (Boner In Your Butt, anyone?), homophobic (Chris Simms Is A Fag!), or ethnically displeasing (South Carolina Cracka Ass Crackas). This, as you might guess, created an almost impossible challenge for myself and my KSK colleagues. It meant we had to come up with names that were actually clever. Not our strongest suit. In fact, it’s not even a suit we have in our wardrobe.
There are no real rules to coming up with a fantasy team name. They tend to fall into categories: Dirty, Film/TV/Music/Internet references, News references, Puns, and Potpourri. Names can overlap categories, of course. But, for this exercise, let’s tackle these one by one. It’s a fantasy name brainstorming session! Actually, since we’re dealing with my brain, it’s more of a brainfogging session. I'll be assisted by some KSK friends, including flubby, who excels at this practice (his NCAA pool name this year? Octopussybasket.).
Dirty Names
Unusable for our Yahoo! League, but usable for the KSK keeper league. Dirty names never get old, because they are dirty. Sure, Space Dockers is not the most original team name. But hey, it’s space docking. It’s funny, because it’s horrible. Here were a few during my initial brainstorm session:
-Laser Rocket Cocks
-Fuck You Brandon Jacobs
-Penis Toaster
-TO Loves The Cock
-Cock Salad
-Ass Sashimi
-Angry Butt Pirates
-Strawberry Shortcakes
-Dildo Dishwasher
-Beaver von Bismarcks
-Carolina 'Gina
None of these are good. In fact, they’re all horrible. I don’t know how you make a cock salad, and I don’t want to find out. I assume ranch dressing is used for symbolic purposes. Laser Rocket Cocks is almost acceptable, because it works in a football reference. But, overall, these are God awful.
Film/TV/Music/Internet References
Fact: Over 70 million fantasy teams last year were named Whale’s Vaginas. The problem with making references now is that everything has officially been referenced. Think that Krull reference was a great pull? Wrong. Lots of other people also grew up in the 80’s, too. Jagoff. Frankly, I blame “Family Guy” and “I Love The 80’s” for beating every possible reference available into the ground. Even Internet references like “Carl Mondays” and what not can get tired within 24 hours (especially in our hands!).
Still, that won’t stop millions from naming their team “Sexy Time Explosions” this coming year. And you know what? It’s still pretty fucking funny. Here were some from my discard pile:
-A Planet Full Of Unicorns
-Mischievous Badgers
-Sandy Sullivan’s Gaping Snatch
-GoLords
-Destiny's Frankensteins
-Man Vs. Zakk Wylde
-Koolaid Maroneys
-Big Black Cocks With Pearly White Cum (this may also fit in the Dirty category)
-Pumps And A Bump
-Mary Worth’s Suicide Watch
-Spidermanbearpigs
-The Ambiguously Gay Uffords
As you can see, it’s hard not to spruce up some of these references with salty language. Additions like “gaping snatch” are always an improvement. And look, a Hammer reference! But not a reference to when Hammer was popular, but to his ill-fated gangsta makeover! It’s doubly ironic! Koolaid Maroneys makes me happy, and any chance to make fun of Ufford is always time well spent. Otherwise, some of these names are about as funny as a new Deadspin commenter.
News References
Current events in sports or other news are always a good foundation for naming teams. Especially if it refers to an athlete or coach who is in trouble. It’s an enjoyable way of laughing at another person’s personal anguish. Why, I just spent an hour today trying to think of every possible name involving the word Ookie. And any reference to a coked-out Lindsay Lohan is guaranteed to remain current. The problem, of course, is that most news references can grow old before the end of the year. Don’t believe me?
-Smoot’s Fingercuffs
-Scooter Labia
-Britney’s Flobee
-Mitt's Massholes
-Joslyn Morse’s Manpussy
-Virginia Gameness
-Ookie Monsters
-The Killing Of A Chinese Ookie
-Ookie Blaylocks
-Fortune Ookies
-Ookie Cutters
-Ookie Monsters
-Ookie Wilsons
Fred Smoot and Scooter Libby jokes. Man, do those topics have legs! Especially in a keeper league! I liked “The Killing Of A Chinese Ookie”, but Yahoo! wouldn’t allow names longer than 20 characters. Buttfuckers. I use the word “Manpussy” any chance I get, but that was out. As you can see, I went a bit overboard on the Ookie references, which brings us to…
Puns
Fantasy team names bring out the aspiring New York Post headline writer in all of us (my personal favorite Post headline, regarding a scam at Ground Zero: “Ash-Holes”). Puns are considered hacky, lame, and the refuge of a shitty writer. Which is why I thought of hundreds of them. I’ll only list a couple here to spare you the pain.
-Otis Spunksmeyer
-Goodell Ship Lollipop
-Schorno for Pyros
-The Cunt of Monte Cristo
-Tits Ahoy
I write ad headlines for a living. If it weren’t for puns, 99% of all advertising would cease to exist. As would shitty, horrible team names like these.
Potpourri
Freed from confining genre names, random names allow you to come up with shitty names or in-jokes that have nothing to do with much of anything. GO WILD!!!!
-Body by Mangini
-Bong Hits For Satan
-The Winking Nipples
-Maraschino Jeff Garcias
-Dan Shanoff’s Shaved Back
Body By Mangini was a personal favorite of mine, since it made fun of Eric Mangini (he has tits!) and myself (I do too!) simultaneously. Pot jokes always get a good reception. People love substance abuse. I have no evidence that Shanoff shaves his back. That was all through the power of my imagination.
As I said, many of these categories overlap, which is how I came up with my final team names.
KSK League: Brian’s Dong
Yahoo! League: BradyQuinn Handparty
Brian’s Dong is a combo of Dirty Name, Movie Reference, and Lame Pun. But I liked the fact that it represented the gay porn name for some old football weepie I never watched. Starring Gay Sayers!
Yahoo! has accepted the latter name for now. No one can resist a tribute to this photo:
And the Borat reference, while tired, was fitting. EXTREMELY fitting. So it had that going for it, which was nice.
But names are in the eye of the beholder. You may like the name Brian’s Dong. You may prefer Pan Down For Reggie Bush. Regardless, the important thing is that YOU like the name you picked for your team. After all, you’re the only asshole on Earth who cares about it. Until Week 10, when Larry Johnson tears his patellar tendon.
So happy naming to you, fair fantasy players. I hope you come up with something better than the shit I came up with. I’m quite certain you will. Your names welcome in the comments.
And if you’d like to know the names of the teams in the KSK Keeper League, here they are:
-Brian’s Dong
-My Hot Babysitter Raped Me
-Mattoon Green Wave (Hey Leitch, try something new for once)
-No Poon For Plaxico Tax
-We Are The Diamonds, We Come From Glasgow
-Cum Dumpsters
-Birmingham Church Fire (from UM, an inspried choice)
-Canada Roughriders
-Al Harris’ Fruit Bowl
-Gaza Striptease
-Gabelicious
-Misconstrudas
-Mr. Irrelevant (Way to make an effort, Mottram)
-Cleverly Named Team (from DJ Gallo. There’s a reason he gets paid to make jokes and I do not.)
is UM the birmingham church fire? my two teams are "apes at a rave" and "lisa 'dead-bitch' lopez" (that one never gets old)
ReplyDeletePurina Vicky Chow. Contains enough pot to mellow out even the toughest dogs.
ReplyDelete(Yes I'm still angry, and I don't even own any dogs).
...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Meast Juice
ReplyDeleteBaseball - Stupid Angelos (obviously)
ReplyDeleteFootball - I'm thinking "Bear Gylllis Sleeps in Hotels"
All my fantasy teams are named "Off Constantly." It's like my Dad used to say, "Son, you just can't beat Off Constantly."
ReplyDeleteWhy, no, that joke doesn't ever get old for me. Why do you ask?
My best team names I have had:
ReplyDeleteMike Charlie Foxtrot
Achaean League
Monkey Steals the Peach
The Pimp's Backhand, that is all
ReplyDeleteIf they won't let you use the Butt Pirates, go with an obscure Milhouse reference I used to use -- the Dreaded Rear Admirals.
ReplyDeleteOtto Man - I thought you would have gone with Team Discover Channel
ReplyDeleteJon-Benet Rams. That is all.
ReplyDeleteMy only decently named team? The Ralston Roid Ragers. Timeless, alliterative, asinine, it has it all.
ReplyDeleteHave I become that predictable, Chris?
ReplyDeleteI once had a team by that name but no one in the league got the joke. I think I wound up changing it to the B-Sharps or something less obscure.
I've used Team Discovery Channel. I even made a shitty photoshop icon of Martin and Nelson. I've also used Unexplained Bacon in terms of Simpson's references.
ReplyDeleteAlso, The Cleveland Steamers never gets old.
Hannibal's Cannibals should work well - movie reference and it's clean...unless you're the one being eaten then not so much.
ReplyDeletepeehole bonanza
ReplyDeletemy team is named Ron Mexico's Revenge...........
ReplyDeleteApparently BDD is really a fan of the name "Ookie Monsters".
ReplyDeleteUkrop Deep Sixes
ReplyDeleteSupermarket in Richmond that is closed every Sunday.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAnal Conquistadors is a favorite of mine... another is The Gash Sacks
ReplyDeleteI just usually go with "Greg Oden's Raven".
ReplyDeleteTeam Balco - Baseball
ReplyDeleteHelen Keller's Disciples - Football
I think I might go with "Jason and the Assgrownuts" this year.
ReplyDeleteStandbys.
Pre-teen clean.
Pardon the Intervention
My mom and dad having sex
The last name is a curse on the other teams as every week someone will have to think, "Who am I playing this week? Oh, I'm up against my mom and dad having sex."
The Old Spice Red Zone Sponsored by Home Depot and Made Possible by a Donation from the Carnegie Foundation. Too long?
ReplyDeleteI've used something to do with Ron Mexico every year since I've started (only been playing three years now but in 2 leagues). And oo-boy have I lucked out this year. Good'ol Ron Mexico has given me lot's of potential names. Might go with Ron Mexico Gave My Dog Herpes but I'm looking for something a little shorter. Any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteLast year, I went with "The Jonathan Taylor Thomas Experience." Include a picture and see how many frightened and/or confused looks you get at the draft. Good times.
ReplyDeleteI'm going with the Ookie Shuffle
ReplyDeleteLast year, my team was the orgasmic hillbillies
ReplyDeleteSpleen's for Breakfast
ReplyDelete@Mark.
ReplyDeleteMr. Mexico's Ookie all stars
Mr. Mexixo's Ookie Opus
Ookie and Anthony
"Kenny Irons Suitcase"
ReplyDeleteIn the last year:
ReplyDeletePrison Gravy and Delicious Afterbirth - Hockey
Billion Dollar Penis - Basketball
Jews for Jesus Alou - Baseball
I'm regretting not following Otto Man's advice and going with the Dr. Sally Waxlers.
ReplyDeletein consecutive years a team in my league was:
ReplyDelete-Curtis Enis, throbbing penis
-Curtis Enis, revenge of the penis
-my penis is bigger than the penis of curtis enis
-Enis envy
I refuse to do Borat references... no matter how funny they are, your Borat-themed team will be one of millions. No fun in that.
ReplyDeleteThen again, I'm the guy who has named his team Smelly PirateHookers for three years running. And for my office league, I stick with the Chewbacca Defense (law firm league obviously). Or the SMU DeathPenalty - cause it's fun to make fun of my own school.
Just decided on "Second Eye Blind" with orlando brown pic as my logo.
ReplyDeletemy best name was "System of McCown" a couple of years ago, which I arrived at after spending literally hours trying to work up lame puns involving band names and NFL players (Mike Minterpol, anyone?).
ReplyDeleteMartin Luther Lizard Kings
ReplyDeleteFootball options:
ReplyDelete-Ookie Lavagetto (football AND baseball)
-Construda for All!
-Oh Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaah (I just can't get enough of that Koolaid)
-Ms. Adam (think about it...)
Basketball:
-Jew Slamma Jamma
-Playing for O.J. Mayo
Baseball:
-The Rime of Julio Franco
-Don't Fuck with DeJesus (I can't take credit for that one, it belongs to somebody in my Yahoo! League)
-The Elijah Dukes of Hazzard
Any sport- Young Nuclei (you knew I had to go there)
Brian's dong. Nice.
ReplyDeleteGrande Assblast. That was my name in a Starbucks-led league last year. Now, Starbucks sucks, and I must think of a cooler name.
ReplyDeleteUsing a reference that my league doesn't quit get, I went with team Clasina Valkenberg
ReplyDeletecorrection: "brown eye blind" is way better
ReplyDeleteI'm partial to Freddie Mercury AIDS. As soon as you see me on the schedule, you dead dawg.
ReplyDeleteOokie Salad Tosser
ReplyDeleteThree Doors DownSyndrome
ReplyDelete"second eye blind" is better than "brown eye blind". while brown eye blind incorprates the crude as well as the clever, it's almost too complicated, and you lose the music reference.
ReplyDeleteYour Mom's Boyfriend
ReplyDeleteI like to start insulting other players immediately. It gets uncomfortable if someone has a dead mom, but hey, you should've tried harder to keep her alive fuckface.
I've been Grampa's Magic Anus for years. It's creepy with a children's book flair.
ReplyDeleteFor Baseball, the probably unoriginal Doug's Man-Cave Itch.
ReplyDeleteCorey Lidle's Co-Pilots has a nice ring to it; however, not quite apropos for a football team.
ReplyDeletehockey: Primeau Shit
ReplyDeletenascar: Skoaliosis
@luis bup:
ReplyDeletePat Tillman's Platoon?
Tim Donaghy's Kneecaps
ReplyDeletenascar: Danica Patrick's Muffler
ReplyDeletebaseball: Barry's Track Marks
football: Ricky's Sticky Icky
Throwgasms for some, miniature American flags for others!
ReplyDeleteTHE BAD NEWZ KENNELS
ReplyDelete@ smoothvanilla...I like your choice. I usually go with the abbreviated 'Your Mom'. This way even if you lose you can say "Your Mom took a pounding this week."
ReplyDeleteTeam name used for baseball and football: Bo Knows Hoes
ReplyDeleteAlso came up with 2 Phat 4 Spandex for my old roommate.
Baseball: Dickie Thon in a Box
ReplyDeleteFootball: The Enis Mightiers
i tend to try to class it up a little bit with The Late-Term Abortions
ReplyDeleteLeinart's Love Child
ReplyDeleteWill be good for at least 18 years.
Brady's Bastard Baby
ReplyDeleteI too am a user of the name bad newz kennels it is not original but it makes me happy.
ReplyDeleteThe Menocu King Prongs
ReplyDeleteBukkake Sunrise
ReplyDeletebest name I ever saw was:
ReplyDeleteJoe Theismann's Leg
I tried to copy the theme, but the best I could come up with was:
Rae Carruth's Girlfriend - I think Yahoo would ban this immediately.
My team in a league of kids I knew threw radio stations for a few years was
ReplyDeleteThe Bouncing Soldier Fields
Basketball :420 Bakers.
Baseball: M&L Airlines
And hockey is always :Fleury's Bottle (a gold star for whoever get's that reference)
Useable for all are
The Christ Punchers
The Upright Otters
Fondue With Cheddar
Blanquito Favorito (Works really well if you are the lone honkey in an all minority league. Why yes, I do live in Harlem why do you ask?)
Great article! Well done!
ReplyDeleteJugs and Red.
ReplyDeleteOriginally I set up this year's Yahoo! team with the name "First Place," but then I switched it to "Romo Is My Holder," because fuck the Cowboys, that's why.
ReplyDeleteStink Eye For The Straight Guy
ReplyDeleteLindsay's Alcohol Bracelet
Lazy Knee Grows
The Vanderjagoffs
ReplyDeleteEli's Badminton Buddies
@john john the bastard
ReplyDeleteAlong the same lines, my team name last year was Honky Kong. But all the people in my league were white. Hmm. So it's not the same at all. Shit.
NHL
ReplyDeleteKarl's Dyke House
The Fighting Jesuses is always a fan favorite.
ReplyDeleteCome on now. How can you not use "God Emperor Goodell"? I'm using it in all my leagues this year.
ReplyDeleteThree Nut Minimum
ReplyDeleteThe Milano Hairbrush
Hard Pipe Hitting Wookies
Raging Mega-Huge Boners
The Mitch Cumsteins
Single & Hammered
Danny Pintauro's Mustache
Tom Fupa is bringing home the championship again this year.
ReplyDeleteNajeh Shit in Your Hamper
ReplyDeleteTurf Cock
ReplyDeleteHelen Killer.
ReplyDelete@jpyeager22 - You should be banned from this site for admitting to being involved in fantasy nascar. For shame!
ReplyDeleteI've gotten away with "Ron Mexico's Herpes" and "The Phil McCrackens" in past Yahoo! leagues.
My asshole buddy created his league in June, which is illegal in my book. You need to wait until late July. So my temporary team name is "June is For Baseball". But since its mostly cops in that league I was thinking of "Baconators" or "Donut A$$holes" or "The Bacon Smellers" just to piss them all off.
My league has been called "Southside Scumbags" for 5 years now. Year 2 was "Scumbags Strike Back" and Year 3 was "Return of the Scumbags". I is clever.
I stick with the simple. I call my team... Team.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about the name "Atomic Donkey Punch" for a while, and even created a logo for it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I'm going to go with it though.
I was somewhat inspired last night by "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" to name my team "The Portuguese Breakfast." The logo potential is intriguing.
Dominic Jones and the Blast Crusade
ReplyDeleteThinking of going with "Construda is for closers"
ReplyDeleteI feel it has a nice ring to it
The Quiet VT Koreans
ReplyDeleteI was debating between Fido Wanna' Ookie or Cujo Wanna' Ookie but it would just suck if there were other Ookie teams in the league.
ReplyDeleteA sampling of years past:
ReplyDeleteTickle Me Elton (BktB)
Soul on Ice (Hock)
Briar 2
The Underhill's Bill
Sorry John Paxson (BktB)
Tremendous Slouches
Vickheads (FB)
The Uncle Tomlinsons (FB)
Cush-lash (FB)
Cardiff Giants
1-800-Joe-Horn (FB)
Mr Sinilindins
The May Tricks (BB)
Saving Nolan Ryan (BB)
Roids of London (BB)
The Roid Mosebys (BB)
Neil Page Songbook
Habitual Linesteppers
Frayed Labrums
Crazy Cool Medallions
The Silver Mullets (Hock)
For five years I have been the proud GM of Reggie White's Rainbow Coalition.
ReplyDeleteCozy's Squagels
ReplyDeleteFantasy baseball team this year: David Cone's Dick. Am I the only one who remembers when women were accusing him of whipping out his dick in the bullpen at a sparsely attended home game and displaying it to female fans? Apparently...no one thinks it's funny. Fuck them.
ReplyDeletefor my movie reference football league:
ReplyDeleteDaddy's not coming on anything!
I'm regretting not following Otto Man's advice and going with the Dr. Sally Waxlers.
ReplyDeleteYou never listen, Ape. And that's why I hit you.
"Send me to a psychiatrist, will you? Take that, Dr. Sally Waxler!"
I gotta Go with "The Suite Life of Rexy and Ookie"
ReplyDeleteBalls Deep.
ReplyDeleteFunky Butte Sects.
ReplyDeleteYao Minge
ReplyDeleteMy 21" Femur
ReplyDeleteDue to Yahoo's space limits, all one word...:
ReplyDeleteMike Vick Doggy Day Care
Hmmm...someone already has "The Dogfighters", so "MikeVickDoggyDayCare" is out...
ReplyDeleteI think this year I'm going with
ReplyDeleteTexas Turf Tacos
I never win the leagues, but always win "Best Name." A sampling:
ReplyDeleteA Rectal Prolapse
Scissor Me, Xerxes
Colostimus Prime
A Connie Chung Christmas
Andy Dick's Last Flush
The Aristocraps
Grandma's Weathered Funpatch
But I still don't have a good one for this year. . .yet. . .
Best name hands down: The First Downsyndromes
ReplyDeleteRon Mexico's Home for Wayward Dogs
ReplyDeleteEnhanced Performers
ReplyDeleteAlways go with two names every year: The Kobra Kai Dojo (my yahoo screen name is actually John Kreese) and The Noodle Incident (an extremely obscure Calvin and Hobbes refrence,) but I think "Ron Mexico's Home For Wayward Dogs" is going to be added to the roation.
ReplyDeleteShaved Beavers, here.
ReplyDeleteThe Wesley Crushers.
ReplyDelete@ biggus rickus:
ReplyDeleteMike Coolbaugh's Carotid Artery?
my team is the "Mexico Pit Bulls"
ReplyDeleteSalaryCapInYoAss, although I may also use Peregrym Reaper to honor Big Ben's Bridget Moynahan-wannabe girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteGoing along with the Ron Mexico theme, my best effort was "Gonhorrea and the Burning Sensations" with Vick's picture as the team logo. Second place was a reference to the No. 1 cause of death in the civil war, "The Tennessee Quicksteps" this time with VY as the logo.
ReplyDeleteI'm cruising along, enjoying the article, as always... Chuckling at the names and then "The Cunt of Monte Cristo" stops me dead and I have "an episode".
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for that. I appreciate it. Sure, it's not new, but it was totally unexpected here.
pits of muhammad - baseball
ReplyDeletechrome horn - nascar
dirty sanchez - nfl
Baseball:
ReplyDeleteSuspicious Cream
Football:
Noodly Appendages
Fred Taylor's Groin
This year... Weekend at Benoits
ReplyDeleteI foolishly thought that I was the first to name my team "Bad Newz Kennels", I'm an idiot.
ReplyDeleteBy I have a new (and already classic)one. "4th and Schlong"
I also have gone under the name "Weekend Warriors".
The Little Donny Foundation.
ReplyDeleteI have been the "Brown I-Formations" for last few years
ReplyDeleteOutstanding. I love your work.
ReplyDeleteHow about these:
Punch the One-Eyed Clown
12 Inches of Dangling Fury
Taco Dressing
Coiled Spitting Dragons
Jim and the Twins
Sorry, all with sexual connotations. I'm sick, aren't I?
Baseball:
ReplyDeleteThe Flaxseed Oilers The Annie Savoy Special
Football:
The Unsportsmanlike Conductors
Golf (yes, golf):
The Flungclub Shaftsnappers
who made el duque?
ReplyDeleteoreo jeters
pacman jones and the lookouts
workin' the anal angle
hymen on the totem pole
klecko my eggo
george washingmachine
knocked uppers
tractor gonorrhea (seinfeld)
a-rod upyerpooper
jalen rosebud
kobehurtinmyass
iraqi pataki!
Cory Lidle's Flight Instructor
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@ noah:
ReplyDeleteCory Lidle's Co-Pilots wasn't specific enough for you?
names i've gone with:
ReplyDeleteMomma's Bukkake Pie
Bab's Uvula (Bill Murray/Gilda Radner SNL skit)
Chris Hansen's Cockblockers
ReplyDeleteI've done well with:
ReplyDeleteHomer Pimpson
Ashy Larry
@ bill b
ReplyDeletehands down my favorite. just beautiful
In the past I've gone with shit like Droughns' Driving Academy and Najeh's Hamper... then I realized that my team names--not unlike 90% of all Deadspin commenter names--was following the [This guy]'s [that] formula, so I'm trying to move away from possessives this year. I may go with an old standby: The Tony Danzas.
ReplyDelete- The Bukkake Tsunami
ReplyDelete- Doug Flutie's Retarded Sons (Not even remotely clever, just awful and wrong in every way)
- Mark Chmura Day Care
- Sons of Brady
- Viva Ron Mexico
- (Going back to a classic KSK post) Wade Phillips, who the fuck are you?
The Brady Munch
ReplyDeleteGo with Dexter Manley Book Club. Timeless and mean-spirited.
ReplyDelete-2 minute drill w/your mom
ReplyDeletehas served me well. Dirty, pun and insult all in one.
I dont have the best team names...usually something All-Stars.
ReplyDeleteie Dave Burba's All Star's or Ray Finkle's All Star's
My fantasy baseball league is "Roger Dorn Night." I rather like that one. As in, "is April too early for a Roger Dorn night?"
Let's see... the Atlanta Alpha Dogs are this years sportingnews team.
ReplyDeletePrevious years: JD and the Mooks (obscure reference to INXS), the Chefs, the Buckfutters.
Other Teams: The Japanese Ballslappers (baseball), the Montreal Steak Spice (hockey), the Poop Schrutes (hockey again).
With Another Man's Testicles.
ReplyDeleteSo the conversation goes:
"Who are you playing this week?"
"I am playing With Another Man's Testicles this week."
That is the only funny thing Bill Simmons ever wrote or said. Although he probably stole it from someone else.
Movie references....
ReplyDeleteMr. Blutarski 0.0
Abe Froman, Sausage King
Laces out Marino!
Eric Stratton "damn glad to meet ya"
Find me one other site on the Internet where you can get a John Cassavetes reference to go with your Hammer makeover reference.
ReplyDeleteWell played, Drew. Well played.
The past names I have used:
ReplyDeleteFeces Pieces
Ted from Accounting
Edward Penishands
The Rural Jurors
The Lufthansa Heist
Honey Nut Ichiros
Vandelay Industries
Short Bus Rapist
Holley Mangold's Gash continues to provide me with pleasure...
ReplyDeleteWait that came out wrong.
I may have missed it, but has Will Leitch's Black Shirt been mentioned?
ReplyDeleteMy old favorite (not too applicable anymore):
ReplyDeleteChiefing the Trent Green
Some others:
Vick's Electricians
Seventh Floor Crew Alumni
Ron Mexico and the Drip
Ronnie "Get In Ma" Belliard (Baseball)
ReplyDeletePigskin Labia's (football)
The Electric Koolaid Construda Test
ReplyDeleteToo nerdy???
For baseball: Ugueth's Vacation Home
ReplyDeleteTaint Misbehavin'
ReplyDeleteI named my team "with a man's balls"
ReplyDeleteAnd then every week I'd ask my opponent who he was playing this week.
Funny
Pillow Pants
ReplyDeletei went with Phisting Ray Finkle...I had to go with the non phonetic (odd how that word isn't spelled fo-net-ikly) use of Fisting because the ass blasters at ESPN apparently figured out that there is another use for that word
ReplyDeleteDirty Gerbils
ReplyDeleteRichard Gere