Requisite Christmas Cheer!
Down and out KSK reader or Jeremy Shockey circa 2015?Disclaimer
You are probably an idiot, just send us your money. We could use it to buy that donkey that MMP's had his eyes on.
Pontifical Parlay
America's Team -3 @ NY Giants
Remember that "home" game New Orleans had to play in the Swamplands (it's not a meadow you fucktards)? Well the Saints remember it vividly...except for Reggie Bush, although I imagine he was all up in Katrina Kaif around that time (at least that's what I'd be doing if I was Reggie Bush). The bitches in blue have one win in their last six "efforts" and they're more likely to throw the world's gayest temper tantrum than cover a spread.
Unsilent's Team +2 @ St. Louis
Laugh if you want, but St. Louis is fucking terrible. They're 1-5 ATS in their past six while the Redskins are 3-1-1 in their past five. Washington is finally starting to play relatively well while St. Lou's season is going about as well as a Chinua Achebe novel.
Unsilent's Team +2 @ St. Louis
Laugh if you want, but St. Louis is fucking terrible. They're 1-5 ATS in their past six while the Redskins are 3-1-1 in their past five. Washington is finally starting to play relatively well while St. Lou's season is going about as well as a Chinua Achebe novel.
both games teased six pointsIndy -4 @ Houston
It's time for the Colts to get serious, the playoffs are coming and they can snag home field from the Chargers. The Texans are just fucking awful, it's not even funny anymore. Fortunately they've been scheduled for an unprecedented (outside of Texas) 53 man execution this February...alright, they're still a little funny.
Kansas City -1 @ Black Hole of Civilization
As bad as Houston might be Oakland is even worse. They should have been left to die in the forest like a redheaded child by now. LJ better put up a season high, otherwise LT won't let him be his oil boy in Hawaii.
Did I just pick all road teams? This should be interesting.
Glad you went with Achebe in describing the Rams' season instead of following your totally not white thought process to The Roots. In that case, I would have thought Scott Linehan had revived the debunked science of Phrenology to scout the least competent players possible by their sloping brow.
ReplyDeleteEither that or they'd be asking if I want more, which I emphatically do not.
that's some good commenting ape.
ReplyDeleteI'm never one to complain about Sarah Silverman, but I'm getting the impression that our favorite Jewess's matzoh balls are starting to sag as she approaches the ass-end of her thirties.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I knew I should've fucked her when I had the chance back in '98. But I was so fascinated by the goddamn schikses!
(Ok, I never had the chance to fuck her, and she would've been the one MOT that I deigned to bag if the opportunity arose. But those titties are looking droopy, you gotta admit.)
She's not Scarlett by any means
ReplyDeletethat's a perfectly sized hole in the sheet/shirt in that picture with sarah silverman.. if you know what i mean, and i think you do.. i. think. you do.
ReplyDeleteOh shit, its a chanuka miracle that my day walking ginger ass has not been left out in the forest to die after all these years!
ReplyDeleteThe combination of a Things Fall Apart reference (I read that in middle school and it's still fucking me up, killing those babies), my Rohto-V eyedrops for super chiefers and the end of Hanukkah created a single tear which rolled down my cheek.
ReplyDeleteTake the Fish +1 at home and everyone who wants is welcome to come have bad chinese food and herbal refreshments at my house on Christmas.
Taking the Broncos (-3) at the Diaphragm (fuck Invesco) because if Cincinnattica can't score against the Colts' D, they got problems. Plus, there will be leftover snow and it will not be pretty.
ReplyDeleteThis all is subject to change if Chris Henry or anyone else gets busted before the game.
blow me, that's when
ReplyDeletenice, um.
ReplyDeleteThe ironing is delicious on the mag cover by the way.
What, no Shusaku Endo reference?
ReplyDeleteThanks for this walk down awkward teenage years memory lane. It's bad enough I'm at work today.
i never did learn how to read japanese.
ReplyDeleteWhat you fellas gonna do now that Simmons is giving the gay mafia a well deserved George Michael?
ReplyDeleteLinky poo
FACT: Don't trust the picks of a jew at Christmas time.
ReplyDeleteCome on UM, isn't it enough that you guys will have all of the ethnic restaurants and movie theaters to yourselves? You've got to try and trick the goyim into picking road teams in divisional games? Can't we all just get along???
P.S. Want some ham?
only if you put it on some white bread with miracle whip and a tall glass of milk!
ReplyDeleteKC and Oakland could play on Mercury and it wouldn't make a difference
Man oh man, there is too much Jewishness being thrown around today. Yeesh.
ReplyDeleteEven a Sloth can't handle the Jew today. I'm just gonna go look at the cheerleaders.
UM said:only if you put it on some white bread with miracle whip and a tall glass of milk!
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you want Miracle Whip instead of Hellman's? I've got real Hellman's here. The "Miracle Whip" is in a non-descript generic jar that says "salad dressing". The good news is that I don't just have white bread, I have Wonder bread! (and the milk is 2% - with the 12 pack of non-lite beer consumed daily, a dude has to make some sacrifices. No pain, no gain).
That's because of the exchange rate.
ReplyDeleteBoy, it's nice to see a woman with real tits on this blog for a change. Then again she bangs Jimmy Kimmel, so -10 for that.
ReplyDelete