This is probably the least lethal video that will get shown in our kill, kill, kill series. Nonetheless, the very same ferocious instinct driving this turtle to attack these cats, compelled the mighty T.Rex to be a killing machine. If this turtle had some dagger-like teeth or sharp claws, there would be two less cats in this world. As it stands, it can only lash out in impotent fury. Like ESPN's ombudsman.
Terrapin vs. housecat. Christmas Ape's loyalties must be deeply divided on this one.
Speaking of foul-tempered reptiles, even though Al Davis can't win anymore, he is still one vengeful old bastard. Adam Rank at the FanHouse says Davis waited as long as possible to fire personnel executive Mike Lombardi, in order to keep him from hooking up with another team this season. Leaky Lombardi should brush up on his Italian, starting with "omertà ."
I shit you not: this Arcade Fire song sounds like Eddie & the Cruisers.
Last item: Oral Sex Increases Throat Cancer Risk Scientists Say Just want to let our valued readers know this story is out there. Personally, I think the doctors behind this report are all vile little cretins who are trying to fill our heads with damnable lies. They should be dragged into the streets and flogged mercilessly.
In the meantime, you might want to rehearse a phony refutation in case someone tries to cite this study at a particularly inopportune time. "Whoa baby, that report was roundly rejected by a blue-ribbon, double-blind, uh twelve-year study at the University of Medicine Tech State. Yeah, it was, uh, even on Oprah."
Wow! I heard that Arcade Fire song the other day and that's the first thought that came to my head; "Hey, this sounds like an updated Eddie and the Cruisers tune!" Eddie lives!
ReplyDeleteTurtles are vicious little bastards if you fuck with 'em enough. When I was a little kid, a friend of mine almost got his finger chewed off by a turtle.
ReplyDeletethat turtle is crazy or on crack.
ReplyDeletei'm also guessing there were no gay scientists involved with that throat cancer/oral sex study.
vaffanculo is another italian term lombardi might want to brush up on as he walks out the door.
Refute said article w/this one:
ReplyDeletehttp://2fatnlazy2care.blogspot.com/search/label/scientists
Problem solved...
after listening to that song i was waiting for the mandolin playing singer to bust out with , "on the side....". can't say i will be putting any arcade fire on my ipod anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteNice to see Flubby stepping up to deliver the Norm-McDonald-does-Larry-King schtick.
ReplyDelete"Red wine is a terrific wine, but so is white wine! .... Does anyone really care if Pakistan has the bomb? .... Actress Melanie Griffith: One class act! .... Now that the world population has reached 6 billion, gang, something tells me it's only gonna get bigger. .... Nothing is as consistently funny on the tube as the TV show "Becker". .... The more I read about Albert Einstein, the more I realize this guy was a true genius."
I wish I could train my dog to go after cats like that.
ReplyDeleteI hate cats.
RE: Terp-- That is one bad ass Ninja Turtle. I wonder if a Pellican can go and swallow the fucker whole!
ReplyDeleteRE: BJ's-- Brady Quinn's a dead man.
That video made me giggle for 2 solid minutes.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever fought a turtle? They're fucking relentless.
/Hedberg
Whither John Cafferty and his Beaver Brown Band?
ReplyDeleteOtto - One of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteTurleyGirlie - Talk to Micheal Vick, I believe he is trying to get rid of a few well trained dogs/killing machines.
just re-read my earlier post. i meant "on the dark side...".
ReplyDeleteJC and TBBB were/are the pride of narragansett, ri. let's not forget their other soundtrack hit from the 80's "hearts on fire" from rocky 4
Remember kids BJ's don't count
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with Mike Piazza and his family during his battle with throat cancer.
ReplyDeleteAnybody else read the article and start giggling uncontrollably at "multipartner-jigjig throat cancer"?
ReplyDeleteAs a Terp and a cat person, I gotta say: that cat is a total pussy.
ReplyDeleteI could sure go for some good old fashioned plain-vanilla rogering to help get me out of the mid-afternoon doldrums.
ReplyDeleteAnybody else read the article and start giggling uncontrollably at "multipartner-jigjig throat cancer"?
ReplyDeleteNo giggling, but it did make me think of Quagmire from Family Guy. Giggity-giggity!
Totally agree with landru - my cat would have killed that turtle the second it moved her out of her sunspot. Then this video would have been like every other kill, kill, kill video.
ReplyDeleteWith the first pick in the 2008 NFL Draft the Detroit Lions select...
ReplyDeletethat turtle.
Millen: "Tremendous upside, we'll probably play him at receiver."
totally landru. My cat Fred would've eaten that turtle.
ReplyDeleteJesus, the turtle scared the fur right off that cat.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWas that a re-creation of De la Hoya-Mayweather?
ReplyDeleteIf you guys want to see pictures of a cat that actually kills things, visit www.whatjeffkilled.com.
ReplyDeletedisclaimer: it's not for the faint of heart/stomach
We all know what's going through that turtle's mind.
ReplyDeleteOnce you get a little taste of pussy, you become singularly focused on getting as much as you can!
albany hawker. upstate NY, represent !
ReplyDeleteJC and TBBB were/are the pride of narragansett
ReplyDeleteIsn't that a filthy tasting beer like Boh's?
We all know what's going through that turtle's mind.
ReplyDeleteOnce you get a little taste of pussy, you become singularly focused on getting as much as you can!
In that case, it must be a box turtle.
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.
i wouldn't call it filthy tasting. they stopped brewing narragansett beer for a long time , but recently started brewing it again. never heard of Boh's , but Piel's is one nasty ass beer.
ReplyDeleteC-I-L-L...
ReplyDeletethat cat.
We all know what's going through that turtle's mind.
ReplyDeleteOnce you get a little taste of pussy, you become singularly focused on getting as much as you can!
In that case, it must be a box turtle.
That turtle's going to get throat cancer if it's not careful
Did anyone click on David's link up there? I'm afraid to.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty much the anatomy lesson of small animals that you'd expect to find......
ReplyDeleteHow do you guys know the Arcade Fire song is ripped from "On the Dark Side" when that song is itself sonically indistinguishable from Bruce Springsteen's "She's the One"?
ReplyDeleteThat turtle video would have also benefited from some Beastie Boys SABOTAGE.
ReplyDeleteSo While You Sit Back and Wonder Why
I Got This Fucking Thorn In My Side
Oh My, It's A Mirage
I'm Tellin' Y'all It's Sabotage
- b b b Barney
Ohyea, PA.
I kept rooting for the turtle to take a bite out of that cat!
ReplyDeleteEveryone deserves to get a lil tang every now and then...
That turtle is the balls!
ReplyDeleteDoes this study cut both wise?
Like, are there a million girls out there scared that noone is going to go down on them anymore either?
jammq- yes, the study cuts both ways. Oral sex does not cause throat cancer, but HPV (a virus) can, and can be sexually transmitted. And apparently through oral sex, too. The "oral sex linked to throat cancer" headlines are very misleading.
ReplyDeleteWow...the feline population better watch out because that turtle isn't fucking around.
ReplyDeleteThat turtle is as deadly to pussies as the Sex Cannon...damn...
Wonder what we will be drafting today? I hope its fast food.
ReplyDelete...I'm hungry
Jeff the cat is a mean bastard. I think his killing spree would come to an end if he met that Terminator Turtle.
ReplyDeleteRE: Arcade Fire, The Boss, and Eddie and the Crusiers.
ReplyDeleteI blogged my thoughts on the new album when it initially came out.
Check it out!
On the Darkside
kill vick
ReplyDelete